Friday, June 02, 2006

THIS JUST IN! CONDI RICE SAYS TIME IS RUNNING OUT FOR IRAN!

BULLY BOY PRESS - DC.

THIS JUST IN!

CONDI RICE SAYS TIME IS RUNNING OUT FOR IRAN.

SECRETARY OF STATE CONDI RICE TAKES HER JOB VERY SERIOUSLY.

OR AS SERIOUSLY AS SHE UNDERSTANDS HER JOB.

TODAY SHE ANNOUNCED THAT IRAN BETTER RESPOND QUICKLY. THEN SHE "PRESSES" THEM TO RESPOND. THEN SHE DECLARED IT WAS IRAN'S "MOMENT OF TRUTH."

"AFFAIRS OF THE HEART ARE AFFAIRS OF THE STATE," EXPLAINED CONDI. "BULLY BOY'S TRYING REAL HARD TO LOSE WEIGHT FOR THE FACE TO FACE. I WILL NOT HAVE HIM LEFT THE FAT GIRL PLAYING WALLFLOWER AT THE DANCE. THAT HURTS. I KNOW."







Recommended: "NYT: Re: Haditha, ask the Times for a correction"
"And the war drags on . . . (Indymedia Roundup)"
"My interview with Kat"
"more marine news and talking about my grandmother"
"Quick post"
"TV commentary: About the women"
"Kat's Korner: Dixie Chicks Taking The Long Way home while NYT gets lost along the way"
"TV commentary: About the women."


Thursday, June 01, 2006

THIS JUST IN! FATTY DEPOSITS ON THE BOOTIE MAKE BULLY BOY BLUSH!

BULLY BOY PRESS - DC.
 
THIS JUST IN!
 
FATTY DEPOSITS ON THE BOOTIE MAKE BULLY BOY BLUSH!
 
 
JUST YESTERDAY, BULLY BOY WAS GIDDY AT THE IDEA OF MEETING WITH IRAN.  THEN THIS MORNING, EVERY THING CHANGED.
 
 
 
 
NOT EXACLY "I'D LIKE TO TEACH THE WORLD TO SING . . . IN PERFECT HARMONY."
 
 
WHAT HAD BULLY BOY SPITTING MAD?  SO ANGRY HE USED "ABSTINENCE" IN PLACE OF "OBSTINANCE"?
 
 
A FORMER WHITE HOUSE OFFICIAL, NOT SCOTTY MCCLELLAN, REVEALED THAT THE MORNING PRIOR TO THE SPEECH HAD BEEN SPENT IN FRONT OF A THREE-WAY-MIRROR WITH VARIOUS BATHING SUITS.  BULLY BOY WAS PARTICULARLY INTERESTED IN THE MICRO-BIKINI, THE STRING BIKININ AND THE BRAZILIAN BIKINI. 
 
 
AFTER BEGGING AND PLEADING WITH SECRETARY OF STATE CONDI RICE FOR 30 MINUTES, SHE FINALLY SAID HE COULD TRY THEM ON.
 
 
GETTING INTO THE MOOD, ALBERTO GONZALES, WORLD CHAMPION IN THE BILLIE JEAN KING LOOK ALIKE CONTEST AND ATTORNEY GENERAL OF THE UNITED STATES, SAID, "HEY, I'LL TRY ON THE THE ONE WITH THE TRIANGLE TOP AND THE STRING SIDE BOTTOM.  I'VE GOT NOTHING TO HIDE, UNLIKE THE PRESS THAT I WILL CRUSH UNTIL THEY SPIT OUT EACH AND EVERY SOURCE THEY'VE EVER HAD AND BEG ME FOR MERCY BECAUSE I AM THE LORD AND THE AVENGER AND I WILL --"
 
NOTICING EVERYONE STARING AT HIM, ALBERTO SHRUGGED AND BEGAN SQUEEZING INTO HIS BIKINI.
 
 
TWIRLING AROUND, HE SEEMED QUITE PLEASED THOUGH HE DID WONDER IF IT CAME IN YELLOW?
 
 
BULLY BOY, ON THE OTHER HAND BURST INTO TEARS. 
 
