THIS JUST IN!
JIMMY CRACK CORN CARVILLE MAKES ANOTHER WACKY DECISION!
THE SUPPOSED HUSBAND OF MARY MATALIN WAS SOUNDING LIKE THE BRIDE OF SIMON ROSENBERG YESTERDAY AS HE ISSUED A CALL FOR HOWARD DEAN TO STEP DOWN AS D.N.C. CHAIR.
APPARENTLY SOMEONE FORGOT TO TELL CRACK CORN CARVILLE THAT IN 2006, DEMS WON CONTROL OF BOTH HOUSES.
QUITE A DIFFERENCE FROM THE 2004 CAMPAIGN CRACK CORN CARVILLE ADVISED ON: JOHN KERRY'S FAILED RUN FOR PRESIDENT.
THOUGH IT'S GENERALLY FORGOTTEN, MERE DAYS AFTER THE ELECTION THERE WAS JIMMY CRACK CORN IN THE NEW YORK TIMES EXPLAINING HOW JOHN KERRY WAS DEFEATED BECAUSE OF THE CAMPAIGN -- YOU KNOW, THE THING CRACK CORN WAS SUPPOSED TO BE IN CHARGE OF.
ATTEMPTING TO MAKE SOME SENSE OF IT, THESE REPORTERS WENT OFF IN SEARCH OF THE BRAINS AND BEAUTY OF THE CARVILLE FAMILY, MARY MATALIN.
WHEN ASKED FOR COMMENT, MARY MATLIN (CODENAME 'MEAN MALICE') INFORMED THESE REPORTERS, "LOOK, HE'S STUPID. HE'S DUMB AS A DOOR KNOB ON A RUSTED, BUSTED BAYOU TRAILER WHICH, I BELIEVE, IS WHAT HE WAS RAISED IN. BUT LIKE I TELL OUR GIRLS, 'STUPID MEN MAKE THE BEST DATES AND HUSBANDS. THEY CAN NEVER OUTSHINE YOU AND THEY CAN NEVER WIN AN ARGUMENT. THEY'RE ALSO TOO DUMB TO CHEAT.' THAT STORY ALWAYS CHEERS UP THE GIRLS, CHEERS UP ME TOO. OH LORD . . . "
MATALIN WALKED OFF FOR A FEW MINUTES AND THEN RETURNED TO EXPLAIN THAT JIMMY CRACK CORN CARVILLE WAS ALL EXCITED THAT IT WAS "LIGHTNING INDOORS!"
"HE WAS FLIPPING THE LIGHT SWITCH," SHE EXPLAINED. "HONESTLY, IF HE HAD A TAIL, HE'D CHASE IT."
FROM THE TCI WIRE:
Starting with Ehren Watada -- the first commissioned officer to publicly refuse to deploy to Iraq. Last week, the US military announced they would move to court-martial Watada. The court-martial is expected to take place early next year. Last night, Watada appeared on CNN's Paula Zahn Now program. Speaking to Zahn, Watada explained how, as late as September 2005, he was willing to go to Iraq (and had volunteered to deploy with any unit) but "then I began findout out some things about how possibly that our government could have misled, not only the Congress, but also the public, and the world as to the reasons why we were going to Iraq, and there were never any weapons of mass destruction, there were never any ties to al Qaeda or ties to 9/11. And I just -- at that point, I personally felt very betrayed as a soldier, willing to put my life on the line and willing to order soldiers to do the same, that we were sent to go and fight a war were the reasons were falsified."
After Watada's appearance, Zahn had a panel discussion. Joshua Casteel noted "the Uniform Code of Military Justice tells us two things. One is that we have an obligation to obey all lawful orders, but we also have an obligation to disobey all unlawful orders, and -- which includes disobeying orders that are unlawful, even if they come from the President of the United States. Article Six, Paragraph Two of the United States Constitution dictates that treaties that the United States signs on to are to be considered the laws of the land, including among them, the Hague Convention on Land Warfare of 1899, the Neruember Principles, which in 1953, the Department of Defense declared to be official policy. And Justice Jackson, who's the chief . . ." Zahn interrupts to ask if Watada's stand is "justified." Castell replies, "He is one of the few examples of moral courage that we have in the midst of plenty of individuals who show physical courage to go to Iraq and sacrifice for their country. But what we need right now are moral leaders. And Lieutenant Watada is an example of the kind of leadership that reminds us of our better nature and the aspirations of the United States Constitution." Amy Goodman (co-host of Democracy Now!) noted that, "Thousand of soldiers are saying no. The Pentagon doesn't like to talk about this, but Lieutenant Ehren Watada being the first officer to refuse to deploy to Iraq is very significant." A third guest repeatedly interrupted Amy Goodman. For some stranger reason, he appeared to be wearing Mommy's Pantyhose on top of his head. He statements sounded as if they were indeed picked from the crack of his ass in his desperate attempt to unearth his brain. At present, his brain is still believed to be under many layers of s--t.
Meanwhile Gregg K. Kakesako (Honolulu Star-Bulletin) reminds that Watada is facing up to six years if he is convicted in the court-martial to be held next year.
Recommended: "Iraq Snapshot"
"Ehren Watada on CNN last night"
"Slow news day? WTF?"
"Iraq, the Who"
"A baby gas bag explains how (humor)"
"THIS JUST IN! BABY GAS BAG IGNORES IRAQ!"