THIS JUST IN!
INTERN SCANDAL!
REPUBLICAN CONGRESS MEMBER MARK FOLEY HAS ANNOUNCED HE IS RETIRING FROM CONGRESS ASAP.
THE ANNOUNCEMENT COMES A DAY AFTER ABC OBTAINED E-MAILS SENT FROM FOLEY TO A 16 YEAR-OLD INTERN. THE INTERN APPARENTLY WAS BOTHERED BY THE E-MAILS AND HE TURNED THEM OVER TO OTHERS.
IN 1994, AFTER HE SUPPORTED THE DEFENSE OF MARRIAGE ACT (AKA: "NO GAYS ALLOWED"), SPECULATION RAN RAMPANT ABOUT FOLEY'S OWN LIFE AND FOLEY DISMISSED THEM SAYING, "FRANKLY, I DON'T THINK WHAT KIND OF PERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS I HAVE IN MY PRIVATE LIFE IS OF ANY RELEVANCE TO ANYONE ELSE."
ABC CLAIMS THE E-MAILS ARE "SEXUALLY EXPLICIT." AND, SINCE FOLEY HAS CHAMPIONED LEGISLATION TO PROTECT MINORS ONLINE, IT SHOULD BE NOTED THE INTERN HE WAS E-MAILING WAS 16 YEARS-OLD. FOLEY ALSO VOTED FOR 2 OF THE 4 IMPEACHMENT CHARGES AGAINST BILL CLINTON.
WHEN APPROACHED BY THESE REPORTERS, FOLEY ATTEMPTED TO OUT RACE US. AFTER IT BECAME OBVIOUS THAT HE COULD NOT SHAKE US, FOLEY AGREED TO BRIEF QUESTIONS.
DID FOLEY HAVE RELATIONS WITH THE BOY?
"POPPY COCK!" SNAPPED FOLEY BEFORE WORRYING OVER HOW "POPPY COCK" MIGHT SOUND.
DID FOLEY SEND INAPPROPRIATE E-MAILS?
"I NEVER ONCE POSED AS SOMEONE IN AFRICA WITH LUNG CANCER WHO WOULD TRANSFER MY FORTUNES TO THE CHILD IF HE WOULD JUST SEND ME HIS BANKING INFORMATION."
DID FOLEY SEND SEXUALLY INAPPROPRIATE E-MAILS?
"NO!"
THEN WHAT IS ABC CLAIMING THEY HAVE, WHAT ARE THEY PLANNING TO BUILD THIS EVENING'S WORLD NEWS TONIGHT AROUND?
FOLEY SWORE HE HAD NO IDEA AND INSISTED HE HAD TO LEAVE. SHORTLY AFTER, HE CAME BACK OVER TO THESE REPORTERS AND REQUESTED "THE E-MAIL ADDRESS FOR THE BLOND." THE BLOND (WALLY) THANKED HIM FOR THE INTEREST BUT SAID "NO, THANK YOU."
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