Monday, April 17, 2006

THIS JUST IN! VICE PRESIDENT DICK CHENEY IS FURIOUS!

BULLY BOY PRESS - DC.
THIS JUST IN!
VICE PRESIDENT DICK CHENEY IS FURIOUS!
"HOLLWOOD MAY HAVE ROBBED ME OF MY G*****N, F*****G OSCAR, BUT I'LL BE G*****N IF I'LL SHARE MY TUNE-TIME WITH THAT LITTLE MUTHA F****R!" NOTORIUS DICK WAS HEARD TO HOLLA.
DESPITE HIS OSCAR NOMINATION AND THE FACT THAT THE FILM WILL BE PLAYING SOON IN IRAN, BROKEDOWN DEMOCRACY BROUGHT NOTORIUS DICK NO NEW FILM OFFERS -- AND BEING 1/4 OF THE BULLIES AND THE TYRANTS ISN'T THE SAME AS BEING A SOLO ACT.
"HE'S JEALOUS," EXPLAINED DICKIE MYERS. "HE'S JUST JEALOUS. HE WON'T EVEN LET ME RECORD UNDER THE NAME 'DICK' SO I HAVE TO USE 'DICKIE."
MYERS, THE FORMER JOINT CHIEFS CHAIRMAN, IS NOW BARNSTORMING THE CHAT & CHEWS, SINGING A SONG HE HOPES IS A HUGE HIT.
EXPLAINING THAT IT WAS "INAPPROPRIATE" FOR EX GENERALS TO CRITICIZE SECRETARY OF DEFENSE DONALD RUMSFELD, DICKIE MYERS SMILED INTO THE CAMERA AND STATED, "THIS ONES IS FOR YOU DONNIE!"
AS THE CAMERA PULLED BACK, DICKIE STOOD BEHIND A FENDER COMTEMPO ORGAN WHICH HE BEGAN POUNDING ON. AS STROBE LIGHTS FLASHED AND SMOKE EFFECTS WAFTED, THREE WOMEN CAME OUT ON STAGE TO DANCE BEHIND HIM WHILE HE SANG:
Don't say nothin' bad about my baby
Oh, no
Don't say nothin' bad about my baby
I love him so
Don't say nothin' bad about my baby
Oh, don't you know
Don't say nothin' bad about my baby
He's good (he's good), he's good to me (good to me)
That's all I care about
Oh, no
AS DICKIE COMPLETED THE GERRY GOFFIN & CAROL KING CLASSIC, GEORGE STEPHANOPOULOS WALKED ON TO THE STAGE TO SHAKE DICKIE'S HAND AND EXPLAIN THAT DICKIE WOULD LIKE TO STAY LONGER BUT HAD TO RUSH TO THE NEXT STOP ON HIS TOUR.
"NO GRAVITAS," SNARLED ORIGINAL THUGSTER DICK CHENEY. "THE GUYS DON'T LIKE HIM, THE DOLLS KNOW THEY CAN BEAT HIM UP. I CAN EAT, CHEW UP AND THEN CRAP OUT THESE FRANKIE AVALON TYPES IN LESS THAN 10 MINUTES. GOTTA ROUGH NECK UP! YOU FEEL ME, YOU FEEL ME? HOLLA!"
Recommended: "And the war drags on"
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