 
POINTING TO THE FATTY DEPOSITS ON BOTH OF HIS OWN CHEEKS (REAR CHEEKS), BULLY BOY SLAPPED THEM AND THEY DISAPPEARED INTO A FRENZY OF WAVES AND RIPPLES.
 
 
CONDI ATTEMPTED TO REASSURE HIM THAT THIS WAS PERFECTLY NORMAL BUT BULLY BOY POINTED OUT THAT ALBERTO DIDN'T HAVE THEM "AND HE'S A BIG BONED GUY." 
 
 
 
CONDI'S ATTEMPTS TO CALM HIM DOWN WERE OF LITTLE HELP AS BULLY BOY WORKED HIMSELF INTO A TIZZY INSISTING HE WAS SO FAT THAT NO 1 WOULD EVER WANT HIM AND THERE WAS NO WAY HE WAS GOING TO THE BEACH THIS SUMMER, "NOT WITH ALL THAT JUNK IN MY TRUNK!"
 
 
 
"THAT'S WHY," THE SOURCE EXPLAINED, "HE USED 'FIRM' AND 'ABSTINENCE.'  'FIRM' BECAUSE HE CAN'T FORGET THE SIGHT OF ALBERTO IN THE BIKINI AND
'ABSTINENCE'  BECAUSE HE'S GIVING UP SWEETS UNTIL HE CAN MAKE A DENT IN THOSE FATTY ROLLS.  THERE'S EVEN TALK OF REPLACING DONALD RUMSFELD AS SECRETARY OF DEFENSE WITH JERROD FROM SUBWAY."
 
 
 
 
 

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Wednesday, May 31, 2006

THIS JUST IN! BULLY BOY ALMOST READY FOR BIKINI SEASON!

BULLY BOY PRESS - DC.


THIS JUST IN!

BULLY BOY ALMOST READY FOR BIKINI SEASON!

HAVING LOST SIX OF THE SELF-DEFINED TEN POUNDS NEEDED, BULLY BOY IS SO PLEASED WITH HIS 'TRIM' FIGURE THAT CONDI RICE IS ANNOUNCING THAT IRAN AND BULLY BOY MAY BE GETTING CLOSE TO A FACE TO FACE.

AS READERS OF THE BULLY BOY PRESS REMEMBER, BULLY BOY HAS HAD TO STALL OFF REQUESTS FOR CONTACT FROM IRAN AS HE ATTEMPTED TO LOSE TEN POUNDS, WHAT HE HAS CALLED HIS "FROSHMAN TEN" REFERRING TO THE TEN POUNDS WIDELY RUMORED TO BE GAINED IN THE FIRST YEAR.

THOUGH CURRENTLY IN THE SIXTH YEAR OF HIS OCCUPATION OF THE OVAL OFFICE, BULLY BOY SEES HIMSELF AS BEING ON A LEARNING CURVE WHICH IS ABOUT AS LIKELY AS THE LONG RUMORED 'TURNED CORNER' IN IRAQ.


CONDITIONS FOR THE FACE TO FACE ARE BEING SET AND ARE RUMORED TO INCLUDE THAT IF THE BULLY BOY DOES NOT LOSE THE LAST FOUR POUNDS, NO ONE CAN COMMENT ON THAT OR MAKE JOKES OF "FATTY-FATTY, WHO'S YOUR DADDY?"
(THE ANSWER TO THAT WHIMSICAL TAUNT IS , OF COURSE, IS CONDI RICE.)

A FORMER WHITE HOUSE OFFICIAL, NOT SCOTTY MCCLELLAN, HONEST, SAYS THAT BULLY BOY HAS HIS EYES ON A POLKADOT TWO-PIECE BUT SECRETARY OF STATE RICE IS ADVISING THAT A VERTICAL STRIPE PATTERN WOULD BE MORE "SLIMMING."

"HE POUTS WHEN SHE BRINGS THAT UP," SAID UNIDENTIFIED SOURCE. "HE REALLY HAS HIS HEART SET ON DOTS. HE SAYS THEY REMIND HIM OF THE MAP OF ALL THE U.S. BASES HE'D LIKE TO SET UP AROUND THE GLOBE."

