THIS JUST IN! VOTE G.O.P. OR THE TERRORIST . . . MIGHT DO . . . SOMETHING!

BULLY BOY PRESS & CEDRIC'S BIG MIX - TAMPA & KNOXVILLE

THIS JUST IN!

VOTE G.O.P. OR THE TERRORIST . . . MIGHT DO . . . SOMETHING!

MUST CREDIT BULLY BOY PRESS & CEDRIC'S BIG MIX!

VICE PRESIDENT, YOU GOTTA GET THE "VICE" IN THERE, DICK CHENEY TOLD AN AUDIENCE TODAY, "THIS CONFLICT IS A LONG WAY FROM OVER. IT'S GOING TO BE A BATTLE THAT WILL LAST FOR A VERY LONG TIME."


SADLY, HE WASN'T SPEAKING ABOUT THE BATTLE OF THE BULGE THOUGH HIS BELLY CONTINUES TO HANG OVER HIS BELT SO PROMINENTLY THAT IT COULD BE TURNED INTO A CAR PORT.

WHAT WAS HE TALKING OF?

NO ONE IS REALLY SURE.

HE MIGHT BE SPEAKING OF THE ARMED AGGRESSION OF ISRAEL BUT, IF SO, THE U.S. HAS OFFICIALLY SAT THAT BATTLE OUT.

ORIGINAL GANSTA CHENEY THEN STATED, "IT IS VITAL THAT WE KEEP ISSUES OF NATIONAL SECURITY AT THE TOP OF THE AGENDA" WHICH SHOULD HAVE LED TO HECKLES OF "WHAT ABOUT 9-11!"

BUT HE WAS SPEAKING TO A REPUBLICAN AUDIENCE, AT A REPUBLICAN FUNDRAISER IN TAMPA SO, MAINLY, PEOPLE JUST SCRATCHED THEIR HEADS AND ONE WOMAN WAS OVERHEARD TO SAY, "DICK CHENEY HAS A FAT ASS."

HOMELAND SECURITY QUICKLY ESCORTED HER OUT OF THE BUILDING AND SOMEONE, NOT CONNECTED TO DICK CHENEY WE ARE SURE, ANNOUNCED THAT THE WOMAN'S HUSBAND WAS SECRETLY "GARMENT INSPECTOR NUMBER 9" WHOSE WORK IS WIDELY KNOWN BUT WHO HAS NEVER BEEN PUBLICLY IDENTIFIED PREVIOUSLY.

SOMEONE WHO LOOKED LIKE CHENEY, BUT TONY SNOW INSISTS WAS NOT CHENEY, STATED TO THE AUDIENCE THAT GARMET INSPECTOR NUMBER 9'S REAL NAME WAS "VICTOR BANE."

REACHED AT HIS TAMPA HOME, MR. BANE WONDERED WHERE HIS WIFE WAS AND ADMITTED THAT, DUE TO THE OUTING, HE WOULD NO LONGER BE ABLE TO CONTINUE HIS WORK AS GARMENT INSPECTOR NUMBER 9.

DICK CHENEY WAS HEARD TO CHUCKLE AND DECLARE, "ALL IN A DAY'S WORK. WHO NEEDS F**KING KARL ROVE? YOU FEEL ME? YOU FEEL ME?"

WHILE CHENEY WAS CHUCKELING, HIS PARTY WAS DEALT A BLOW IN TENNESSEE WHERE G.O.P. CANDIDATE FOR GOVERNOR MARK ALBERTINI, SOON TO BE KNOWN AS MARK MARTINI, WAS ARRESTED, FOLLOWING A FUNDRAISER, FOR PUBLIC INTOXIFICATION.

IN HIS CAR, POLICE REPORTEDLY FOUND A BOTTLE OF WINE AND A GUN.

"STUPID F**KING FOOL!" SNARLED VICE DICK, "DOESN'T HE KNOW YOU ONLY GET DRUNK BEFORE YOU GO HUNTING! STUPID F**KING, P**CK A** G***AMN S**T F**KER!"

NOTING A FAMILY OF THREE STARING AT HIM IN SHOCK, DICK CHENEY THREW BACK HIS HEAD, RUBBED HIS PORTLY BELLY AND LAUGHED, "GOD BLESS HIM. GOD BLESS US ALL."

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"THIS JUST IN! BULLY BOY DISCOVERS RACISM! NEXT UP: GRAVITY! "
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THIS JUST IN! BULLY BOY DISCOVERS RACISM! NEXT UP: GRAVITY!

BULLY BOY PRESS - DC.

THIS JUST IN!

BULLY BOY DISCOVERS RACISM! NEXT UP: GRAVITY!

SPEAKING TO THE NAACP FOR THE FIRST TIME IN HIS 6 YEARS IN THE OVAL OFFICE (HE'S VERY SHY, WHITE HOUSE FLACK TONY SNOW SWEARS THAT BULLY BOY IS EVEN QUOTE: "PEE SHY"), BULLY BOY DECLARED, "I UNDERSTAND THAT RACISM STILL LINGERS IN AMERICA."

THOUGH THAT 'DISCOVERY' UNDERWHELMED WHEN HE PLAYED "BULLY BOY CONFESSIONS," HE GOT HUGE APPLAUSE BY SAYING "I UNDERSTAND THAT MANY AFRICAN-AMERICANS DISTRUST MY POLITICAL PARTY."

ALBERTO GONZALES STOOD UP AND SHOUTED, "YOU GO, GIRL!" THEN LOOKED AROUND AWKWARDLY WHEN HE REALIZED EVERYONE WAS STARING AT HIM.

