Friday, June 30, 2006

THIS JUST IN! WHERE THERE IS GREED, THERE IS BULLY BOY

BULLY BOY PRESS - MEMPHIS.

THIS JUST IN!

WHERE THERE IS GREED, THERE IS BULLY BOY!

LIKE THE DEVIL WHO WENT DOWN TO GEORGIA, BULLY BOY WENT DOWN TO GRACELAND AND PROVED THE BULLY IS ALIVE EVEN IF THE KING DIED.

MAKING NICE WITH BULLY BOY AND JAPAN'S OUTGOING PRIME MINISTER
JUNICHIRO KOIZUMI WERE ELVIS' DAUGHTER LISA MARIE -- WHO TRADED HUMANITY FOR PROFESSIONAL FREAK IN HER 'MARRIAGE' TO MICHAEL JACKSON -- AND HIS FORMER CHILD BRIDE PRISCILLA PRESLEY -- WHO IS A LIVING, BREATHING EXAMPLE OF EVERY JOKE EVER CRACKED ON CHER.

WHAT'S NOT TRUE OF CHER, BUT EASILY REPEATED, IS TRUE OF PRESLEY WHO NO LONGER LOOKS LIKE SHE'S A MEMBER OF THE HUMAN RACE DUE TO A RED-PINK HAIR COLOR THAT APPEARS TO HAVE BLED INTO HER SCALP AND OLD LADY CHIN DESPITE OBVIOUS ATTEMPTS TO DEFY WRINKLES.

REMEMBERING HER CROSS, BUT POSSIBLY FORGETTING HER BRA, AT 61 SHE CONTINUES TO DEMONSTRATE THAT SHE IS THE WOMAN WHO LEFT ELVIS -- NOT THE WOMAN WHO LOVES HIM.

IN YET ANOTHER ATTEMPT TO CHURN OUT A FEW MORE BUCKS FOR THE ESTATE, PRESLEY SHUCKED AND JIVED WITH THE BULLY BOY AND POCKETED A NICE SUM OF MOOLA IN THE PROCESS.

IF THE REALLY BAD ATTEMPTS OF THE JAPANESE PRIME MINISTER TO SING SOME OF THE MOST OBVIOUS HITS OF ELVIS PRESLEY WEREN'T INSULTING ENOUGH, THERE WAS ELVIS' MONEY GRUBBING EX-WIFE AND DAUGHTER, GIGGLING.

THE KING IS DEAD. THE BUZZARDS CONTINUE TO PICK THE CORPSE CLEAN. BULLY BOY GRINS.


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Thursday, June 29, 2006

THIS JUST IN! CONDI TRIES OUT THE NAH-NAH DIPLOMACY

 
THIS JUST IN!
 
 
INSPIRED BY THE NAH-NAH SISTERHOOD, CONDI RICE DECIDED TO PRACTICE HER OWN VERSION OF NAH-NAH DIPLOMACY WINNING SHOUTS OF "YOU GO, GIRL!" FROM MAD MADDY ALBRIGHT.
 
DROPPING THE TITLE OF SECRETARY OF STATE, CONDI WENT WITH "HOLLA BACK GIRL!" AS SHE DROPPED THE BOMB ON RUSSIA'S SERGEI LAVROV.
 
FOREIGN MINISTER LAVROV AND HOLLA BACK GIRL CONDI HAD A THROW DOWN BEHIND CLOSED DOORS BUT FORGOT TO TURN OFF THE MIKES. 
 
EMERGING TO FACE THE CROWDS WITH HER USUAL PHONEY SMILE AND CLENCHED FISTS, HOLLA BACK LISTENED WHILE LAVROV SPOKE OF THE CHANGES HE HAD WITNESSED IN THE UNITED STATES SINCE FIRST VISITING IN 1979.
 
SOMEBODY CALL THE PO-PO COZ CONDI WAS FLASHING ATTITUDE.
 
"SO WHEN DID YOU GO AND WHERE DID YOU GO IN THE UNITED STATES IN 1979 THAT YOU SAW SO MUCH CHANGE?"  ASKED HOLLA BACK DOING THE NECK AND HEAD COMBO MADE FAMOUS BY MANY IN THE AUDIENCE OF A JERRY SPRINGER SHOW.
 
NAH-NAH DIPLOMACY, MAKING THE WORLD A LITTLE WORSE FOR ALL OF US.
 
 


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Wednesday, June 28, 2006

THIS JUST IN! BULLY BOY LAND TO REDRAW BORDERS!

BULLY BOY PRESS - DC.
 
THIS JUST IN!
 
BULLY BOY LAND TO REDRAW BORDERS!
 
WITH THE NEW COLONIAL OUTPOST CONTINUING TO STRUGGLE, BULLY BOY LOOKS INWARD AND NOT OUTWARD.
 
JUST HOURS AGO, THE SUPREME COURT RULED IN BULLY BOY'S FAVOR FOR WHAT MAY BE HIS GRANDEST SCAM: REDISTRICTING.
 
WITH THE COURT UPHOLDING "MOST OF THE PRO-REPUBLICAN TEXAS CONGRESSIONAL MAP," PHASE II IS NOW READIED.
 
