The Daily Jot: 2006-08-20

Saturday, August 26, 2006

THIS JUST IN! BULLY BOY POUTS, DICK LAUGHS!

BULLY BOY PRESS & CEDRIC'S BIX MIX - DC & MAINE.

THIS JUST IN!

BULLY BOY POUTS, DICK LAUGHS!

MUST CREDIT BULLY BOY PRESS & CEDRIC'S BIX MIX.

AS THE LEAST WORKING MAN IN THE GOVERNMENT GEARED UP FOR HIS LATEST VACATION, HE WAS A GIDDY BULLY BOY.

HE WOULD BE IN MAINE AND HE COULD GO FISHING -- JUST THE THOUGHT OF KILLING SOMETHING GOT HIM GIDDY.

VICE PRESIDENT DICK CHENEY HAD TOLD HIM THEY NEEDED TO TALK ABOUT SOMETHING BEFORE BULLY BOY LEFT FOR VACATION.

DICK CHENEY FLASHED THE ASSOCIATED PRESS STORY AT HIM ENTITLED

"ARMY OFFICER RECOMMENDING TRIAL FOR FORT LEWIS SOLDIER WHO REFUSED TO GO TO IRAQ."

LOOKING AT THE HEADLINE AND PHOTO, BULLY BOY GIGGLED, STAMPED HIS FEET, AND LET A LITTLE PEE LOOSE IN THE FRONT OF HIS BVDS.

DICK CHENEY SUPPRESSED A CHUCKLE AS HE ASKED THE BULLY BOY IF HE READ THE ARTICLE.

SHAKING HIS HEAD NO, BULLY BOY BEGAN SCANNING QUICKLY AND READING ALOUD: "HIS RECOMMENDATION GOES TO WATADA'S BRIGADE COMMANDER, COL. CYNTHIA MURPHY, AND TO LT. GEN JAMES DUBIK, FORT LEWIS' COMMANDER, WHO HAS FINAL SAY ON WHETHER WATADA SHOULD STAND TRIAL, MATTHEWS SAID. WHILE EXAMINING THAT ISSUE, COL. MURPHY AND LT. GEN. DUBIK WILL ALSO BE REVIEWING THE CHARGES OF DESERTION AGAINST THE BULLY BOY WHO WENT AWOL FROM THE TEXAS NATIONAL GUARD AND NEVER FULFILLED HIS CONTRACTUAL COMMITTMENT. COL. MURPHY AND LT. GEN. DUBIK COULD RECOMMEND ANYTHING FOR THE BULLY BOY FROM DISMISSAL OF THE CHARGES TO A GENERAL COURT-MARTIAL."

"THEY COULD COURT-MARTIAL ME?" BULLY BOY ASKED.

"AFRAID SO," DICK CHENEY SAID STARING AT THE CARPET.

"OH MY GOD! OH MY JESUS! OH MY ROVE!" BULLY BOY EXCLAIMED PACING MADLY. "WHAT AM I GOING TO DO?"

"NOTHING YOU CAN DO," DICK CHENEY SAID. "JUST TRY TO ENJOY YOUR VACATION."

AS BULLY BOY CONTINUED PACING, DICK CHENEY WALKED OUT OF THE OVAL OFFICE, CLOSED THE DOOR.

"DID HE FALL FOR IT?" ASKED AN EXCITED CONDI RICE.

"DOES A DIEBOLD MACHINE REGISTER REPUBLICAN VOTES?" DICK CHENEY REPLIED.

HIGH-FIVING, THE TWO BURST INTO LAUGHTER AS CONDI RICE CONGRATULATED DICK CHENEY ON ANOTHER "MOST EXCELLENT" PRACTICAL JOKE.

Recommended: "Iraq Snapshot"

"And the war drags on"
"'British Leave Iraqi Base; Milita Supporters Jubilant' (Amit R. Paley)"
"Other Items"

"On Our Vacation, Thomas Friedman Got Burned"

"thoughts on the bully boy with the emphasis on 'boy'"

"Vets worry the draft's coming back, Zogby obsesses over Tom Cruise"

"Bob Herbert disappoints"

"THIS JUST IN! BULLY BOY'S HIRING PROCESS NEEDS BASIC TRAINING!"

