Friday, August 04, 2006

THIS JUST IN! STILL BULLY AFTER ALL THESE YEARS!

BULLY BOY PRESS - DC.
 
THIS JUST IN!
 
STILL BULLY AFTER ALL THESE YEARS!
 
THE HIDEOUS AND VILE LEADER OF CUBA HAS A PLAN TO DESTABILIZE THE UNITED STATES.
 
WOOPS!
 
IT'S THE OTHER WAY AROUND!
 
BULLY BOY AND HIS MIDWIFE CALEB CHARLES MCCARRY HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO THEN BUTT IN TO CUBA'S BUSINESS AND TO DO IT WITH YOUR TAX DOLLARS!
 
CALEB, WHO LOOKS LIKE HE BUYS HIS SUITS OFF THE RACK AT SEARS, HAS A POINTED HEAD, A BEARD IN NEED OF GROOMING AND AN APPARENTLY CONSTANT BLUSH TO HIS FACE THAT IS NATURAL BUT MAKES IT APPEAR HE'S BEEN SNEAKING SIPS OF MD 20/20 SINCE ABOUT 9:10 A.M. -- RIGHT AFTER HE DRANK UP THE LAST OF THE KENTUCKY DELUXE.
 
MEANWHILE CONDI RICE, FRESH FROM HER LAST MUSIC GIG, WILL TRY TO PLAY OPRAH AND OFFER CALMING WORDS TO . . . CUBANS WHO ARE WORRIED ABOUT THE STATE OF THEIR COUNTRY . . . FOR OBVIOUS REASONS!
 
 

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Thursday, August 03, 2006

CINDY SHEEHAN AND FEELING FAT KEEP BULLY BOY FROM ENJOYING AUGUST!

BULLY BOY PRESS - DC.
 
THIS JUST IN!
 
CINDY SHEEHAN AND FEELING FAT KEEP BULLY BOY FROM ENJOYING AUGUST!
 
IN ONE FOR THE GUINNESS BOOK OF WORLD RECORDS, BULLY BOY IS SET
 
THE ASSOCIATED PRESS FLOATS RUMORS THAT BULLY BOY IS CONCERNED WITH WHAT ARE SEEN AS DIFFICULT ELECTION PROSPECTS IN NOVEMBER; HOWEVER, THE BULLY BOY HAS NEVER BEEN NOTED FOR CONCERN FOR OTHERS -- AS DEMONSTRATED BY HIS MOCKING OF DEATH ROW INMATE AND BORN AGAIN CHRISTIAN  KARLA FAYE TUCKER.
 
NOR IS THE CURRENT SITUATION IN THE MIDDLE EAST KEEPING BULLY BOY FROM HIS RANCHETTE IN CRAWFORD SINCE HIS OBVIOUS LACK OF CONCERN AND COMPASSION HAS BEEN WELL ESTABLISHED.
 
WHAT IT BOILS DOWN TO, IN THE END, ARE 2 CHIEF REASONS.
 
 
Some would argue Bully Boy ran from the National Guard -- some might agree he's running from Cindy Sheehan.  The AP reports that Bully Boy, the vacationing leader, will have far less than his usual weeks and weeks of summer vacation, and has instead reduced it to "nine days" based at his ranchette in Crawford.  Bully Boy plans to return to DC August 13th. Camp Casey, on land Sheehan now owns in Crawford, will open on August 6th this month.  Camp Casey will be open from August 6th through Septemeber 2nd. 
 
BUT THE CHIEF STICKING POINT REMAINS THOSE PACKED ON 5 POUNDS. AS FIRST REPORTED HERE IN A MAY 31ST BULLY BOY PRESS EXCLUSIVE, THE BULLY BOY OF THE UNITED STATES WAS AVOIDING A FACE TO FACE WITH IRAN DUE TO THE FACT THAT HE HAD ONLY LOST 6 OF THE 10 POUNDS HE NEEDED TO DROP.  NOT ONLY HAS BULLY BOY NOT BEEN ABLE TO LOSE THOSE 4 POUNDS BUT HE HAS ADDED A POUND. 
 
IT HAS GOTTEN SO BAD THAT A FORMER WHITE HOUSE OFFICIAL, NOT SCOTTY MCCLELLAN, ADMITS THAT BULLY BOY HAS GIVEN UP ON HIS DREAM OF SPORTING A TWO-PIECE, POLKA--DOT BIKINI.  TRYING ON THE VERTICAL STRIPE PATTERN SECRETARY OF STATE CONDI RICE HAD BEEN PUSHING LED TO THE BULLY BOY BURSTING INTO TEARS, FLOPPING ONTO THE BED, PUNCHING HIS PILLOW AND SCREAMING, "NO! NO! NO!"
 
