BULLY BOY PRESS & CEDRIC'S BIX MIX -- GRANTHAM, PA.
THIS JUST IN!
CAMPAINGING FOR 'MOST NEXT TO GODLINESS,' RICK SANTORUM AND BOB CASEY JUNIOR TACKLE THE REALLY IMPORTANT ISSUES THAT THE U.S. CONGRESS CAN ADDRESS.
IT A BATTLE OF THE CATHOLICS, AS CASEY JUNIOR TALKS ABOUT HIS MISSIONARY WORK AND SANTORUM TALKS ABOUT HIS LOVE FOR ALL OF GOD'S CREATURES (ESPECIALLY DOGS).
NEXT WEEK, SANTORUM WILL ANNOUNCE THAT JESUS HAS ENDORSED HIM AND CASEY JUNIOR WILL TOP IT BY NOTING THAT GOD ENDORSED THE CASEY CAMPAIGN.
"JESUS," EXPLAINED A CASEY STAFFER, "IS A LOVELY MAN TO BE SURE; HOWEVER, HE IS UNMARRIED, HE TRAVELS WITH A LOT OF MEN AND IT JUST LACKS THE KIND OF WEIGHT THAT THE LORD GOD HAS. REMEMBER THE LORD GOD IS A FAMILY MAN, HE'S JESUS' FATHER. WE ARE QUITE CONFIDENT THAT ALTHOUGH MORE PEOPLE KNOW JESUS' FACE, THEY REALLY PUT A LOT OF WEIGHT BEHIND THE WORD OF GOD."
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