Friday, September 08, 2006

THIS JUST IN! BULLY BOY SAYS "MY BAD"!

BULLY BOY PRESS & CEDRIC'S BIX MIX -- DC.


THIS JUST IN!

BULLY BOY SAYS, "MY BAD".

THE SENATE INTELLIGENCE COMMITTEE'S REPORT WAS RELEASED TODAY AND IT FOUND "NO EVIDENCE SADDAM HUSSEIN HAD A RELATIONSHIP WITH TERRORIST ABU MUSAB AL-ZARQAWI OR HIS AL-QAIDA ASSOCIATES BEFORE THE IRAQ WAR."

ON AUGUST 21ST, BULLY BOY STATED: "I SQUARE IT BECAUSE IMAGINE A WORLD IN WHICH YOU HAD SADDAM HUSSEIN WHO HAD THE CAPACITY TO MAKE A WEAPON OF MASS DESTRUCTION, WHO WAS PAYING SUICIDERS TO KILL INNOCENT LIFE, WHO HAD RELATIONS WITH ZARQAWI."

WHEN CONFRONTED TODAY, BULLY BOY FIRST ATTEMPTED FART HUMOR.

THEN HE SHRUGGED AND SAID "MY BAD" BEFORE RUSHING TO MAKE A SPEECH ONCE AGAIN FALSELY LINKING SADDAM HUSSEIN AND 9-11.



Recommended: "Iraq Snapshot"
"William Caldwell IV caught in the spin"
"Other Items"
"Bully Boy's still in his Dirty Depends"
"the mouse that purred for the bully boy"
"The al-Maliki Shuffle"
"Who bedded down with the Nazis?"
"THIS JUST IN! BULLY BOY & OSAMA -- COUSINS! IDENTICAL COUSINS!"


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Thursday, September 07, 2006

THIS JUST IN! BULLY BOY & OSAMA -- COUSINS! IDENTICAL COUSINS!

BULLY BOY PRESS - DC.
 
SPEAKING WITH CBS NEWS' KATIE COURIC, BULLY BOY WAS CAUGHT OFF GUARD WHEN A CLOSED CAPTION TECHNICIAN PROVIDED DECIPHERING TO HIS REMARKS.
 
EXAMPLE 1: WHEN BULLY BOY TOLD COURIC, "WELL, FIRST OF ALL, I DO THINK IRAQ IS A CENTRAL FRONT IN THE WAR ON TERROR AND SO DOES OSAMA BIN LADEN."
 
THE CLOSED CAPTION READ:  "I TALK TO OSAMA AT ALL HOURS!  WE'RE LIKE TWO TEENAGE GIRLS CHATTING AWAY ON THE PHONE, GIGGLING, WONDERING WHO WOULD STAND THE BETTER CHANCE WITH HOTTY KEN MEHLMAN!  THEN WE'LL GIGGLE SOME MORE AND THEN SING THE THEME TO THE PATTY DUKE SHOW.  WE'RE COUSINS!  IDENTICAL COUSINS!"
 
 
EXAMPLE 2: WHEN COURIC ASKED BULLY BOY FOR EXAMPLES OF INFORMATION GAINED FROM "HIGH VALUE TARGETS," HE RESPONDED: "RIGHT, WELL, FOR EXAMPLE, WE UNCOVERED A POTENTIAL ANTRAX ATTACK ON THE UNITED STATES.  OR THE FACT THAT KHALID SHEIKH MOHAMMAD HAD GOT SOMEBODY TO LINE UP PEOPLE TO FLY AIRPLANES, TO CRASH AIRLINES ON, I THINK, THE WEST COAST OR SOMEWHERE IN AMERICA.  AND THESE WOULD BE SOUTHEAST ASIANS.  IN OTHER WORDS WE'VE UNCOVERED CELLS."
 
THE CLOSED CAPTION READ: "OH CRAP!  DID I SAY ANTHRAX!  SUPPOSE ANYONE'S REMEMBERING THAT I NEVER FOUND THE GUY SENDING ALL THAT ANTHRAX RIGHT AFTER SEPTEMBER 11TH?  I BETTER REALLY START TALKING OUT MY ASS NOW.  SOUTHEAST ASIANS?  WHAT DOES THAT MEAN ANY WAY?  I REMEMBER HOW DADDY USED TO MAKE ALL THESE JOKES ABOUT YOKO ONO.  I'M TRYING REAL HARD NOT TO LAUGH RIGHT NOW.  WHEN MY MOUTH TWITCHES, THAT'S WHAT'S GOING ON.  I FEEL GASSY.  GOT TO TELL LAURA TO QUIT PUTTING THE REFRIED BEANS ON TOP OF EVERYTHING.  LIKE THE CHEESE CAKE.  WHO EVER HEARD OF PUTTING BEAN DIP ON TOP OF THE CHEESE CAKE?  BUT WHEN I SAID THAT TO HER SHE SAID, 'YOU KNEW WHEN I MARRIED YOU I WAS A FRITO LAY GIRL!'  OH CRAP, KATIE'S STARING AT ME.  DID SHE ASK A QUESTION?"
 