AS A RESULT OF HAVING CINDY SHEEHAN FOR A NEIGHBOR AND AS A RESULT OF BEING UNABLE TO GET SWIMSUIT READY THIS SUMMER, BULLY BOY IS POUTING AND NOT EVEN VICE PRESIDENT DICK CHENEY'S JOKES THAT THEY CAN BOMB THE HOSPITAL FIDEL CASTRO IS BEING TREATED IN HAVE RESULTED IN SO MUCH AS A SMILE.
 
 
Recommended: "Iraq snapshot"
 
 Guinness Book of World Records

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Wednesday, August 02, 2006

THIS JUST IN! SHE SNAPS! PRESS HOWLS!

 BULLY BOY PRESS - DC.
 
THIS JUST IN!
 
SHE SNAPS! PRESS HOWLS!
 
CONTINUING THE MEAN GIRL STREAK, BULLY BOY WAS AS SAUCY AS GUEST NUMBER TWO ON CONAN TODAY WHILE INTERACTING WITH THE LAP DOGS OF AMERICA (PRESS).
 
"YOU WANT TO DOUBLE THE SIZE?"  BULLY BOY TAUNTED (PROBABLY SOBBING INSIDE AS HE THOUGHT OF THOSE 5 POUNDS HE STILL CAN'T DROP -- NEVER DID GET BIKINI SEASON READY).
 
"FORGET IT!"  CRIED AMERICA'S CHIEF HEATHER.
 
LOST IN THE LAUGHER AND MUTUAL BUTT SMOOCHES WAS THE FACT THAT THE JAMES S. BRADY PRESS BRIEFING ROOM WAS BEING RETIRED BY BULLY BOY.
 
 
JAMES BRADY WAS INJURED BY JOHN HINCKLEY WHEN HE TRIED TO KILL THEN PRESIDENT RONALD REAGAN.
 
. . . GEORGE H.W. BUSH WAS VICE-PRESIDENT.
 
AS THE ASSOCIATED PRESS REPORTED THEN: "THE FAMILY OF THE MAN CHARGED WITH TRYING TO ASSASSINATE PRESIDENT REAGAN IS ACQUAINTED WITH THE FAMILY OF VICE PRESIDENT GEORGE BUSH AND HAD MADE LARGE CONTRIBUTIONS TO HIS POLITICAL CAMPAIGN, THE HOUSTON POST REPORTED TODAY."
 
AS ARTHUR WIESE AND MARGARET DOWNING REPORTED THEN FOR THE HOUSTON POST: "NEIL BUSH SAID MONDAY THAT HE HAD MET SCOTT ONCE AND THAT THE BUSH FAMILY KNEW THE HINCKLEY FAMILY BECAUSE OF THE LARGE POLITICAL CONTRIBUTIONS THEY MADE TO THE VICE PRESIDENT'S CAMPAIGNS.  . . .  IN 1978, NEIL BUSH SERVED AS CAMPAIGN MANAGER FOR HIS BROTHER, GEORGE W. BUSH, THE OLDEST SON OF THE VICE PRESIDENT.  NEIL BUSH LIVED IN LUBBOCK THROUGHOUT MOST OF 1978, WHICH IS WHERE JOHN HINCKLEY JR. LIVED FROM 1974 THROUGH 1980."
 
 
NOW THE JAMES S. BRADY PRESS ROOM IS NO MORE. 
 
 

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Tuesday, August 01, 2006

THIS JUST IN! ALL HAIL THE SEVENTEEN MAGAZINE READING LEADER!

BULLY BOY PRESS - DC.
 
THIS JUST IN!
 
ALL HAIL THE SEVENTEEN MAGAZINE READING LEADER!
 
BULLY BOY HAD HIS PHYSICAL AND CAME OUT SOUNDING LIKE ANY OTHER YOUNG TEENAGE GIRL FLIPPING THROUGH THE PAGES OF SEVENTEEN MAGAZINE, LOOKING FOR DIET TIPS AND ENJOYING "ROCK YOUR BODY" AND "STYLE COUNCIL."
 
IGNORING THE GOOD NEWS, BULLY BOY COULD ONLY FOCUS ON ONE THING: "THOSE EXTRA FIVE POUNDS!"
 
"PROBABLY ATE TOO MANY BIRTHDAY CAKES," HE MUTTERED CHECKING HIMSELF OUT IN THE MIRROR.
 
IN ATTEMPT AT DAMAGE CONTROL, WHITE HOUSE MOUTH PIECE TONY SNOW WAS RUSHED OUT TO DO A SONG AND DANCE BUT ENDED UP SOUNDING LIKE BULLWINKLE PRAISING FEARLESS LEADER: "HE'S STILL HEALTHIER THAN WE ARE."
 