Recommended: "Mini-essay"
"NYT: "Files Contradict Account of Raid in Iraq" (Eric Schmitt & David S. Cloud)"
"The backstory"
"Democracy Now: Electronic Voting and Citizen Journalism"
"flashpoints tonight had dahr jamail & craig murray speaking - check it out"
"Good evening. Hope everyone enjoyed the holiday a..."
"Electronic Voting Machine Study Exposes Most Serious Security Flaws Ever Documented"
"Other Items (noon Pacific Time, Anthony Arnove on KPFA's Against the Grain)"

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

THIS JUST IN! HORN DOG BULLY BOY KEEPS ON TAPPING!

BULLY BOY PRESS - DC.

THIS JUST IN!

HORN DOG BULLY BOY KEEPS ON TAPPING!

SNOW'S OUT, PAULSON'S IN.

NO, NOT TONY SNOW. JOHN SNOW.

REMEMBER WHEN BULLY BOY TAPPED HIM SOME TONY SNOW?

BULLY BOY "TAPS PAULSON" -- AND WHAT DOES THE FIRST LADY THINK ABOUT THAT????????


ANNOUNCING THE NEWLY TAPPED HENRY M. PAULSON JR. BECOMING TREASURY SECRETARY, BULLY BOY DECLARED THAT PAULSON HAD "AN ABILITY TO EXPLAIN ECONOMIC ISSUES IN CLEAR TERMS."


A WHITE HOUSE SOURCE, NOT SCOTT MCCLELLAN, REVEALED THAT MEANS,
"HE TELLS THE BULLY BOYS IT'S FOUR QUARTERS IN A DOLLAR, NOT THREE. YOU'D BE SURPRISED HOW OFTEN BULLY BOY ASKS FOR CHANGE FOR A DOLLAR AND GETS RIPPED OFF. KARL ROVE PROBABLY POCKETS AN EXTRA 20 BUCKS A WEEK OFF THAT ALONE."


Recommended: "NYT: Repubes attack the press (KPFA's Sunday Salon this Sunday -- conscientious obejctors addressed)"
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"And the war drags on . . ."
"Ruth's Public Radio Report"
"NYT: 'U.S. Is Sending Reserve Troops to Iraq's West"
"TV commentary: About the women"
"kpfa's sunday salon features a discuss on conscientious objectors this sunday!"
"Enron and Iraq"
"Enron and education"
"Editorial: The Reailities of Occupation"
"Haditha Massacre: Was it an Isolated Event and Did the Military Try to Cover it Up?"
"Crapapedia: Kids don't use it to research papers!"
"Laura Flanders and Anthony Arnove discussed realities about Iraq Saturday on RadioNation with Laura Flanders"
"Isaiah's The World Today Just Nuts "The Bully & Tony Revue"
"RadioNation with Laura Flanders on Sat: Anthony Arnove; conscientious objectors on the first hour of KPFA's Sunday Salon tomorrow"

Monday, May 29, 2006

The news

Good morning, it's Memorial Day, Monday, May 29, 2006. Here are a collection of news stories put together by The Third Estate Sunday Review's Dona, Jess, Ty, Ava and Jim;
Cedric of Cedric's Big Mix;
Wally of The Daily Jot,
Trina of Trina's Kitchen
and Dallas.

Starting with the Iraq snapshot.

In Baghdad Sunday, Sheik Osama al-Jadaan and at least one of his bodyguards is dead as a result of an ambush. al-Jadaan had been seen by some as an ally with the US administration. al-Jadaan and the bodyguard were among the at least nine Iraqis who were killed on Sunday, roadside bombs continued to be a party of Iraqi daily life and another daily feature continued as at least ten more corpses were found in Baghdad. There have been sixty American military deaths for the month of May bringing the fatality count to 2464 since the illegal invasion in March of 2003. In addition to American military helicopter pilots are missing, the AFP reports, after the helicopter crashed on Saturday. In Baquba, a new feature to the occupation emerged as three severed heads were flung out of a moving vehicle. Near Baquba, Monday has already seen eleven die from a bombing, Reuters reports. This as the United States Pentagon believes their investigation into the apparent slaughter of civilians in Haditha is winding down -- the estimated 24 civilians died in November. United States House Representative John Mutha maintains that what happened in November is as important as apparent attempts to cover up the events and to stall an investigation into them.
United States Senator John Warner has stated that the Senate Arms Committee, which he chairs, will hold a full investigation into "what happened . . . when it happened . . . what was the immediate reaction of the senior officers."

