Tuesday, June 20, 2006

THIS JUST IN! TONY SNOW THINKS HE'S PARIS HITLON!

BULLY BOY PRESS - DC.

THIS JUST IN!

TONY SNOW THINKS HE'S PARIS HILTON.

PRESSED TO ADDRESS THAT FACT THAT NORTH KOREA SEEMS UNWILLING TO PAY THE UNITED STATES NO EVER MIND, WHITE HOUSE MOUTH TONY SNOW DECLARED THAT NORTH KOREA WAS HEARING THE U.S. LOUD AND CLEAR IN A NON "YOU HEAR ME NOW?" CELL PHONE COMMERCIAL.

SNOW STATED THAT EVEN IF THE UNITED STATES WAS IN THE DARK, NORTH KOREA KNEW, THEY DAMN WELL KNEW. THEY GOT THE MESSAGE LOUD AND CLEAR.

"DOESN'T MEAN THEY DON'T HEAR IT. IT JUST MEANS YOU DON'T."

CONTRAST WITH PARIS HILTON IN APRIL OF 2005: "IT'S NOT BIG SECRET THAT NICOLE AND I HARD NO LONGER FRIENDS. I WILL NOT GO INTO THE DETAILS OF WHAT HAPPENED. ALL I WILL SAY IS THAT NICOLE KNOWS WHAT SHE DID AND THAT'S ALL I'M GOING TO SAY ABOUT IT."

SAID A WHITE HOUSE SOURCE WHO IS NOT FORMER WHITE HOUSE PET SCOTTY MCCLELLAN, "WHAT'S NEXT? THE TONY SNOW SEX TAPE? THINGS WERE SO MUCH CLASSIER WHEN I WAS -- WHEN THAT NICE SCOTT MCLELLAN WAS WHITE HOUSE PRESS SECRETARY."


"OH WELL," THE UNNAMED INSIDE SOURCE SHRUGGED BEFORE ASKING, "THINK FOX WOULD LET ME AUDITION FOR THE SIMPLE LIFE?"


HEADING OFF TO AUDITION FOR A SEASON OF THE SIMPLE LIFE.







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