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Thursday, August 24, 2006

THIS JUST IN! BULLY BOY'S HIRING PROCESS NEEDS BASIC TRAINING!

BULLY BOY PRESS - DC.

THIS JUST IN!

BULLY BOY'S HIRING PROCESS NEEDS BASIC TRAINING!

CONVICTED IN JUNE, DAVID SAFAVIAN NOW WANTS TO PULL AN EXCUSE BREAK.

SAFAVIAN HAD BEEN THE CHIEF OF STAFF OF THE GENERAL SERVICES ADMINISTRATION UNTIL SLAP-AND-TICKLE OF THE FINANCIAL SORT BETWEEN SAFAVIAN AND JACK ABRAMOFF WENT PUBLIC QUICKER THAN A CELEB BUSTED IN A MEN'S ROOM JOHN WHILE ENGAGING IN ORAL.

SAFAVIAN DOES NOT DENY GUILT AS HE ATTEMPTS TO APPEAL HIS CONVICTION. WHAT HIS LAWYER ARGUES IS THAT SAFAVIAN "WASN'T LYING BECAUSE THE WORDING WAS AMBIGUOUS" AND NO 1 EVER TOLD SAFAVIAN THAT THERE WERE "CONSEQUENCES OF LYING".

HOPEFULLY, THE BIG HOUSE HE'S HEADED TO WILL HAVE MANY COPIES OF ABC AFTER SCHOOL SPECIALS SO THAT DAVID SAFAVIAN CAN LEARN THAT LYING IS WRONG.

AS A PUBLIC SERVICE TO HELP AID SAFAVIAN'S EDUCATION, BULLY BOY PRESS WOULD LIKE TO POINT OUT THAT THE FOLLOWING ALSO HAVE HARMFUL CONSEQUENCES:

*STEALING

*KILLING

*VOTING FOR THE BULLY BOY

WE WOULD ADVISE SAFAVIAN NOT TO DO ANY OF THE ABOVE AND, IF IT'S TOO LATE, WE WOULD ADVISE HIM TO CEASE THE ACTIVITIES POST HASTE.

Recommended: "Iraq snapshot"

"NYT: Plays 'who matters?' (the same game J. M. Laughner played)"

"Other Items"

"house cleaning and preparing for the future "
"Abeer and who's trying to get the military into the Sudan?"
"Who thinks for you? (It should be you)"

"Bob Watada and more from the Snapshot"

"Crunch time for Bully Boy (humor)"
"Roll up your sleeves and get to work on getting the word out "

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Wednesday, August 23, 2006

THIS JUST IN! BULLY BOY IN A TIME CRUNCH!

BULLY BOY PRESS & CEDRIC'S BIX MIX - DC.

THIS JUST IN!

BULLY BOY IN A TIME CRUNCH!

ON THE 1ST ANNIVERSARY OF THE DESTRUCTIVE HURRICANE KATRINA, BULLY BOY DUSTS OFF HIS IRAQ SPEECH AND CAUTIONS THAT PEACE -- OOPS! REBUILDING TAKES TIME.

BULLY BOY KNOWS ALL ABOUT TIME, HAVING SPENT OVER 365 DAYS OF HIS 6 YEARS IN THE OVAL OFFICE ON VACATION.

BULLY BOY TAKES TIME. RECOVERY YOU JUST ROLL YOUR SLEEVES UP AND GET TO WORK.

BUT WORK IS A FOREIGN CONCEPT TO BULLY BOY.

AND LIKE A DRUNKEN FRAT BOY WAKING UP HUNG OVER AND A 1/2 HOUR LATE FOR A FINAL, HE'S IN A PANIC.

Recommended: "Iraq Snapshot"
"Bob Watada on KPFA's The Morning Show today"
"NYT: Iraq coverage slips right out of the paper"
"Al Harrington, John McCain, Iraq"
"joker jeff defends his 'girl' who leaves the audience with a wrong impression"
"My Home Tower (Records)"
"Where's the focus?"
"The hit squad that tried to silence truth tellers"
"THIS JUST IN! THANK GOD JOHN MCCAIN KNEW IT WASN'T A DAY AT THE BEACH!"