IN A MUTUALLY SELF-SERVING MOMENT WHERE THIS REPORTER BONDED WITH TONY SNOW OVER HOW "WHITE" THE INTERNATIONAL WINNER IN THE BILLIE JEAN KING LOOK-ALIKE CONTEST) AND ATTORNY GENERAL WAS, TONY SNOW REVEALED THAT BULLY BOY DISCOVERED RACISM STILL EXISTS AFTER WATCHING THE THREE HOUR BLOCK OF GOOD TIMES ON TV LAND EARLIER IN THE DAY.

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THIS JUST IN! JERRY LEWIS SINGS "YOU GOTTA HAVE FRIENDS"

BULLY BOY PRESS - DC.

 

THIS JUST IN!

 

JERRY LEWIS SINGS "YOU GOTTA HAVE FRIENDS!"

 

NO, NOT JERRY "THE KILLER LEWIS," JERRY LEWIS IN THE CONGRESS, GUY WITH THE PETER GRAVES WIG AND CHICKLETS TEETH. 

 

WHY'S HE SINGING?  WOULDN'T YOU BE IF YOU INVESTED $22,000 IN 2005 AND IT WAS NOW WORTH $60,000?

 

HOW HE'D GET SO LUCKY?  WHEN JERRY LEWIS WAS MADE CHAIR OF THE HOUSE APPROPRIATIONS COMMITTEE HIS FRIEND JAMES ROBISON WHO JUST HAPPENED TO BE THE CHAIRMAN OF THE SECURITY BANK OF CALIFORNIA SAID, "HEY JERRY?  YOU A BIG DOG NOW.  YOU SPREAD MY BUTTER, I SPREAD YOUR JAM.  COME ON JERRY, DO ME A SOLID."

 

WHICH IS HOW JERRY LEWIS, THE CHAIR OF THE HOUSE APPROPRIATIONS COMMITTEE OF THE UNITED STATES CONGRESS ENDED UP WITH "THE OPPORTUNITY TO BUY INTO SECURITY BANK OF CALIFORNIA".

 

HE'S MONEY!  QUESTION NOW: IS HE THE NEXT REPUBLICAN TO BE PLAUGED WITH SCANDALS?

 

 

 

 

 

 

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THIS JUST IN! IN A SNIT, ALBIE TURNS ON BULLY BOY!

BULLY BOY PRESS - DC

 

THIS JUST IN!

 

IN A SNIT, ALBIE TURNS ON BULLY BOY!

 

TRICKED INTO BELIEVING THAT IT WAS DRESS UP DAY IN THE SENATE, ALBERTO GONZALES (ATTORNEY GENERAL AND INTERNATIONAL WINNER IN THE BILLIE JEAN KING LOOK-ALIKE CONTEST) STEPPED INTO THE SENATE TODAY AND WAS HAPPY TO SEE LINDSEY GRAHAM LOOKING VERY MUCH LIKE TRUMAN CAPOTE.

 

ALBIE LOVES DRESS UP. 

 

LOOKING AROUND, HE QUICKLY REALIZED, HOWEVER, THAT LINDSEY GRAHAM ALWAYS LOOK LIKE TRUMAN CAPOTE AND, THEN, THAT THIS WASN'T A DRESS UP DAY: THE SENATORS HAD LIED TO HIM JUST TO GET HIM TO TESTIFY!

 

MIFFED, PISSED AND ALL THE OTHER "-ED" WORDS, ALBIE THREW CAUTION THE WIND AND PUT THE BLAME ON BULLY, TELLING THE SENATE THAT THE OFFICE OF PROFESSIONAL RESPONSIBILITY HAD TO STOP THEIR PROBE INTO THE ILLEGAL, WARRANTLESS SPYING ON AMERICAN CITIZENS BECAUSE BULLY BOY WOULD NOT ALLOW IT TO GO FORWARD.

 

AS PEOPLE RECOVERED FROM THE BOMBSHELL, ALBIE GRABBED HIS TENNIS RACKET, STATED HE HAD A MIXED DOUBLES MATCH AND BEGGED OFF FROM FURTHER QUESTIONS.

 

 

 

 

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THIS JUST IN! EVAN BLAH ATTACKS HIS OWN! TRIES TO EAT 'EM!

BULLY BOY PRESS - DC

 

THIS JUST IN!

 

EVAN BLAH ATTACKS HIS OWN!  TRIES TO EAT 'EM!

 

HISTORICALLY THE MOST DIFFICULT THING FOR EVAN BLAH HAS BEEN DEALING WITH AN ADAM'S APPLE THAT LOOKS LIKE HE'S SWALLOWED A GOLF BALL. BUT THE SENATOR FORMERLY KNOWN AS BAYH SEEMS DETERMINED TO REPLACE JOE LIEBERMAN AS MOST USELESS MEMBER OF THE DEMOCRATIC PARTY.

 

EVAN BLAH PROVED THIS AFTERNOON THAT HE COULD "ZELL-BOY UP" AND GET READY FOR HIS FOX-TIME CLOSE UP BY FALSELY SLAMMING HIS PARTY FOR ABANDONING THE MIDDLE CLASS IN A PURSUIT OF "LOWER-INCOME AMERCIANS."

 

EVAN BLAH DEMONSTRATED YET AGAIN THAT THERE'S NO ROCK HE'S NOT WILLING TO EMERGE FROM AS HE REINFORCED A FALSE STEREOTYPE BETTER THAN HIS REPUBLICAN BRETHERN COULD.

 

WAGS SAY HIS 2008 SLOGAN WILL BE: "EVAN BLAH: NO BACK LEFT UNSTABBED."

 

 

 

 

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