BULLY BOY PRESS - NEW DELHI
THIS JUST IN!
ON THE FIRST LEG OF HIS BULLYING THE GLOBE WORLD TOUR,
BULLY BOY ARRIVED TODAY FOR THE FIRST OF A 3 DAY WORKING VACATION. WHILE IN INDIA, BULLY BOY WILL "SHARE U.S. NUCLEAR KNOW-HOW AND FUEL WITH INDIA TO HELP POWER ITS FAST-GROWING ECONOMY, EVEN THOUGH INDIA WON'T SIGN THE INTERNATIONAL NONPROLIFERATION TREATY."
AN EARLIER, SURPRISE TRIP TO AFGHANISTAN FOUND THE BULLY BOY BEING CALLED "A THIEF" BY TALIBAN DEPUTY LEADER MULLAH ABDULLAH AKHUND AFGHAN WARLORD WHO PROMISED TO GREET AN ANNOUNCED VISIT BY THE BULLY BOY WITH "ROCKETS AND ATTACKS."
SECRETARY OF STATE CONDOLEEZA RICE, WHO IS TRAVELING WITH BULLY BOY TO MAINTAIN HER STATUS OF "WORK WIFE" IN THE FACE OF CHALLENGES FROM HARRIE MIERS AND ALBERTO GONZALES, DOWNPLAYED THE STATEMENT BY MULLAH ABDULLAH AKHUND.
SAID SECRETARY RICE, "NO ONE COULD HAVE GUESSED WE WOULD VISIT AFGHANISTAN BECAUSE IT WAS A SURPRISE. IN FACT, WE'VE ONLY PRETENDED TO IGNORE AFGHANISTAN THE PAST YEAR AND A 1/2 BECAUSE WE WANTED TO REALLY TICKLE THEM WHEN WE YELLED 'SURPRISE! WE'RE HERE!'"
WHEN PRESSED ON "ROCKETS," SECRETARY RICE REPLIED, "WELL . . .
ROCKETS DO NOT HAVE TO BE A BAD THING. EVERY ONE LOVES FIRE WORKS, RIGHT? RIGHT?"
CHANGING THE SUBJECT, SECRETARY RICE WAVED TOWARDS A LITTLE OVER 100,00 PEOPLE WHO HAD TURNED OUT TO MEET BULLY BOY. "THEY LOVE HIM," DECLARED RICE. "BUT I SAW HIM FIRST."
SHOWING THE LOVE WERE SIGNS THAT READ "GO BACK, BULLY BOY", "BULLY BOY IS A KILLER" "BULLY BOY, BUZZ OFF", "BULLY BOY, STOP THE AMBUSH."
WHEN ASKED WHERE FIRST LADY LAURA BUSH WAS, SECRETARY RICE FELL SILENT. "ISN'T SHE WITH US?" WHEN ASKED WHAT HAD HAPPENED TO THE DISTURBED AND DRUNKEN WOMAN AT YESTERDAY'S PROTEST, SECRETARY RICE REMEMBERED THAT SHE HAD PROMISED TO CALL GWEN IFEL AND EXCUSED HERSELF.
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