Tuesday, May 02, 2006

THIS JUST IN! BULLY BOY LAGGING!

BULLY BOY PRESS - DC.
THIS JUST IN!
BULLY BOY LAGGING.
AS OVER 1.5 MILLION AND MAYBE AS MANY AS 2 MILLION (OR MORE) TOOK PART IN THE IMMIGRATION DEMONSTRATIONS, RALLIES AND BOYCOTTS YESTERDAY, BULLY BOY'S BEEN HAVING TROUBLE GETTING THAT RUMORED "MOJO" BACK.
FIRST THERE WAS THE SLAP IN THE FACE FROM CONDI RICE AND THE STATE DEPARTMENT AFTER BULLY BOY MANGLED THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE WHILE SUGGESTING THAT IF YOU CAN'T SPEAK ENGLISH, YOU MIGHT NEED TO FIND ANOTHER COUNTRY OR ELSE STAY SILENT. TURNS OUT THE STATE DEPARTMENT FEATURES FOREIGN LANGUAGE AUDIO FILES ON ITS OFFICIAL WEBSITE.
NOW COMES NEWS THAT BULLY BOY'S STATEMENT LAST WEEK OPPOSING BOYCOTTS ALSO HAD NO LEGS.
TO TOM BROKAW, BULLY BOY SAID, "I MEAN, THE DIXIE CHICKS ARE FREE TO SPEAK THEIR MIND. THEY CAN SAY WHAT THEY WANT TO SAY. AND JUST BECAUSE -- THEY SHOULDN'T HAVE THEIR FEELINGS HURT JUST BECAUSE SOME PEOPLE DON'T WANT TO BUY THEIR RECORDS WHEN THEY SPEAK OUT."
WHEN CONFRONTED WITH BULLY BOY'S STATEMENTS FROM APRIL 24, 2003, STATEMENTS THAT DO NOT SAY "THE DIXIE CHICKS SHOULD NOT BE BOYCOTTED!", WHITE HOUSE LAP DOG SCOTTY MCCLELLAN LOOKED A LITTLE SAD. THEN HE PERKED UP AND SAID, "THE BULLY BOY DID NOT SAY HE WAS AGAINST 'BOYCOTTS.' HE SAID HE WAS AGAINST 'BOY CROTCHES.' ANYONE WHO HAS OBSERVED HIS EAR HAIRS KNOWS THAT 'MAN SCAPING' IS NOT SOMETHING OUR BULLY BOY TAKES PART IN."
"SO YOU ARE SAYING THE BULLY BOY IS AGAINST BOY CROTCHES!"
"YES," REPLIED SCOTT MCCLELLAN.
IMMEDIATELY CRIES RANG UP FROM THE DC PRESS CORP WHO APPEARED TO WAKE FOR THE FIRST TIME IN SIX YEARS.
"WHAT ARE THE BOYS' NAMES!"
"HOW LONG HAS HE BEEN AGAINST BOY CROTCHES!"
"DOES HE HAVE SLEEP OVERS LIKE MICHAEL JACKSON!"
"SEX SCANDAL!" CHORTLED LISA MYERS. "HOT DAMN! DC'S FINALLY COME BACK TO LIFE!"


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