FROM HIS PLAY-RANCH IN CRAWFORD, BULLY BOY IS EXPECTED TO SPEND MOST OF HIS AUGUST VACATION REDRAWING BORDERS SO THAT TEXAS, SOON TO BE RENAMED "BULLY BOY LAND," WILL, VIA REDISTRICTING, SHORTLY EXTEND: CALIFORNIA TO FLORIDA, FROM TEXAS TO MICHIGAN, FROM ALASKA TO HAWAII -- UNTIL THE ENTIRE COUNTRY IS PART OF THE SOON TO BE RENAMED STATE OF "BULLY BOY LAND."
 
WITH ONLY 1 STATE TO DEAL WITH, BULLY BOY EXPECTS CONGRESS TO BE MUCH MORE WILLING TO TAKE ORDERS FROM HIM.  THE SENATE WILL NOW HAVE 2 MEMBERS AND VICE PRESIDENT DICK CHENEY WILL CONTINUE TO HOLD THE TIE BREAKING VOTE.  ALBERTO GONZALES WILL BE SKIPPING THE SEMI-FINALS OF THE NEXT BILLIE JEAN KING LOOK-ALIKE CONTEST AS HE EXPLORES HOW TO REDUCE THE HOUSE OF REPRESENATIVES DOWN TO 1 MEMBER ONLY. 
 
BIG OIL HAS TOLD THEM THEY CAN LIVE WITH 3 BUT WOULD PREFER TO CUT EXPENSES BY ONLY SUBSIDIZING 1 MEMBER OF THE HOUSE.
 
 
 
 
 


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Tuesday, June 27, 2006

THIS JUST IN! BULLY BOY CAUGHT SMELLING THE JONESES!

BULLY BOY PRESS - DC.
 
THIS JUST IN!
 
BULLY BOY CAUGHT SMELLING THE JONESES!
 
WHILE THE WHITE HOUSE CONTINUES TO MAKE NOISE ABOUT TRYING THE PRESS WITH ESPIONAGE OVER THE DISCLOSURE OF YET ANOTHER ILLEGAL BULLY BOY PROGRAM, BULLY BOY PRESS BREAKS THE LATEST SPYING BLOCKBUSTER THAT OTHER PRESS OUTLETS REFUSE TO TOUCH.
 
MUST CREDIT BULLY BOY PRESS.
 
BULLY BOY PRESS HAS LEARNED THAT JOHN AND JANET SMITH OF DUNNELLON, FLORIDA WERE AMONG THE LATEST TO BE TARGETED.  THE RETIRED AND ELDERLY COUPLE RETURNED TO THEIR HOME AT THE VILLAGES OF RAINBOW SPRINGS ON 8625 S.W. 200TH CIRCLE ONLY TO FIND BULLY BOY AND ALBERTO GONZALES DIGGING THROUGH THE PERSONAL BELONGINGS.
 
"I COULDN'T BELIVE IT," SAYS JANET SMITH.
 
"I WAS LOOKING AT THE BULLY BOY SNIFFING MY BOXERS AND THINKING, 'NO ONE WILL EVER BELIEVE ME!'"
 
"FORTUNATELY," JANET SMITH EXPLAINS, "WE HAD OUR 12 YEAR-OLD GRANDSON DION WITH US AND HE HAD HIS T-MOBILE SDA."
 
"THE KID STARTS SNAPPING PICTURES," JOHN SMITH EXPLAINS, "THEN WE ALL GOT THE HECK OUT OF THERE.  THOSE PEOPLE ARE CRAZY!"
 
 
BELOW IS ONE OF THE PHOTOS DION SMITH SNAPPED OF BULLY BOY AND ALBERTO GONZALES AFTER THEY ILLEGALLY ENTERED HIS GRANDPARENTS HOME.  IT DOES NOT APPEAR THAT THEY ARE LOOKING FOR TERRORISTS, BUT JUDGE FOR YOURSELF.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 


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Monday, June 26, 2006

THIS JUST IN! A SMELL WAFTS IN AND BULLY BOY POINTS TO OTHERS!

BULLY BOY PRESS - DC.
 
THIS JUST IN!
 
A SMELL WAFTS IN AND BULLY BOY POINTS TO OTHERS!
 
TODAY IN DC, WHILE MEETING WITH GROUPS WHO DO NOT SUPPORT THE TROOPS.  NOT ONLY DO THESE GROUPS WANT THE TROOPS TO CONTINUE TO FIGHT BULLY BOY'S ILLEGAL WAR, THEY ARE ALSO A DEFENSE DEPARTMENT FRONTED FAUX GROUP (WHICH TERENCE HUNT FORGOT TO TELL HIS READERS).
 
"THE DISCLOSURE OF THIS PROGRAM IS DISGRACEFUL," THE BULLY BOY WHINED JABBING HIS FINGER WILDLY IN AN ATTEMPT TO APPEAR FORCEFUL.
 
 
 
SO AS THE FOUL SMELL WAFTS THROUGH THE ROOM HE PLAYS DUMB AND POINTS TO THE PRESS INSISTING,  "THEY DID IT!"
 
INSTEAD OF WHINING, BULLY BOY WOULD DO WELL TO REMEMBER THE RULE:
 
HE WHO SMELT IT, DEALT IT.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 


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