Friday, August 11, 2006

PUNCH LINE PLEASE MICHAEL CHERTOFF

BULLY BOY PRESS & CEDRIC'S BIX MIX -  THE WACKY USA
 
A TWO PART JOKE.  PART ONE: THIS JUST IN! WHEN POLLS ARE BAD SCREAM "TERROR!"
 
TODAY? 
 
PUNCH LINE PLEASE:
 
 
Currently, we do not have evidence that there was, as part of this plot, any plan to initiate activity inside the United States or that the plotting was done in the United States
-- Michael Chertoff, who looks a great deal like the chihuahua dog in the "You quiero Taco Bell" commercials
 
AFTER ALARMING AMERICA.
 
 
Recommended: "Iraq Snapshot"


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Thursday, August 10, 2006

THIS JUST IN! WHEN POLLS ARE BAD SCREAM "TERROR!"

BULLY BOY PRESS - DC.
 
THIS JUST IN! 
 
WHEN POLLS ARE BAD SCREAM "TERROR!"
 
FOLLOWING THE PRESS CONFERENCE TODAY ON THE SO-CALLED TERRORISM THREAT, TONY SNOW, WHITE HOUSE FLACK AND PONY, SAT DOWN WITH THE BULLY BOY PRESS. 
 
WAS WHITE HOUSE PONY SNOW WORRIED ABOUT HIS OWN REPUTATION WHEN IT TURNED OUT THIS WAS ANOTHER 'SCARE THE PEOPLE' MOMENTS THAT THE BULLY BOY ADMINISTRATION HAS SO OFTEN RESTORTED TO?
 
"HELL NO," SAID TONY SNOW, MUNCHING ON SOME GRAINS WITH HIS MORNING COFFEE.  "YOU HEARD ME.  I SAID BELIEVE."
 
BELIEVE?
 
 
SO WHEN IT BLOWS UP HE CAN SAY HE ONLY SAID "BELIEVE."
 
BELIEVE:
 
*PLOT INVOLVED FLIGHTS FROM U.K. TO U.S.
*DIRECT THREAT
 
BELIEVE.
 
AS TONY SNOW SNORTED, IT'S NOT HIS FAULT THAT ALL THE PRESS IS RUNNING STORIES PRESENTING ALLEGATIONS AS TRUTHS.
 
TURNING TO LIGHTER TOPICS, THE WHITE HOUSE PONY SAID, "JOE LIEBERMAN." 
 
AFTER BREAKING THE ICE WITH THAT JOKE, TONY SNOW EXPLAINED THAT KARL ROVE DID NOT JUST CALL JOE LIEBERMAN ON ELECTION DAY, HE'S ADVISING HIM.
 
LEADING THE WHITE HOUSE PONY BACK TO HIS STALL, THIS REPORTER THEN WATCHED A FEW MINUTES OF CNN WITH HIM WHERE JOE LIEBERMAN SHOWED YET HOW AGAIN THAT HE PUTS THE "NARC" IN "SNARK" AS HE TRASHED PEACE ACTIVISTS, OTHER CANDIDATES AND ANY 1 NOT WILLING TO BE KISSED BY THE BULLY BOY.
 
LISTING OFF HIS WORRIES, JOE LIEBERMAN FORGOT HIS BIGGEST WORRY:  THAT JOE LIEBERMAN'S LOVE FOR JOE LIEBERMAN IS AS STRONG AS AMERICA'S HATE FOR JOE LIEBERMAN.
 
 
 


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Wednesday, August 09, 2006

THIS JUST IN! IT'S STILL ALL ABOUT JOE!

BULLY BOY PRESS & CEDRIC'S BIX MIX - HARTFORD, CONN.
 
THIS JUST IN!
 
IT'S STILL ALL ABOUT JOE!
 
