Thursday, May 18, 2006

THIS JUST IN! DESPERATE CONGRESS MEMBERS!

BULLY BOY PRESS - DC.

THIS JUST IN!

DESPERATE CONGRESS MEMBERS!

WHILE MICHAEL HAYDEN'S GIRLISH, JOHN MCCAIN VOICE HELD THE ATTENTION OF THE SENATE INTELLIGENCE COMMITTEE, THINGS WERE HEATING UP ON THE SENATE JUDICIARY COMMITTEE.

ARLEN SPECTER, STILL LOOKING FOR THE MAGIC BULLET AFTER ALL THESE YEARS, DECIDED TO HOLD A VOTE ON A PROPOSAL HE DOESN'T SUPPORT: A BAN ON SAME-SEX MARRIAGE.

WHEN THE RIGHT, RIGHTEOUS RUSS CALLED HIM ON IT, SENATOR SPECTER PLAYED THE LOVER SPURNED.

"IF YOU WANT TO LEAVE, GOOD RIDDANCE!" SCREAMED ARLEN AS HE LOOKED FOR A KNICK KNACK TO THROW.

FINDING NONE, HE LEPT TO HIS FEET AND, IN HIS BEST NICOLETTE SHERIDAN, THREW HIS HEAD BACK, PUT HANDS ON HIPS AND SCREAMED, "YOU AIN'T ALL THAT, RUSS FEINGOLD! YOU AIN'T ALL THAT!"

IGNORING ARLAN'S ATTEMPT AT DESPERATE CONGRESS MEMBERS, RUSS FEINGOLD BLEW HIM OFF WITH A "SEE 'YA."

"HOW DARE HE!" SCREAMED AN ENRAGED ARLEN GRABBING FOR A PITCHER OF WATER AND THROWING IT TO THE FLOOR WHILE JOE BIDEN RUSHED OVER IMMEDIATELY, READY TO DELIVER A SERIES OF LENGTHY, PREPARED REMARKS. LINDSEY GRAHAM TOOK A FEW MINUTES TO SMOOTH HIS CRINOLINE PETTICOAT AND FINISH HIS MINT JULIP BEFORE STRUTTING OVER.

ARLEN WAS CRYING ON JOE'S SHOULDER. JOE HAD BEEN TALKING NONSTOP FOR 5 MINUTES. LINDSEY KNEW THE MILK TRAIN DIDN'T STOP HERE NO MORE.

"LET IT GO, ARLY," LINDSEY ADVISED.

"LET IT GO! HE HUMILIATED ME!" SCREAMED ARLEN. "HE WALKED ALL OVER ME! HE TREATED ME LIKE A TISSUE! USING ME AND THEN DISCARDING ME! WHO DOES HE THINK HE IS? JAMIE DENTON? DID YOU SEE HIM STOMPING OUT OF HERE? STOMPING ACROSS THE FLOOR LIKE HE STOMPED ACROSS MY HEART? STOMPING ACROSS THE FLOOR LIKE HE THOUGHT HE WAS DOING IT A FAVOR?"

WIPING THE TEARS FROM HIS EYES, ARLEN TOOK A DEEP BREATH, THEN LOOKED AROUND THE ROOM.

"IS ANYONE ELSE TURNED ON?" ARLEN ASKED.


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