Tuesday, December 05, 2006

THIS JUST IN! GATES ATTENDS A DEMOCRATIC SOCIAL!

 
 
DEMOCRATIC SENATORS APPEARED SEMI-AWAKE IN THE MORNING BUT BY NOON THEY ALL APPEARED TO NEED A NAP.
 
"NOT TRUE!" SNAPPED SENATE MAJORITY-ELECT HARRY REID.
 
"LOOK, WE JUST GOT TIRED OF EVERYTHING BEING BULLY BOY'S," HE EXPLAINED.  "HE GETS TO SPY ON AMERICANS ILLEGALLY, HE GETS TO WRECK THE ECONOMY.  WE'VE ANALYZED THE ELECTIONS AND THE AMERICAN VOTER WANTS TO SEE DEMOCRATS DO SOMETHING.  BY ROLLING OVER ON ROBERT GATES NOMINATION FOR DEFENSE SECRETARY, WE'VE JUST GRABBED THE ILLEGAL WAR!  IT'S NOT BULLY BOY'S WAR ALONE NOW!"
 
WHEN ASKED IF THAT WASN'T NECESSARILY A GOOD THING, HARRY REID APPEARED TO PANIC, SLAPPED HIS FOREHEAD AND RAN OFF CRYING.
 
 
 
 
Starting with the American troop fatality count.  On Sunday, ICCC made the call that 2900 US troops had died in Iraq since the start of the illegal war.  Yesterday, Sandra Lupien noted the 2900 mark on  The KPFA Evening News.  Today, Amy Goodman (Democracy Now!) notes: "The US death toll in the war has topped 2900."  CNN's counts 2,901 while also reporting 2899.   The latter figure is what the Defense Department goes with as well, 2899.  ICCC reports the number is 2906 (which is what we'll go with).
 
Does the number matter?  It should.  It should matter especially if you're appearing before Congress.  Robert Gates, who would like to replace Donald the Rumsfled as Secretary of Defense, cited another number: 2892.  Testifying today, he goes with 2892?  If this is Gates "on the ball," let's all worry.
 
KPFA's Larry Bensky and Aaron Glantz are anchoring the gavel-to-gavel coverage of Gates' confirmation hearing and it's being carried live on  KPFA, WBAI, KPFT, KPFK, KCFC and at
at the Pacifica website.  Those not in broadcast range can listen online at any of the links provided in the previous sentence. (And if you missed the live coverage, you can use the links for an archived broadcast.)  While Pacifica Radio covers the hearings live  NPR decided to 'hit hard' by covering the celebrity auction of Dick Clark. 
 
So along with grasping that Gates doesn't care enough about the job to use any accepted figure for the US military's fatality toll, what else have we learned?  Bob Dole did standup early on.  The former US senator was one of two walking Gates down the aisle.  Who gives Gates away?  Dole and Doren.  Dole told a joke about how the phone rang asking that "Senator Dole" introduce Gates and, too late, Bob Dole realized they meant Elizabeth Dole (his wife who is currently a US senator).  Having wowed 'em like he hasn't since he schilled for Pepsi with Britney Spears, Dole stepped aside for the Senate's own Norma Desmond:  David L. Boren.
 
Boren was supposed to be introducing Gates but instead seemed lost in the past, a murky one, that needed to be reclaimed unless we were are prepared to "ultimately destroy the fabric" of the country.  Boren couldn't shut up about the past including "15 years ago."  So let's take a look at the Senate when Boren still served on it. 
 
Boren did sometimes work with people on the other side of the aisles:  Democrats.  Though supposedly a Democrat, he was usually to be found triangulating with Republicans.  Boren's 'bipartisanship' resulted in many things, a greatest hits reel can't be provided here.  But two highlights.  Boren voted to confirm Clarence Thomas to the Supreme Court.  The country still suffers as a result.  Boren was among those who put "civility" above the truth regarding Iran-Contra and, it can be argued since many of the same players repeat today, that doing so implicates him in today's illegal war.
 
Possibly, he shouldn't grab that white Bible with his bloodied hands?  White Bible?  Oh, the one he used to publicly swear that he wasn't gay back when those rumors floated.  Today's heart-felt intro recalled a great deal of the drama of that 1979 moment. 
 
Robert Gates told Senator John Warner that he felt the Bully Boy wanted him "to take a fresh look and all options are on the table" regarding Iraq.  But some things do not require a "fresh look," apparently.  On the issue of remaining in Iraq, Gates stated that it seemed to him that the US would "have to have some presence in Iraq for a long time."  He then offered the WRONG number and mentioned a woman who approached him to declare, "I have two sons in Iraq.  For God's sake, bring them home safe." 
 
After that, it all got even zanier as there appeared to be a contest among Republicans to see who could look the most insane as they attempted to scare Americans and spin the illegal war.
 
 
Honorable mentions go to the following:
 
 
Jeff Sessions who declared both the need to "reach out and grasp each other's hands" (stay of the cloakroom) went even touchier-and-feelier, soaring into clouds that the laughable Peggy Noons (Noonan) couldn't even approach as he spoke of US troops who had died in Iraq: "I talked to their families.  I talked to those who lost their lives." 
 
No word as to whether "those who lost their lives" talked back to Jeff Sessions.
 
Pat Roberts wants the troops home but frets over how it could be done "the wrong way."    See, pulling them out too soon, bringing them home, could cause problems.  Such as?  Roberts didn't know.  He was suddenly discussing "sleeper cells in this country" and terrorists of a second generation.  If he truly believes there are "sleeper cells" in the United States, one would assume that the troops might be needed in the US.  But Roberts was busy trying to frighten America and that appeared to be the Republican game plan.
 
Joe Lieberman (officially billed these days as "Independent") attempted to work through his own issues, publicly, in front of the committee.  He warned of what could happen "if we end up leaving Iraq in chaos" because, apparently Joe Lieberman has missed the fact that Iraq is in chaos and has been.  "Bipartisanship" was a buzz word for NoMentum as well and he wanted the entire nation to band together to go after all the enemies he sees elsewhere in the world ("everybody around the world who wishes us evil") which demonstrated that Lieberman hasn't lost his sense of persecution. 
 
But the winner?  James Inhofe in the first round.  Inhofe's never met a fact he can't fudge or mangle.  His statements were concerned with pushing the illegal war except when he went into alarmist mode of Chinese computer hackers and raged that others (on the Senate?  in the United States?) "don't seem to read these, they don't seem concerned about this!"  What Inhofe was concerned primarily with was noting that "the mass graves [in Iraq], that's not taking place anymore."
 
Oh Inhofe, apparently you're not reading what you need to read.  November 30, 2006, the US military announced the discovery of a "mass grave" with 28 bodies in it.  And, no, it's not from the era of Saddam Hussein.
 
The Democrats? Evan Blah showed what a suck up he could be, Carl Levin probed and Hillary Clinton appeared to be setting up for the next round of questioning.  (The hearings are on a lunch break.  During that Pacifica will be offering analysis.)
 
The big news is supposed to be that Gates noted (the obvious fact) that the US isn't "winning."  (Nor can it, unsaid by Gates.)  What should be noted is how often he couldn't remark, he didn't know enough,  his "view is too uninformed," "I'm not well enough informed at this point to make a decision" blah, blah, blah.  This is the man who was sitting on the James Baker Circle Jerk, right?  He was tasked with recommendations the US should take re: Iraq, right?
 
Recommended: "Iraq Snapshot"

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