POSSIBLY, BUT HE'S STILL A PUDGY GIRL.  BULLY BOY WAS LAST HEARD BEGGING DAUGHTERS JENNA AND BARBARA TO TAKE HIM TO SEE JOHN TUCKER MUST DIE, SAYING "IT LOOKS SO, SO GOOD!!!!  I LOVED MEAN GIRLS AND THIS LIKE HAS THE SAME KIND OF VIBE!!!!"
 
 
Recommended: "Iraq Snapshot"
 
 

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THIS JUST IN! BURNS BURNS FIREFIGHERS!

BULLY BOY PRESS - DC.
 
THIS JUST IN!
 
BURNS BURNS FIREFIGHTERS!
 
REPUBLICAN SENATOR CONRAD BURNS TALKED THE BIG TALK IN THE PAST. 
 
ON DECEMBER 30, 2004, BURNS WAS OF THE OPINION THAT:
 
Fighting fires in not an easy job, and the men and women who are out there battling these blazes deserve the best training and equipment possible to make sure they can get the job done safely.
 
CONNIE BURNS TALKS A BIG TALK.  BUT IN REALITY?
 
 
NO, TO REAM THEM OUT.  TO TELL THEM THEY WERE DOING A "POOR JOB." THEN CONNIE EXPRESSED SURPRISE WHEN HE LEARNED THAT THE FIREFIGHTERS ONLY MADE BETWEEN 8-12 DOLLARS AN HOUR. 
 
ISN'T IT CONNIE'S JOB TO KNOW THAT? 
 
GUESS HANGING WITH JACK ABRAMOFF DOESN'T LEAVE A LOT OF TIME FOR MEETING THE 'LITTLE PEOPLE.'
 
 
CONNIE SEEMS CONFUSED A LOT.  THOSE WANTING SOMEONE A LITTLE MORE SOLID SHOULD CHECK OUT JON TESTER.
 
THOSE HAPPY WITH EMPTY TALK MUST BE PLEASED AS PUNCH WITH REPUBLICAN CONNIE.  AS THE MONTANA DEMOCRATIC PARTY POINTED OUT IN JUNE:
 
 
 
. . . But Burns Voted Yesterday Against Providing Discounted Telecommunications Services For First Responders.

Burns Voted Against Providing Discounted Telecommunications Services For First Responders. On June 27, 2006, in the Senate Commerce, Science and Technology Committee, Burns voted against an amendment to the telecommunications bill (H.R. 5252) that would provide first responders with discounted telecommunications services for increasing interoperability. The amendment failed on a party-line vote, 10-12. [H.R. 5252, Senate Commerce Committee; CQ, 6/27/06]

No Surprise, Since Burns Has Voted Against First Responders At Least 16 Times . . .

Burns Opposed $487 Million For State And Local First-Responder Grant Programs. In July 2005, Burns opposed an amendment that would add $487 million for state and local first-responder grant programs. [HR2360, 7/13/05, #178]

Burns Opposed $16 Billion For First-Responder And Transportation Security. In July 2005, Burns opposed an amendment that would increase funding for emergency first-responders and transit, rail, truck and port security programs by approximately $16 billion. [HR 2360, 7/13/05, #177]

Burns Voted Against Funding for First Responders. In March 2005, Burns voted against an amendment that would increase fiscal 2006 funding for the Community and Regional Development account by $715 million and for the Administration of Justice account by $140 million. It would stipulate that the funding be used for first responder programs, port security grants and border patrol agents. It would be offset by a cut in the Allowances account. [S Con Res 18, 3/17/05, #64]

Burns Voted Against Funding for First Responders. In March 2005, Burns voted against an amendment that would increase funding for first responder programs by $1.6 billion in fiscal 2006 and reduce the federal debt by $1.6 billion. It would be offset by a $3.2 billion reduction in tax reconciliation provisions. [S Con Res 18, 3/15/05, #50]

Burns Voted Against Firefighter Assistance Grants. In September 2004, Burns voted against an amendment that would increase funding for firefighter assistance grants by $150 million. [HR 4567, 9/14/04, #175]

Burns Opposed $15.8 Billion for First Responders. In September 2004, Burns voted against increasing funding for police, firefighters and other state and local emergency personnel by $15.8 billion. [HR 4567, 9/9/04, #170]
 
 
 

 

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Monday, July 31, 2006

THIS JUST IN! ROVE DISHES, PRESS TAKES IT!

BULLY BOY PRESS - DC.
 
THIS JUST IN!
 
ROVE DISHES, PRESS TAKES IT!
 
THE PORTLY AND SO UGLY IT HURTS HIM KARL ROVE DECLARED THIS WEEKEND THAT JOURNALISTS PLAY A "CORROSIVE ROLE" IN POLITICS.
 
SADLY NONE PRESENT ASKED HIM TO CHARACTERIZE HIS OWN ROLE IN THE OUTING OF THEN CIA AGENT VALERIE PLAME. 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

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