BULLY BOY PRESS - DC.
THIS JUST IN!
BULLY BOY CUTS THE WHITE HOUSE LAP DOG LOOSE!
NO NOT BARNEY!
THE OFFICIAL LAP DOG, SCOTTY MCCLELLAN.
SCOTTY'S BEEN IN TROUBLE FOR SOME TIME AND BEEN SNAPPISH AS A RESULT. THERE WAS THE ARM WRESTLING WITH CONDI TO SEE TO SEE WHO GOT TO KEEP THE FIRST CODPIECE. THERE WAS THAT DRUNKEN WOMAN WHO KEPT SHOWING UP TO HECKLE THE BULLY BOY. BUT IF SCOTTY'S FATE WAS SEALED IT CAME WHEN BULLY BOY WENT TO CANADA AND MET SCOTT REID.
"WELL YOU GOT A PRETTY FACE," BULLY BOY TOLD REID GIVING HIM THE SLOW ONCE OVER. "YOU GOT A PRETTY FACE. YOU'RE A GOOD LOOKING GUY. BETTER LOOKING THAN MY SCOTT ANYWAY."
PRETTIER AND YOUNGER, MOST IMPORTANTLY, THINNER. BULLY BOY DON'T LIKE A FAT BOY.
SINCE THAT DAY, BULLY BOY'S BEEN SINGING HIS OWN VERSION OF JAMES TAYLOR'S "MONA:"
SCOTTY, SCOTTY
SO MUCH OF YOU TO LOVE
TOO MUCH OF YOU TAKE CARE OF
SCOTTY, SCOTTY
YOU GOT TOO BIG TO KEEP
AND TOO DAMN OLD TO EAT
SCOTTY LEFT THE WHITE HOUSE TODAY, TAIL BETWEEN HIS LEGS, WHIMPERING, "ALL OF US SERVE AT THE PLEASURE OF THE PRESIDENT."
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