THIS JUST IN! ALBERTO WILL BE THE CROSSING GUARD!

BULLY BOY PRESS & CEDRIC'S BIX MIX -- DC.

 

THIS JUST IN!

 

ALBERTO WILL BE THE CROSSING GUARD!

 

THE DEPARTMENT OF JUSTICE HAS ADVISED THAT ALBERTO GONZALES WILL BE PARTICIPATING IN BULLY BOY'S CONFERENCE ON SCHOOL SAFETY TOMORROW IN CHEVY CHASE, MARYLAND.

 

ALBERTO WANTED TO PLAY SCHOOL NURSE BUT JAMES BAKER III HAD ALREADY SIGNED UP AND BOUGHT HIS COSTUME.  "YEARS AGO," LAUGHED JIMMY BAKER, "YEARS AGO.  THE HOSE REQUIRES GARTERS."

 

SO ALBERTO THOUGHT HE'D SIGN UP TO BE THE TEACHER BUT APPARENTLY THE UNWRITTEN CHENEY FAMILY NEPOTISM QUOTA FOR 2007 HAS ALREADY KICKED IN.  "IT FIGURES," SAID ALBIE, THE INTERNATIONAL BILLIE JEAN KING LOOK-A-LIKE CHAMP, "THEY'D GEAR IT TO THE FISCAL YEAR AND NOT THE CALANDER YEAR."

 

 

SO ALBERTO ASKED DICK CHENEY WAS HE WAS PLANNING ON BEING?

 

HOLDING A 3 FOOT WIDE, WOODEN PANEL IN ONE HAND AND STROKING IT WITH THE OTHER, DICK CHENEY SAID, "OH, I'M GOING TO BE THE COACH.  I'M GOING TO WHIP THAT YOUNG 'UN INTO LINE."

 

 

IN DESPERATION, ALBERTO GONZALES OFFERED TO BE BULLY BOY'S "BUDDY" BUT CONDI SAID, "BACK OFF, B***CH.  I'LL BE OPENING HIS JUICE BOXES AND HOLDING HIS HAND.  THREE'S A CROWD UNLESS YOU'RE FREAKY.  YOU LIKE TO FREAK?"

 

 

SO ALBERTO DECIDED FINALLY JUST TO BE THE CROSSING GUARD.  TO CHEER HIM UP, DICK CHENEY OFFERED TO LET HIM SET UP THE SKEET TARGETS FOR GYM CLASS.

 

 

"YOU'RE NOT A BLEEDER, ARE YOU?"  DICK ASKED.

 

 

 

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