BULLY BOY PRESS - COLUMBUS, OHIO.
THIS JUST IN!
THANK GOD JOHN MCCAIN KNEW IT WASN'T A DAY AT THE BEACH!
SPEAKING IN COLUMBUS TODAY, THE LATE TALKING EXPRESS CREAKED INTO THE STATION AND JOHN MCCAIN GULPED DOWN HIS WHEATIES AND OFFERED THE STRONGEST CRITIQUE AGAINST THE BULLY BOY HE'S BEEN ABLE TO MUSTER SINCE 2000.
NOTING THAT THE AMERICAN PEOPLE WERE LIED TO WITH SILLY SLOGANS (MCCAIN LISTED "STUFF HAPPENS," "MISSION ACCOMPLISHED," "LAST THROES" AND "A FEW DEAD-ENDERS") JOHNNY MCCAIN CLEARED HIS THROAT AND BLAMED THE TALK, WHOSE ORIGIN HE NEVER IDENTIFIED, FOR AMERICAN'S NOT GRASPING THAT THIS 'TWAS NO CAKEWALK.
"BECAUSE THEY [AMERICANS] WERE LED TO BELIEVE THIS COULD BE SOME KIND OF DAY AT THE BEACH, WHICH MANY OF US FULLY UNDERSTOOD FROM THE BEGINNING WOULD BE A VERY, VERY DIFFICULT UNDERTAKING."
"OH THANK GOD," SEVERAL REPORTERS SIGHED UNDER THE BREATH.
FOR THE ONLY THING WORSE THAN JOHN MCCAIN THINKING IT WAS A DAY AT THE BEACH WAS PICTURING HIM ACTING OUT THAT FANTASY -- JOHN MCCAIN IN A SPEEDO IS ALMOST AS FRIGHTENING AS THAT 2004 MOMENT IN PENSACOLA, FL. WITH THE WHOLE WORLD WATCHING AS HE AND BULLY BOY WRAPPED THEIR ARMS AROUND EACH OTHER BEFORE BULLY BOY BEGAN KISSING JOHN-O ON EITHER SIDE OF THE FACE.
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