DESPITE RECEIVING AN ASS KICKING OF TREMENDOUS PROPORTIONS,
JOE LIEBERMAN IS BOUND AND DETERMINED TO GET HIS MESSAGE OUT APPARANTLY NOT GRASPING THAT VOTERS HEARD HIS MESSAGE -- THEY JUST DIDN'T LIKE IT OR HIM.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
AS HE MADE THE PRESS ROUNDS TODAY, JOE LIEBERMAN WAS PRONE TO SELF-AGGRANDIZING PRONOUNCEMENTS SUCH AS THIS ONE: "FOR THE SAKE OF OUR STATE, OUR COUNTRY AND MY PARTY, I CANNOT AND WILL NOT LET THAT RESULT STAND."
 
LOOKING AT THE RESULTS OF LAST NIGHT'S CONNECTICUT PRIMARY WHERE NED LAMONT BENT JOE LIEBERMAN OVER HIS KNEE, PULLED DOWN LIEBERMAN'S PANTS, AND TOOK A BELT TO SOME NO-MENTUM BUTT, JOE LIEBERMAN DECIDES IT'S BETTER TO PRETEND LIKE HE JUST DIDN'T GET SPANKED IN FRONT OF THE WORLD. 
 
SO HE LOST THE PARTY NOMINATION.  SO WHAT?  HE CAN AND WILL RUN AS AN INDEPENDENT.
 
THAT'S THE ANSWER, HE THINKS.  IN FACT, HE'S ALREADY FIGURED OUT THE BIGGEST PROBLEM WITH HIS "MESSAGE" AND TAKEN CARE OF IT:  HE'S FIRED HIS CAMPAIGN MANAGER, HIS CAMPAIGN SPOKESPERSON "AND ASKED FOR THE REGISNATIONS" OF HIS ENTIRE CAMPAIGN STAFF.
 
IT'S EVERYONE ELSE'S FAULT.
 
NOT JOE LIEBERMAN!  EVERYONE ELSE.
 
WHEN THERE'S FAILURE, IT'S EVERYONE ELSE'S FAULT.
 
WHEN THERE'S GLORY (OR KISSES FROM THE BULLY BOY) TO BE GRABBED, IT'S ALL ABOUT JOE.
 
 
 
 
Recoommended: "Iraq Snapshot"


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Tuesday, August 08, 2006

JOE LIEBERMAN SUDDENLY CARES ABOUT THE DISENFRANCHISED!

BULLY BOY PRESS - CONN.

THIS JUST IN!

JOE LIEBERMAN SUDDENLY CARES ABOUT THE DISENFRANCHISED!


AFTER HAVING NOTHING TO SAY IN 2000 ABOUT THE AFRICAN-AMERICANS WHO WERE DISENFRANCHISED IN FLORIDA, JOE LIEBERMAN FINALLY WANTS TO TALK.

SEAN SMITH, JOE LIEBERMAN'S CAMPAIGN MANAGER, ADDRESSED REPORTERS WEARING HIS KARL ROVE FINEST AND DECLARED "VOTERS CANNOT GO TO OUR WEB SITE. THEY CANNOT ACCESS INFORMATION. IT IS A DELIBERATE ATTEMPT TO DISENFRANCHISE VOTERS."

NO, SEAN SMITH AND JOE LIEBERMAN, ACCESS TO A POLITICAL WEBSITE IS NOT "DISENFRANCHISEMENT."

WHEN QUESTIONED BY THIS REPORTER (WHO WAS ON THE GROUND IN FLORIDA DURING THE 2000 ELECTION AND RECOUNTS) SEAN SMITH GREW TESTY.

SMITH APPEARS TO BELIEVE THAT VOTERS IN IN CONNECTICUT ARE AS INDECISIVE AND UNINFORMED AS JOE LIEBERMAN -- WHICH WOULD EXPLAIN LIEBERMAN AND SMITH'S ALARM THAT CAMPAIGN MATERIAL (ON A MAN WHO HAS HELD THE SENATE SEAT SINCE 1988) WAS NOT AVAILABLE SO VOTERS WERE "DISENFRANCHISED".