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

THIS JUST IN! THANK GOD JOHN MCCAIN KNEW IT WASN'T A DAY AT THE BEACH!

BULLY BOY PRESS - COLUMBUS, OHIO.

THIS JUST IN!

THANK GOD JOHN MCCAIN KNEW IT WASN'T A DAY AT THE BEACH!

SPEAKING IN COLUMBUS TODAY, THE LATE TALKING EXPRESS CREAKED INTO THE STATION AND JOHN MCCAIN GULPED DOWN HIS WHEATIES AND OFFERED THE STRONGEST CRITIQUE AGAINST THE BULLY BOY HE'S BEEN ABLE TO MUSTER SINCE 2000.

NOTING THAT THE AMERICAN PEOPLE WERE LIED TO WITH SILLY SLOGANS (MCCAIN LISTED "STUFF HAPPENS," "MISSION ACCOMPLISHED," "LAST THROES" AND "A FEW DEAD-ENDERS") JOHNNY MCCAIN CLEARED HIS THROAT AND BLAMED THE TALK, WHOSE ORIGIN HE NEVER IDENTIFIED, FOR AMERICAN'S NOT GRASPING THAT THIS 'TWAS NO CAKEWALK.

"BECAUSE THEY [AMERICANS] WERE LED TO BELIEVE THIS COULD BE SOME KIND OF DAY AT THE BEACH, WHICH MANY OF US FULLY UNDERSTOOD FROM THE BEGINNING WOULD BE A VERY, VERY DIFFICULT UNDERTAKING."

"OH THANK GOD," SEVERAL REPORTERS SIGHED UNDER THE BREATH.

FOR THE ONLY THING WORSE THAN JOHN MCCAIN THINKING IT WAS A DAY AT THE BEACH WAS PICTURING HIM ACTING OUT THAT FANTASY -- JOHN MCCAIN IN A SPEEDO IS ALMOST AS FRIGHTENING AS THAT 2004 MOMENT IN PENSACOLA, FL. WITH THE WHOLE WORLD WATCHING AS HE AND BULLY BOY WRAPPED THEIR ARMS AROUND EACH OTHER BEFORE BULLY BOY BEGAN KISSING JOHN-O ON EITHER SIDE OF THE FACE.

Recommended: "Iraq snapshot"
"NYT: Jim Rutenberg declares, 'I'm ready for my panel, Mr. Russert'"
"Other Items"
"Robin Morgan addresses war and Abeer Qassim Hamza al-Janabi while Mother Jones offers Judith Miller jokes"
"jeff the joker e-mails"
"Iraq"
"Iraq and last week's speech"
"Condi Rice stars in Little Miss Sunshine"
"The Peace Movement's Secret Weapon"

Monday, August 21, 2006

THIS JUST IN! MAMA'S LITTLE PRINCE JUST NEEDED SOME BABYING!

BULLY BOY PRESS - DC.

THIS JUST IN!

MAMA'S LITTLE PRINCE JUST NEEDED SOME BABYING!

A FIESTY BULLY BOY FACED THE PRESS TODAY. JABBING HIS FINGER IN THE AIR, HIS NEW FAVORITE MOVE, BULLY BOY BABBLED ON SEMI-INCOHERENTLY FOR THE MOST PART.

DURING MOMENTS WHERE HIS WORDS WERE UNDERSTANDABLE, HE DECLARED, "I HEAR A LOT OF TALK ABOUT CIVIL WAR. I'M CONCERNED ABOUT THAT, OF COURSE. WE'RE NOT LEAVING SO LONG AS I'M THE PRESIDENT. THAT WOULD BE A HUGE MISTAKE. LEAVING BEFORE THE JOB IS DONE WOULD BE A DISASTER."

TOUGH, IF FUMBLING WORDS, FROM A LITTLE CRY BABY WHOM THE PRESS SNAPPED YESTERDAY SEEKING MOMMY'S SOOTHING AS SEEN BELOW.