Meanwhile Nouri al-Maliki, Iraqi prime minister, has failed to meet another one of his predicitions. He set a date for himself to establish his cabinet and he didn't meet it. He just managed to meet the constitutional deadline (May 22) for the cabinet but did so only by
leaving posts vacant. Last week, he announced that he would be fill the vacant posts this weekend. Unless Iraq's having a three day weekend, he's again failed another of his own predicitions -- there remains no heads for the interior, defense and homeland security ministries.

This as Andy McSmith reports (Independent of London) that British troops in Iraq are now being attacked attacked sixty times a month since the start of the year, an increase of 26% since last year. This as the BBC reports that at least 1,000 British troops have deserted since the start of the illegal war.

In Indonesia, an earthquake on Saturday has now claimed the lives of at least 5115.
Heavy rains are preventing some attempts at rescue. This as the Phillipines have been hit with an earthquake that measured 5.3 on the Richter scale -- no injuries or deaths are reported.
The Indonesian earthquake was measured 6.2 on the Richter scale and the United Nations Disaster Assessment and Coordination (UNDAC) immediately went on alert with news of the quake. Aid agencies, including the Indoensian Red Cross, began providing assistance on Saturday including foods; however, as noted earlier, heavy rains are preventing some attempts at rescue and relief. IPS reports that this is Indonesia's worst disaster since the tsunami in December 2004 and that doctors and medical supplies are in short supply.
"The International Federation of Red Cross and Red Crescent Societies is launching an emergency appeal for 12 million Swiss francs ($9.79 million USD/ €7.68 million) to support the Indonesian Red Cross (PMI) in providing assistance to the survivors of the earthquake." As noted on KPFA's Evening News Sunday, people are sleeping in the streets as they await emergency assistance and the United States government has pledged 2.5 million dollars while the Euopean Union has pledged 3.8 million dollars.


In the United States, fire fighters have discovered the body of another victim of last fall's Hurricane Katrina "in the rear laundry room" of a New Orleans house they were searching.
The current official count of those killed by Hurricane Katrina is 1577.

In Afghanistan, a demonstration was held following a traffic incident. The BBC reports that four died when a US convoy entered rush hour traffic. The AP reports that three humvees were involved on the US side and quotes eye witness Mohammad Wali, "The American convoy hit all the vehicles which were in their way. They didn't care about the civilians at all." At least four demonstrators have died, shot by "U.S. and Afghan security forces."

Meanwhile, as the situation on the ground in East Timor grows more dangerous and deadly,
the United Nations is relocating UN family members and non-essential staff to Darwin Australia. Last week, East Timor handed over security duties to Australian forces following shootings, houses being set on fire and other violence. East Timor's president and prime minister are holding talks to discuss resolutions to the current situation while crowds have gathered outside the presidential palace calling for the resignation of the prime minister. The International Federation of Red Cross and Red Screscent Socities trace the current wave of violence to
March of this year and are attempting to assist over 25,000 displaced persons. The IFRCRSS's estimates that 50,000 have left their homes due to the current violence. As the violence continues Australia's Federal Justice Minister Chris Ellison has been quoted as saying,
"The United Nations, though, was the lead agency in all of this and the United Nations was, it had planned to pull out in a month's time. So I think really it's a question of the United Nations in this issue of whether people pulled out or not. It was the lead agency, not Australia." Peter Lewis reports that the New Zealand embassy in East Timor had to temporarily relocate the the Australian embassay due to threats from "armed thugs."


Yesterday, though the San Francisco Giants lost to the Colorado Rockies, Barry Bonds broke Babe Ruth's record for home runs. Bonds' 715 home runs now leaves him ahead of Ruth but behind Hank Aaron (755).