A PORTLY MAN WHO SWORE HE WAS NOT KARL ROVE -- THOUGH HE LOOKED LIKE KARL ROVE AND EVERYONE CALLED HIM "KARL ROVE" -- STOOD NODDING HIS HEAD AND STROKING HIS BELLY SAYING, "I TAUGHT THAT BOY GOOD" AS HE NODDED AT JOE LIEBERMAN.

THE PORTLY MAN CONGRATULATED SEAN SMITH AND JOE LIEBERMAN ON THEIR LAST MINUTE DIRTY TRICK/PRESS SMEAR.



Recommended: "Iraq Snapshot"
"NYT: Paper of record files one report from Iraq"
"Other Items"
"Cynthia McKinney & other things (including Iraq)"
"Cindy Sheehan and Camp Casey"
"In the wall to wall coverage of Israel, Iraq falls off the map again"
"Like Breslin said, "In Case We All Forgot, Americans Are Still Dying In Iraq""
"I love KPFA but I can't take any more of this "THE ONLY STORY IS ISRAEL!""
"Jess's Summer Vegetable Blend in the Kitchen"

Monday, August 07, 2006

TROOPS CAN'T LEAVE IRAQ BUT BULLY BOY CAN RUN FROM CRAWFORD!

BULLY BOY PRESS - CRAWFORD, TX.

THIS JUST IN!

TROOPS CAN'T LEAVE IRAQ BUT BULLY BOY CAN RUN FROM CRAWFORD!

WHILE MAINTAINING THE U.S. SOLDIERS SHOULD CONTINUE TO BE WALKING TARGETS IN IRAQ WITH NONSENSE THAT TO WITHDRAW U.S. TROOPS WOULD BE "CUTTING AND RUNNING," BULLY BOY DID A LITTLE CUTTING AND RUNNING OF HIS OWN.

PICTURED BELOW IN A PHOTO OF HIS MORNING JOG, BULLY BOY'S SIMPLE JOG TURNED INTO A MAD DASH WHEN HE THOUGHT HE SAW CINDY SHEEHAN IN THE DISTANCE.








EVEN THE BELLY SHIRT HE WORE DIDN'T STOP HIM FROM SWEATING LIKE A PIG WHEN HE THOUGHT CINDY SHEEHAN MIGHT BE AROUND.

SO IT'S PROBABLY A GOOD THING THAT THE CHICKEN PRINCE WHO MADE OUT LIKE BUNNY-FU-FU SCAMPERING AROUND THE NATION ON 9-11 IS PLANNING ON LEAVING CRAWFORD AUGUST 10.

WHILE BULLY ON THE RUN CAN'T FACE THE WOMAN WHO LOST HER SON IN HIS ILLEGAL WAR, HE EXPECTS U.S. TROOPS TO CONTINUE SERVING AS WALKING TARGETS BECAUSE, AS HE PUT IT, "I CAN'T TALK! I CAN'T TALK! I KNOW THAT SHEEHAN WOMAN IS AROUND HERE SOMEWHERE! HELP ME HIDE! HELP ME HIDE!"







Recommended: "Iraq snapshot"
"And the war drags on"
"NYT: Continuing render Abeer Qasim Hamza invisible"
"Other Items"
"NYT: Dexy puts on his black gymnastic tights and plays Big Sis"
"Isaiah's The World Today Just Nuts 'Bully Boy on the Run'"
"NYT: Rendering Abeer Qasim Hamza invisible again"
"Jess' Summer Vegetable Blend in the Kitchen"
"Friday night"
"Law and Disorder on tasers, Iraq"
"Bully Boy on the run but the press is too busy playing Red Cross"
"Law and Disorder, Three Cool Old Guys, Iraq"
"Quick Saturday post"