BULLY BOY PRESS & CEDRIC'S BIX MIX -- DC.
THIS JUST IN!
BULLY BOY SAYS "THEY DON'T KNOW MATTS!"
IN THE MIDST OF A MORNING JOG BULLY BOY EXPLODED.
"THEY DON'T KNOW MATTS!"
"MATTS WHO? DRUDGE?" WONDERED SECRETARY OF STATE CONDI RICE NERVOUSLY.
SHE WAS AFRAID HE COULD TELL HOW MUCH SHE WAS HOLDING BACK IN HER EFFORTS NOT TO MAKE HIM APPEAR SO PUNY.
"MATTS! MATTS! HOLY SPIT, CONDI, DON'T YOU KNOW NOTHING? MATTS!"
"I AGREE SIR," HUFFED AND PUFFED SECRETARY OF DEFENSE DONALD RUMSFELD. "WE NEED MORE MAPS. MAPS THAT SHOW KNOWNS AND UNKNOWNS. MAPS THAT --"
"SHUT IT, POINDEXTER!" SNAPPED BULLY BOY. "MATTS! DON'T YOU PEOPLE KNOW NOTHING?"
DONALD RUMSFELD COULD FEEL HIS NOW REGULAR LIGHT MORNING STROKE COMING ON AND CURSED HIMSELF FOR CARING WHETHER OR NOT THAT IDIOT-IN-CHIEF FIRED HIM. HE KNEW NO JOB WAS WORTH IT.
"BATHS! I AGREE, SIR! I DO! WE COULD ALL USE A NICE LONG BATH!" BEAMED ATTORNEY GENERAL AND INTERNATIONAL BILLIE JEAN KING LOOK-A-LIKE ALBERTO GONZALES.
"WHAT? YOU MORON!" SNAPPED BULLY BOY.
DONALD HAD TO LAUGH, DESPITE THE TINGLING IN HIS LEFT ARM, SERVED ALBERTO RIGHT FOR TRYING TO SNEAK IN ON THE MORNING JOBS WITH A DOCTOR'S NOTE AND A HOVER-ROUND!
"MATTS, YOU IDIOTS!" YELLED BULLY BOY. "MATTS! DON'T YOU PEOPLE KNOW NOTHING. MATTS IS 'PLUSES' AND 'TAKE AWAY'S AND 'TIMES' AND THAT FUNNY THING LIKE A NOSE CAUGHT BETWEEN 2 EYES."
"DIVISION!" ALBERTO SAID NODDING AGREEABLY.
"GOD, HOW I HATE HIM," THOUGHT TO DONALD RUMSFELD TO HIMSELF. "LITTLE KISS ASS IN AN ELECTRIC CHAIR WHILE I'M SWEATING AND --"
"DONALD!" CONDI SCREAMED AS THE SECRETARY OF DEFENSE FELL TO THE GROUND.
"RIGHT, 'DA TRILLION.' DATS WHAT MATTS IS ALL ABOUT AND THIS STUDY SAYING THAT -- HOW MUCH IS IT CONDI?"
"ABOUT 655,000, SIR. 655,000 IRAQIS DEAD AS A RESULT OF THE WAR," CONDI SAID WITH RELIEF AS SHE SAW DICK CHENEY'S PERSONAL STAFF RUSH TO THE TRACK WITH A GURNEY.
"RIGHT, LIKE, WHAT IS THAT? THAT SOUNDS LIKE MORE THAN LIKE A ZIMAMILLION."
"A ZIMAMILLION, SIR?"
BULLY BOY REACHED OVER AND PATTED ALBERTO ON THE BACK.
"SEE, CONDI, ALBERTO CULVER GETS IT. 6 AND 5 AND 5 AND ZERO AND ZERO AND ZERO IS JUST NOT EVEN LIKE A NUMBER. IT'S JUST NOT CREDIBLE."
Recommended: "Iraq snapshot"
"barbra, ricky clousing and more"
"Rested"
"James Baker, the "savior"?, and voter registration deadlines"
"Brownies and school party tips in the Kitchen"
"Rested"
"James Baker, the "savior"?, and voter registration deadlines"
"Brownies and school party tips in the Kitchen"
Talk is cheap. Use Yahoo! Messenger to make PC-to-Phone calls. Great rates starting at 1¢/min.