Though it seems long ago that Harriet Miers was in the running for the United States Supreme Court, those who remember the media coverage will remember Texas Supreme Court Justice Nathan Hecht. The media friendly Hecht has received an admonishment from the Texas Commission on Judicial Conduct for "improperly using his position" to promote Miers in an estimated "120 newspaper, TV and radio interviews" after he offered his services to the White House as some sort of go-to-guy for the media. Hecht is appealing the admonishment. In other United States governmental news, Feminist Wire Daily reports Brett Kavanaugh confirmation to the US Court of Appeals for the District of Columbia "by a 57-36 vote." The Washington Post once described Kavanaugh as "a protege" of Kenneth Starr. In The Clinton Wars, Sidney Blumenthal recounts David Brock's statement that while watching the 1998 State of the Union address, Kavanaugh hissed "b*tch" at the TV when Hillary Clinton was shown onscreen. The co-author of the Starr Report now holds a lifetime seat on the court.

In news on the NSA warrantless, illegal spying on American citizens, Bully Boy is attempting to invoke the "state secrets privilege" to stop legal actions. The Center for Constitutional Rights Shayna Kadidal notes, "The Bush Administration is trying to crush a very strong case against domestic spying without any evidence or argument. This is a mysterious and undemocratic request, since the administration says the reason the court is being asked to drop the case is a secret. I think it's a clear choice: can the President tell the courts which cases they can rule on? If so, the courts will never be able to hold the President accountable for breaking the law. If the Executive Branch can secretly squash legal challenges to its conduct like this, then American democracy as we know it is in danger." The administration filed papers Friday arguing that "New York and Michigan to dismiss a pair of lawsuits filed over the National Security Agency's domestic eavesdropping program, saying litigating them would jeopardize state secrets." Also attempting to quash legal actions that might lead to further embarrasment is AT&T "which filed a 25-page legal brief" arguing that the Electronic Frontier Foundation's class action suit should be dismissed. The AT&T brief had contained redactions but a few simple computer steps allowed the redactions to be made visible. The brief does not confirm the existance of the secret room (reported on in Wired's "Whistle-Blower's Evidence, Uncut" and "AT&T's Implementation of NSA Spying on American Citizens, 31 December 2005") but argues that "'the same physical equipment could be utilized exclusively for other surveillance in full compliance with' the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act."

In other news, Amnesty is launching Irrepressible.info to highlight "governments using the net to suppress dissent."

In Cannes, director Ken Loach has won the prestigious Palme d'Or for his film on Ireland's fight for independence from England -- The Wind That Shakes the Barley. Reuters reports "The 69-year-old film maker told Reuters in an interview earlier in the festival that the Irish fight for independence against an empire imposing its will on a foreign people had resonances with the US occupation of Iraq today."


Amy Goodman noted the scheduled topic for today's Democracy Now! (noted on Thursday's Democracy Now!):

On Monday, we bring you an exclusive interview with British Lieutenant Commander Steve Tatham, former head of the British Royal Navy's Media Operations in the Northern Arabian Gulf during the Iraq invasion. He’s author of Losing Arab Hearts and Minds.

In addition to being able to watch it on TV or listen to it on the radio, remember that you can listen, watch or read (transcripts) online at Democracy Now!

This morning on KPFK (time given is PST):


Uprising! --
Weekday Mornings from 8:00 to 9:00 am
Coming up on Uprising on Monday May 29th: A memorial day special with Stephen Kinzer on Overthrow : America's Century of Regime Change from Hawaii to Iraq.

This evening on WBAI (time given is EST):

7:00-midnight: Building Bridges-Your Community and Labor Report
With Mimi Rosenberg and Ken Nash, a five-hour marathon special featuring Greg Palast's latest investigative book,
Armed Madhouse : Who's Afraid of Osama Wolf?, China Floats, Bush Sinks, The Scheme to Steal '08, No Child's Behind Left, and Other Dispatches from the Front Lines of the Class War.

Thought for the day from the Mamas and the Papas's "Too Late" (off the album The Papas & the Mamas) : "Cause when the mind that once was open shuts / And you knock on the door, nobody answers anymore/ When the love and trust has turned to dust/ When the mind that once was open shuts . . ." ("and no one can get in").