BULLY BOY PRESS - DC.
THIS JUST IN!
NO BULLY BOY LEFT BEHIND!
WHITE HOUSE JOKE TONY SNOW ANNOUNCED THE WHITE HOUSE'S SUPPORT FOR MAKING ENGLISH THE LAW OF THE LAND.
"IF YOU TAKE A LOOK AT THE DATE, PEOPLE WHO LEARN ENGLISH TEND TO BE MORE PROSPEROUS (AND) TEND TO BE BETTER AT THEIR JOBS," TONY SNOW DECLARED AS HANDS SHOT UP IN THE PRESS CORPS.
JUST THEN BULLY BOY WALKED INTO THE BRIEFING ROOM AND WHISPERED INTO THE EAR OF A NODDING SNOW.
"LADIES AND GENTELMEN OF THE PRESS," SNOW STATED SMILING, "ON THE SUBJECT OF IMMIGRATION, THE BULLY BOY OF THE UNITED STATES WOULD LIKE TO SAY A FEW WORDS."
GRINNING, BULLY BOY STEPPED IN FRONT OF THE PODIUM, CLEARED HIS THROAT AND SAID, "I THINK IT'S REALLY IMPORTANT FOR THIS GREAT STATE OF BASEBALL TO REACH OUT TO THE PEOPLE OF ALL WALKS OF LIFE TO MAKE SURE THAT THE SPORT IS INCLUSIVE. THE BEST WAY TO DO IT IS TO CONVINCE LITTLE KIDS HOW TO . . . THE BEAUTY OF PLAYING BASEBALL!"
AS THE PRESS STARED AT THE BULLY BOY IN SHOCK, SNOW GULPED AND LOOKED AROUND NERVOUSLY.
WARMING TO THE QUIET IN THE ROOM, THINKING THEY WERE SPELL BOUND, BULLY BOY OFFERED THOUGHTS ON ANOTHER PROGRAM, "I'M GOING TO SPEND A LOT OF TIME ON SOCIAL SECURITY. I ENJOY IT. I ENJOY TAKING ON THE ISSUE. I GUESS, IT'S THE MOTHER IN ME."
AS SNOW STOOD PARALYZED, LIFE COACH KAREN HUGHES TOOK CONTROL OF THE SITUATION AND BEGAN STRIDING TOWARDS THE PODIUM.
"AH, LOOK, IT'S KAREN HUGHES," BULLY BOY SAID POINTING. "KAREN'S A WEST TEXAS GIRL, JUST LIKE ME."
KAREN HUGHES ANNOUNCED THAT THE BULLY BOY HAD TO LEAVE FOR AN IMPORTANT NAP AND A QUICK MEETING. WAVING AT EVERYONE AND BLOWING KISSES, BULLY BOY EXITED THE ROOM.
"JUST TO REPEAT," HUGHES DECLARED GRUFFILY, "THE WHITE HOUSE BELIEVES THAT PEOPLE WHO LEARN THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE TEND TO BE BETTER AT THEIR JOBS."
"KAREN HUGHES," CALLED OUT A WOMAN. "HELEN THOMAS, KING FEATURES SYNDICATE . A QUESTION. IF THE WHITE HOUSE BELIEVES LEARNING ENGLISH HELPS PEOPLE BE BETTER AT THEIR JOBS, WHEN DO THEY PLAN ON TEACHING ENGLISH TO THE BULLY BOY?"
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