Monday, July 24, 2006

THIS JUST IN! SCOTTY MCLELLAN HOWLING WITH GLEE!

BULLY BOY PRESS - DC

THIS JUST IN!

SCOTTY MCLELLAN HOWLING WITH GLEE!

THIS REPORTER ALMOST MISSED OUT ON THIS MORNING'S PRESS BRIEFING AND HOW CAN YOU START THE DAY RIGHT WITHOUT A FRESH PRESS BRIEF?

FORMER WHITE HOUSE PET SCOTTY MCLELLAN WAS BOUNDING THROUGH THE HALLS, BOUNCING LIKE WINNIE THE POOH'S TIGGER.

"HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!" SCOTTY SQUEALED, TRYING HIS BEST TO COME OFF LIKE WOODY WOODPECKER BUT SOUNDING A LOT LIKE FAMILY MATTER'S URKEL.

SPOTTING ME, SCOTTY BOUNCED OVER.

"IT'S HAPPEND!" HE SAID BOUNCING UP.

"HE HAS TO EAT CROW!" HE SAID BOUNCING DOWN.

"IT'S HIS TURN NOW!" SAID SCOTTY BEFORE FALLING OFF HIS MINI-TRAMPOLINE.

SOMEONE CRIED, "IS THERE A DOCTOR IN THE HOUSE?" AND THE ALWAYS PRACTICAL JOKER DICK CHENEY RESPONDED, "I DON'T KNOW, BUT THERE'S ONE IN THE SENATE!"

RUSHING TO THE PRESS BRIEFING, THIS REPORTER WAS JUST IN TIME TO HEAR NEW WHITE HOUSE FLACK TONY SNOW DECLARE THAT WHEN HE SAID THE BULLY BOY CONSIDERS STEM CELL RESEARCH TO BE "MURDER," IT WAS AN OVERSTATEMENT AND THAT THE BULLY BOY "WOULD NOT USE THAT TERM."


CORNERED BY THIS REPORTER, SNOW ADMITTED THAT THE MISTAKE WAS IN USING THE TERM "MURDER."

"'KILL' IS PERFECTLY FINE," SNOW STATED. "'MURDER' IS NOT. 'KILL' IS ONE SYLLABLE. THE BULLY BOY OF THE UNITED STATES CAN HANDLE 'KILL' BUT HIS TONGUE GETS LOST WITH 'MURDER.'"

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