BULLY BOY PRESS - DC.
THIS JUST IN!
DOES CONDI HEAR BELLS?
WHILE DICK CHENEY GEARS UP FOR HIS 'FREEDOM' TOUR (FULL TITLE: FREEDOM TO TORTURE! AS CROOKED AS I WANNA BE!) AND BULLY BOY ANTICIPATES HIS FLORIDA TRIP NEXT WEEK WHERE HE WILL PROMISE
EACH SENIOR WHO SIGNS UP TO HIS NEW MEDICARE PLAN 3 FREE CDS WITH THE AGREEMENT THAT THEY PURCHASE 92 MORE AT REGULAR COST OVER THE NEXT 3 YEARS, WHO'S WATCHING CONDI?
WAGS ARE WAGGING THAT CONDI RICE HAS FINALLY FOUND A MAN SHE HAS SOMETHING IN COMMON WITH.
WHO'S THE LUCKY JOE?
TEODORO OBIANG NGUEMA, THE PRESIDENT OF EQUATORIAL GUINEAN.
NO-ONE-COULD-HAVE-GUESSED-CONDI, AS FRIENDS CALL HER, IS AS SURPRISED AS ANYONE TO FIND HERSELF IN LOVE WITH TEODORO.
"WE'RE LIKE BRAD AND ANGELINA," SHE REPORTEDLY TOLD ONE FRIEND.
"WE JUST FIT. HE GETS ME. REALLY GETS ME. YOU KNOW HE'S SAID ON STATE RADIO THAT HE'S GOD. THAT REALLY TURNS ME ON IN A MAN! WHILE MOST OF THE PEOPLE IN HIS COUNTRY LIVE ON LESS THAN A DOLLAR DAY, HE'S WORTH OVER $300 MILLION! IT'S NOT THE MONEY, YOU UNDERSTAND, JUST THE CRUELTY FACTOR INVOLVED. THAT'S WHAT EXCITES ME."
DETERMINED TO KEEP TEODORO AWAY FROM SPURNED SUITER MARK THATCHER, CONDI'S KEEPING FRIENDS' AT ARMS LENGTH.
"SHE GOT TIRED OF SHARING," A FRIEND WHO IS NOT NAMED SCOTTY MCCLELLAN EXPLAINED.
CONDI'S BEEN OBSERVED TEACHING HIM TO SAY "YA'LL" AND "HOWDY." REPORTEDLY SHE'S GROOMING HIM TO RUN FOR GOVERNOR OF TEXAS "AND THEN THE WORLD!"
Recommended: "NYT: Stolberg's turn to slime immigrants"
"dynasty"
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