BULLY BOY PRESS - LONDON
THIS JUST IN!
IN LONDON FOR THE INTERNATIONAL BILLIE JEAN KING CONTEST, U.S. CHAMPION ALBERTO GONAZLES SPOKE TO THE PRESS.
WHEN ASKED WHAT PUT HIM AHEAD OF OTHER CONTESTANTS, ATTORNEY GENERAL GONZALES DECLARED THAT IF HE FEELS HE'S LOSING, "I CAN ALWAYS ARRANGE AN EXTRAORDINARY RENDENTION."
ASKED WHAT ELSE GAVE HIM A LEAD, MR. GONZALES SAID THAT HE WAS "FEARLESS" WHEN IT CAME TO NAME CALLING.
"THE NOTION THAT YOU CAN'T EMBARRASSOR INSULT SOMEONE, I WOULD QUESTION IF THAT MAKES SENSE TODAY," EXPLAINED ALBERTO GONZALES BEFORE YELLING "HEY KIM! IS THAT SUPPOSED TO BE A TENNIS SKIRT OR A MUSHROOM FUNGUS!" AT NORTH KOREAN BILLIE JEAN KING CHAMPION KIM JONG IL.
ATTORNEY GENERAL ALBERTO GONZALES WAS CLEARLY ENJOYING HIMSELF AS HE MODELED THE LATEST IN WOMEN'S SPORTSWEAR FROM
BALLE DE MATCH'S TENNIS & TEAM WEAR COLLECTION.
WHEN ASKED WHAT HE THOUGHT THE FUTURE HELD FOR HIM, MR. GONZALES RESPONDED, "THE INTERNATIONAL CROWN. NO ONE LOOKS MORE LIKE BILLIE JEAN KING THAN ME, NOT EVEN BILLIE JEAN KING. BUT AT SOME POINT ALL THIS ACCLAIM AND POWER HAS TO END. WHEN THAT DAY COMES, I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO QUIETER DAYS BEHIND BARS. I'D LOVE TO BE SENT SOMEWHERE LIKE GUANTANAMO. THEY HAVE STATE-OF-THE-ART MEDICAL CARE, HEALTHY MEALS CONSISTENT WITH THEIR CULTURAL AND RELIGIOUS REQUIREMENTS AND AN OPPORTUNITY TO OBSERVE RELIGIOUS BELIEFS."
"I'M ALWAYS PROMOTING IT," MR. GONZALES, ADDED. "I'M KIND OF LIKE THE SPOKESPERSON. BUT WHERE EVER I END UP, WHATEVER PRISON, I HOPE WE'LL ALL BE TOGETHER. ME, BULLY BOY, CONDI, DON RUMMY, DICK CHENEY, ALL OF US. AND THAT I CAN WEAR MY TENNIS SKIRTS. I HAVE SUCH PRETTY LEGS, DON'T YOU THINK?"
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