Revised 10:03 pm
BULLY BOY PRESS - DC.
TODAY IN WASHINGTON, DC., THE WHITE HOUSE CONFIRMED THAT YESTERDAY VICE PRESIDENT DICK CHENEY SLICED OFF A MAN'S FINGER.
THE EVENT, AS IS CURRENTLY KNOWN, TOOK PLACE ON A SUNDAY FISHING TRIP. VICE PRESIDENT CHENEY WAS SAID TO BE ATTEMPTING TO GUT A FISH AND MISTOOK BULLY BOY PIONEER AND ENRON HERO KENNETH LAY'S RIGHT HAND FOR A FISH.
WHITE HOUSE PET SCOTT MCCLELLAN QUOTED VICE PRESIDENT CHENEY AS HAVING STATED, "I THOUGHT I WAS CUTTING OFF A FIN."
DETAILS EMERGED TODAY WHEN REPORTERS STAKED OUT ALL 29 OF KENNETH LAY'S MANSIONS HOPING TO CORNER HIM FOR A QUOTE AS TO HIS THOUGHTS ON KEN RICE. WHEN LAY EMERGED FROM HIS MOST RECENT MANSION, FORMERLY KNOW AS THE EMPIRE STATE BUILDING IN NYC, REPORTERS NOTED THE BANDAGED RIGHT HAND.
"OH, IT'S NOT SO BAD," SAID KENNETH LAY, "DICK'S NOT GREEDY. HE LEFT ME 4 ON THIS HAND."
FORMER FIRST LADY BETTY FORD WAS HEARD TO REMARK, "MY HUSBAND'S NEVER BEEN WHAT YOU MIGHT CALL 'GRACEFUL' BUT GERRY NEVER BLOODIED ANYONE EITHER."
WHILE VICE PRESIDENT CHENEY HAS NOT SPOKEN TO THE PRESS, IT HAS RECENTLY BEEN LEARNED THAT UPON RETURNING TO DC. LATE YESTERDAY, HE COMPETED IN THE 2006 SWEETHEART SHOOT, A DART TOURNAMENT. NO WORD OF ANY INJURIES HAS YET TO BE RELEASED.
THE VICE PRESIDENT'S ITINERARY TODAY INCLUDES AN AXE TOSSING CONTEST IN THE DEEP SOUTH, WHITE HOUSE OFFICIALS SAID SPEAKING ON THE CONDITION OF ANONYMITY -- NOT OUT OF ANY CONCERN OR FEAR BUT "JUST BECAUSE WE ALWAYS GET IT."
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