Not in a jotty mood. But C.I. made me laugh with "Other Items" this morning:
There's a "White House Memo" that Carl e-mails about. He wonders whether it will get the sort of ridicule that it deserves and that a "White House Letter" by Elisabeth Bumiller would? Good question.
It's entitled "Press Secretary on Trial in the Briefing Room" and attempts to provide you with the crashing waves that have threatened the love tunnel that exists between the press and Scott McClellan. Stretch praises him. Elite Fluff Patrol squad member Richard W. Stevenson blows air kisses. See, Scotty said Karl Rove and Scooter Libby weren't involved in the outing of Valerie Plame and now that the "public record" demonstrates that this false, poor Scotty and poor press just aren't sure, as Dionne Warwick once sang, what to do with themselves.
It's a tough time for both sides. All those expectations. All those laughs. Could it all be coming to end? He fed them, they stroked him. It was a mutal love affair born of self-interests on both sides. So Stevenson uses terms like "unwilling or unable" (is he charting on patients?) to attempt to explain the bind Scotty finds himself in (although it applies equally as well to what passes for the press). If Scotty comes out and speaks the truth (highly unlikely considering the administration he serves in), Karl Rove might go ballistic on him.What's Scotty to do?Stevenson frets and worries.It's all so very "Victim of Romance:"
Homeroom studyhall
I knew that I was gonna fall
Late at night I weep
Mumble in my sleep
Yeah knock on wood
Say I never felt so good
Heaven above
It must be love
Victim
Victim
I'm a victim of romance
Sing it, Stevenson, sing it!
("Victim of Romance" is written by John Martin. I'll plug Michelle Phillips' version which is available on the album of the same name and which Hip-O Select released this year on CD.)
"A member of a prominent Texas political family, he was viewed by many reporters when he took the job as genial and straightforward but difficult to knock off the White House's talking points," Stevenson all but sobs into pillow.
Stevenson reassures us that, in all the madness, Scotty's high roaded it and "has instead appealed to the better instincts of his journalistic inquisitors." Yes, he can't stop singing "Victim of Romance:"
Cold blooded felony
Murder in the first degree
It's a crime
What he's done to my spine
It certainly is. It certainly is a crime what Scotty's done to Richie's spine. A victim . . . a victim. . . Stevenson's just a victim of romance.Hopefully, it will all be worked out in time for home coming. I'd hate to think Richie might miss getting pinned by Scotty.
the new york times
richard w. stevenson
the common ills