 
Recommended: "Iraq Snapshot"

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Wednesday, September 06, 2006

THIS JUST IN! BULLY BOY HOLLERS "I AM A CROOK!"

 
THIS JUST IN!
 
BULLY BOY HOLLERS "I AM A CROOK!"
 
IN PREPARATION FOR THEIR LAST ATTEMPT AT CAMPAIGN FOOL THE PEOPLE, THE G.O.P. HAS SCHEDULED "DIRTY DEPENDS" FOR THE ENTIRE MONTH OF SEPTEMBER AS THEY ATTEMPT TO SCARE AMERICANS INTO VOTING TO KEEP THEM IN THEIR CROOKED MAJORITY.
 
FIRST UP ON THE DIRTY DEPENDS TOUR, BULLY BOY ADMITS TO SECRET PRISONS -- AND THEY DON'T JUST MEAN THE CLOSET WITH THE HEAVY DOOR LAURA LOCKS HIM IN WHEN HE HITS THE SAUCE! 
 
DEMANDING THAT HIS SPEECH BE TELEVISED LIVE, BULLY BOY ADMITTED THAT THIS IS NOT A DEMOCRACY AND THAT WE NO LONGER OPERATE UNDER THE ASSUMPTION OF INNOCENT UNTIL PROVEN GUILTY.
 
INSTEAD BULLY BOY GLOATED AND BOASTED OF RIPPING THE CONSTITUTION TO SHREDS AS HE STUCK HIS UGLY ASS-FACE AT THE CAMERA AND DECLARED, "DIRTY DEPENDS!  DIRTY DEPENDS!  WE HAVE NO FRIENDS! SO WE WILL SCARE YOU!  WE WILL, WE WILL SCARE YOU!  SCARE YOU!  WE WILL, WE WILL SCARE YOU!  SCARE YOU!  WE WILL, WE WILL --"
 
STOMPING FROM THE PODIUM, BULLY BOY PURPOSEFULLY STOMPED ACROSS THE ROOM ON A CARPET ALBERT GONZALES HAD DESIGNED FOR THE EVENT USING SCRAPS FROM THE ORIGINAL U.S. CONSTITUTION. 
 
 
In NYC, Friday September 15, Saturday September 16 and Sunday September 17 (7:00 pm each night), The People Speak directed by Will Pomerantz and Rob Urbinati.  This is a workshop adaptation of Howard Zinn and Anthony Arnove's Voices of a People's History of the United States.  The workshop will take place at The Culture Project's Bleecker Street Theater on 45 Bleecker Street.  Tickets are ten dollars and can be ordered online here or here or purchased in person at the box office (box office does not take ticket orders). For those in NYC or that will be during those dates, click here for a map.  The presentation is part of the Impact Festival.
 
 
Recommended: "Iraq Snapshot"

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Tuesday, September 05, 2006

THIS JUST IN! BULLY BOY CONFESSES . . . TO WHAT?

 
THIS JUST IN! 
 
BULLY BOY CONFESSES . . . TO WHAT?
 
SURVEYING THE DAMAGE HE'S DONE WITH HIS ILLEGAL WAR IN IRAQ AND HIS LAUGHABLE WAR ON "TERRAH," BULLY BOY ANNOUNCED THE UNITED STATES WAS "SAFER BUT NOT SAFE."
 
THERE ARE TWO SCHOOLS OF THOUGHT IN CONVENTIONAL THOUGHT D.C. CIRCLES AS TO WHAT BULLY BOY MEANT BY HIS STATEMENT.
 
THE FIRST ARGUES THAT WITH LITTLE TO POINT TO PROUDLY ON HIS RESUME THEN OR NOW, BULLY BOY APPEARED TO BE CONFESSING WHAT SOME HAD LONG ACCUSED HIM OF: HE WASN'T REALLY INVOLVED THE TEXAS RANGERS AND HE DOESN'T REALLY KNOW BASEBALL.
 
ANYONE WHO DID WOULD GRASP THAT THERE IS NO "SAFER BUT NOT SAFE."  THERE IS "SAFE" OR THERE IS "YOU'RE OUT!" 
 
BY DECLARING THE UNITED STATES "SAFER BUT NOT SAFE" AS A RESULT OF HIS ACTIONS, BULLY BOY IS THOUGHT BY THE SECOND SCHOOL OF CONVENTIONAL WISDOME TO HAVE BEEN SEEKING SOME SORT OF NATIONAL UMPIRE (THE PEOPLE?) TO DECLARE HIM OUT.
 
LET THE IMPEACHMENT BEGIN.
 
 
 
 

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