THIS JUST IN!
MTV SNUB LEADS TO PROPOSED BAN!
THIS AFTERNOON BULLY BOY BLUSTERED ON ABOUT THE NEED FOR AN AMENDMENT TO BAN GAY MARRIAGE.
"OUR POLICIES SHOULD AIM TO STRENGTHEN FAMILIES, NOT UNDERMINE THEM," SAID THE BULLY BOY DESPITE RUMORS THAT THE FIRST LADY NOW LIVES IT UP IN THE MAYFLOWER HOTEL IN SOME SORT OF CATHERINE DENEUVE BELLE DE JOUR TAKE OFF.
WHILE SOME ARE SEING THE LATEST ATTEMPT TO SCARE MIDDLE AMERICA AS JUST ANOTHER TACTIC TO SCARE UP VOTERS, INSIDERS ARE SAYING THAT IT'S ACTUALLY MUCH DEEPER THAN THAT.
"THIS GAY SEX SPEECH," SAID ONE INSDER, "IS ALL ABOUT DICK. DICK CONTROLS BULLY BOY."
INDEED.
AND DICK'S FEELING MIGHTY TICKED OFF AFTER SUNDAY NIGHT'S MTV MOVIE AWARDS CONTINUED HIS LOSING STREAK. NOT ONLY WAS BROKEDOWN DEMOCRACY SHUT OUT OF ALL THE MAIN CHARACTERS BUT EFFORTS AT AN INTENSIVE WRITE-IN CAMPAIGN TO GRAB A BUCKET OF GOLD PLATED POPCORN AT THE MTV MOVIE AWARDS FAILED MISERABLY.
INSTEAD OF WINNING BEST MOVIE KISS, CHENEY (AND BULLY BOY) LOST OUT TO JAKE GYLLENHAAL AND HEATH LEDGER. CONDI RICE ATTEMPTED TO CONSOLE VICE PRESIDENT CHENEY BY TELLING HIM THAT "NO ONE COULD HAVE GUESSED" THAT HE AND BULLY BOY WOULD BE SHUT OUT OF ALL THE AWARDS.
WELL NOTORIUS DICK WASN'T HAVING IT.
AND HE WASN'T ABOUT TO LET JAKE GYLLENHAAL AND HEATH LEDGER GRAB ALL THE HEADLINES.
"I WON'T BE PUNKED BY TWO YOUNGS PUNKS!" CHENEY HOLLERED BEFORE ORDERING BULLY BOY TO GET HIS "CANDY ASS" OUT FRONT AND CENTER AND KNOCK GYLLENHAAL AND LEDGER OUT OF THE NEWS CYCLE.
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"And the war drags on . . ."
"Potatoes Anna in the Kitchen"
"roundtable with cedric, betty, c.i. and myself participating"
"news via Democracy Now and a conversation in three parts"
"A conversation in three parts"
"Focusing on the paper to avoid my husband"
"Kat's Korner: Janis Ian blows in on a gentle breeze"
"TV: TESR Investigates"
"From a diary found in the Mayflower Hotel"
"The ones we never know"
"Saturday post"
