BULLY BOY PRESS - DC.
THIS JUST IN!
THE ONE TOKE CHENEY DANCE IS SWEEPING THE NATION AS CHILDREN EVERYWHERE ADMIT TO DOING SOMETHING WHILE DENYING DOING ANYTHING.
"NO. YOU DON'T HUNT WITH PEOPLE WHO DRINK. THAT'S NOT A GOOD IDEA," VICE PRESIDENT DICK CHENEY STATED YESTERDAY.
VICE PRESIDENT CHENEY FOLLOWED THIS WITH A SHEEPISH, "I HAD A BEER AT LUNCH."
VICE PRESIDENT CHENEY QUICKLY BACKED OFF THAT WITH, "NOBODY WAS DRINKING . . . YOU DON'T HUNT WITH PEOPLE WHO DRINK."
"WHAT IS THIS ONE BEER?" WONDERS THE NATION.
THERE IS SPECULATION THAT CHENEY'S "A BEER" REFERS TO "A COOLER" AS IN "I DRANK THE WHOLE COOLER BECAUSE NO ONE ELSE WAS DRINKING." THE ALTERNATIVE, OF COURSE, IS THAT THIS TEXAS BBQ/PICNIC SERVED/PACKED ONLY 1 BEER.
COMMENTS SOCIOLOGIST AND MOTHER OF THREE BETTY, "SOME ONE WAS DRINKING, WEREN'T THEY, DICK? YOU KEEP SAYING NO ONE WAS DRINKING, BUT SOMEONE WAS, ISN'T THAT RIGHT? LITTLE MAN, I THINK YOU NEED TO GET TO YOUR ROOM UNTIL YOU CAN DO THE TRUTH TALK."
MEANWHILE A WOMAN WAS HEARD TO SCREAM "SHAMEFUL! SHAME ON ALL OF YOU!" AS THE AMBULANCE CARTED THE DERANGED WOMAN AWAY, SHE RETURNED TO CONVERSING WITH HERSELF WHILE EVERYONE RETURNED TO IGNORING HER.
"LADIES AND GENTLEMAN," DICK CHENEY SAID BEAMING, "MY OWN PERSONAL MARTHA MITCHELL. LIKE THE AMBULANCE, SHE FOLLOWS ME EVERYWHERE I GO."
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