BULLY BOY PRESS - DC.
THIS JUST IN!
TRANSLATIONS FRIGHTEN THE BULLY BOY!
POSSIBLY EXPLAINING THE FAILURES OF THE FBI TRANSLATION DEPARTMENT, BULLY BOY DECLARED HIMSELF FRIDAY AS AGAINST THE SINGING OF THE NATIONAL ANTHEM IN SPANISH.
WHEN ASKED WHY, BULLY BOY REPLIED, "PEOPLE GOT TOO MUCH . . . TOO MUCH UNDERSTANDINGS. WE GOT TOO MUCH UNDERSTANDINGS GOING ON. WHAT WE HAVE HERE IS A FAILURE TO MISCOMMUNICATE. TOO MUCH UNDERSTANDINGS. WE LET THIS ONE SLIDE BY AND PRETTY SOON 'SWEET HOME ALABAMA' BECOMES 'SWEET CASA JUAREZ.' WHERE DOES IT END? IT'S LIKE WHEN I GO TO TACO BELL. I WON'T ORDER A 'BURRITO.' I ASK FOR THE 'WRAP AROUND.' IT'S ABOUT BEING AMERICAN. OR LIKE WHEN I DRINK A
. . . WHEN I USED TO DRINK. I WON'T ORDER A 'MARGARITA.' I ASK FOR, I ASKED FOR A SLURPEE WITH ALCOHOL. IT'S ABOUT SAVING THE CULTURE. THIS COUNTRY WAS BUILT UPON SAVING CULTURE. THAT'S WHY WE STOOD UP TO THE INJUNS. IMAGINE IF WE HADN'T DONE THAT. WE'D ALL BE SPEAKING LAKOTANEESE RIGHT NOW."
BULLY BOY ALSO SPOKE OUT AGAINST THE MAY 1ST BOYCOTTS AND WORK STOPPAGE.
"IF PEOPLE STOP WORKING FOR A DAY," HE EXPLAINED, "WE MIGHT HAVE LESS CARS ON THE ROAD. THAT COULD CREATE AN ENERGY CRISIS. I'M DEALING WITH GLOBAL WARMING BY REDUCING THE EMISSIONS LAWS. PEOPLE NEED TO DEAL WITH THE RISING PRICE OF GAS BY GOING ABOUT THEIR DAILY BUSINESS IN AS MANY CARS AS POSSIBLE. GET ON THE ROAD, DRIVE TO WORK. DRIVE FROM WORK. DRIVE AROUND YOUR CITY. USE THE GAS. THAT'S HOW WE CONFRONT AN ENERGY CRISIS. ME AND DICK [CHENEY] ARE SERIOUSLY DISCUSSING USING NUKES ON PEOPLE WHO RIDE BUSES. IF WE DON'T CONFRONT THE ENEMY IN FRONT OF US, HE MIGHT SNEAK UP BEHIND US. DICK SAYS THEY GIVE WEDGIES AND WET WILLIES AND I AM THE LEADER OF THE FREE WORLD SO I'LL BE DADGUMMED IF ANY ONE'S GOING TO DO THAT TO ME. THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME. GOD BLESS AMERICA. VOTE FOR ME IN 2006. GOD BLESS YOU."
WHEN NEW WHITE HOUSE LAP DOG TONY SNOW WAS ASKED ABOUT THE "VOTE FOR ME IN 2006" COMMENT, HE REPLIED, "THE BULLY BOY IS ALWAYS RUNNING. HE IS A MAN OF ACTION. HE NEVER STOPS."
WHEN PRODDED FURTHER, WHITE HOUSE LAP DOG SNOW REFUSED TO CONCEED THAT THE BULLY BOY HAD MISPOKEN.
"OUR LEADER DOES NOT MISSPEAK," INSISTED SNOW. "THE PEOPLE MAY MISHEAR, BUT BULLY BOY NEVER MISSPEAKS. IN FACT IT IS THE PEOPLE WHO ARE TO BLAME FOR US BEING IN IRAQ. THEY MISHEARD. THE BULLY BOY DID NOT MISPEAK."
SOME WAGS ARE LABELING IT: "FOX COMES TO THE WHITE HOUSE."
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