THIS JUST IN! IRAQ PRIME MINISTER NOURI AL-MALIKI FLIES JETS!

BULLY BOY PRESS - DC.

THIS JUST IN!

IRAQ PRIME MINISTER NOURI AL-MALIKI FLIES JETS!

THE OCCUPATION PUPPET GOT HIS STRINGS PULLED AS BULLY BOY FARMED OUT MORE DUTIES.

ON WEDNESDAY NIGHT, 2 500-POUND BOMBS WERE DROPPED ON OR NEAR OR A FEW HOPS AND A SKIP FROM A HOUSE BELIEVED TO BE HOUSING THE MYTHIC ZARQAWI.

IT HAS NOW EMERGED THAT ZARQAWI OR "ZARQAWI" DID NOT DIE IMMEDIATELY IN THE BLAST.

BULLY BOY PRESS BREAKS THE EXCLUSIVE SHOCKER. THURSDAY NIGHT TONY BLAIR, POODLE AND BRITISH PRIME MINISTER, AND BULLY BOY PHONED NOURI AL-MALIKI "CONGRATULATING HIM ON AL-ZARQAWI'S DEATH."

AL-MALIKI WAS FLYING THE PLANE THAT DROPPED THE TWO BOMBS.

NEXT UP, BULLY BOY INTENDS TO HAVE HIM RESURFACING THE ROADS IN BASRA.






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THIS JUST IN! AMERICANS STILL HATE BULLY BOY'S WAR OF CHOICE!

BULLY BOY PRESS - DC.

THIS JUST IN!

AMERICANS STILL HATE BULLY BOY'S WAR OF CHOICE!

DESPITE DISPLAYING PHOTOS OF A DEAD MAN LIKE BULLY BOY HAD JUST PASSED HIM THROUGH THE BIRTHING CANAL, AMERICANS STILL HATE WAR.

A NEW POLL OUT TODAY FOUND THAT 59% OF AMERICANS DISAPPROVE OF THE WAR.

SAID KARL ROVE, "OKAY, WE'RE GOING TO HAVE TO PUT SOME MORE BODIES ON SHOW. WE'RE GOING TO NEED THEM QUICK. SOMEBODY GIVE CHENEY A GUN."




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THIS JUST IN! BULLY BOY'S THE ONE GETTING TURNED DOWN!

BULLY BOY PRESS - DC.

 

 

THIS JUST IN!

 

BULLY BOY'S THE ONE GETTING TURNED DOWN!

 

A WHITE HOUSE SOURCE ASKING TO BE KNOWN AS SHALLOW THROAT CALLED FROM THE MAYFLOWER HOTEL WITH A TIP.  SHALLOW THROAT SAID THE BULLY BOY WAS NOT TURNING DOWN THE PROPOSAL OF MARRIAGE FROM A MAN, HE WAS ATTEMPTING TO PROPOSE HIMSELF.

 

"IT'S ALL INTER-RELATED," SAID SHALLOW THROAT, "CONNECT THE DOTS AND YOU'LL SEE THAT HE'S A SPURNED MAN ACTING OUT OF ANGER BECAUSE HE WAS TURNED DOWN BY -- OH CRAP!  I'M OUT OF LONE STAR BEER."

 

WITH THAT SHALLOW THROAT HUNG UP.

 

PIECING TOGETHER THE DOTS, BULLY BOY PRESS IS ABLE TO DECLARE THAT IT IS INDEED ALL RELATED.

 

CONNECT THE DOTS.

 

*BULLY BOY SAYS "NO" TO GAY MARRIAGE.

 

*BULLY BOY SCAPEGOATS IMMIGRANTS.

 

*BULLY BOY CAN'T STOP TALKING ABOUT HUGO CHAVEZ. 

 

OPERATING UNDER SHALLOW THROAT'S PREMISE, BULLY BOY'S ACTIONS IN THE LAST FEW DAYS HAVE BEEN BASED ON HIS ROMANTIC PURSUIT OF HUGO CHAVEZ BEING SPURNED.

 

 

 

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THIS JUST IN! BULLY BOY CONTINUES TO SAY A BIG LOUD "NO" TO GAY MARRIAGE

BULLY BOY PRESS - DC.

THIS JUST IN!

BULLY BOY CONTINUES TO SAY A BIG LOUD "NO" TO GAY MARRIAGE.

BULLY BOY HAS BEEN SAYING "NO" TO GAY MARRIAGE SINCE AT LEAST 2004.


SO THE QUESTION, IS WHO'S THE GUY WHO KEEPS PROPOSING?

DUDE, ACCEPT IT ALREADY, BULLY BOY JUST WANTS TO MESS AROUND, HE'S NOT READY TO MARRY YOU.


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THIS JUST IN! MTV SNUB LEADS TO PROPOSED BAN!

BULLY BOY PRESS - DC.

THIS JUST IN!

MTV SNUB LEADS TO PROPOSED BAN!

THIS AFTERNOON BULLY BOY BLUSTERED ON ABOUT THE NEED FOR AN AMENDMENT TO BAN GAY MARRIAGE.

"OUR POLICIES SHOULD AIM TO STRENGTHEN FAMILIES, NOT UNDERMINE THEM," SAID THE BULLY BOY DESPITE RUMORS THAT THE FIRST LADY NOW LIVES IT UP IN THE MAYFLOWER HOTEL IN SOME SORT OF CATHERINE DENEUVE BELLE DE JOUR TAKE OFF.

WHILE SOME ARE SEING THE LATEST ATTEMPT TO SCARE MIDDLE AMERICA AS JUST ANOTHER TACTIC TO SCARE UP VOTERS, INSIDERS ARE SAYING THAT IT'S ACTUALLY MUCH DEEPER THAN THAT.

"THIS GAY SEX SPEECH," SAID ONE INSDER, "IS ALL ABOUT DICK. DICK CONTROLS BULLY BOY."

INDEED.







AND DICK'S FEELING MIGHTY TICKED OFF AFTER SUNDAY NIGHT'S MTV MOVIE AWARDS CONTINUED HIS LOSING STREAK. NOT ONLY WAS BROKEDOWN DEMOCRACY SHUT OUT OF ALL THE MAIN CHARACTERS BUT EFFORTS AT AN INTENSIVE WRITE-IN CAMPAIGN TO GRAB A BUCKET OF GOLD PLATED POPCORN AT THE MTV MOVIE AWARDS FAILED MISERABLY.

INSTEAD OF WINNING BEST MOVIE KISS, CHENEY (AND BULLY BOY) LOST OUT TO JAKE GYLLENHAAL AND HEATH LEDGER. CONDI RICE ATTEMPTED TO CONSOLE VICE PRESIDENT CHENEY BY TELLING HIM THAT "NO ONE COULD HAVE GUESSED" THAT HE AND BULLY BOY WOULD BE SHUT OUT OF ALL THE AWARDS.

WELL NOTORIUS DICK WASN'T HAVING IT.

AND HE WASN'T ABOUT TO LET JAKE GYLLENHAAL AND HEATH LEDGER GRAB ALL THE HEADLINES.

"I WON'T BE PUNKED BY TWO YOUNGS PUNKS!" CHENEY HOLLERED BEFORE ORDERING BULLY BOY TO GET HIS "CANDY ASS" OUT FRONT AND CENTER AND KNOCK GYLLENHAAL AND LEDGER OUT OF THE NEWS CYCLE.

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