Friday, October 13, 2006

THIS JUST IN! FELON IN THE CONGRESS

 
THIS JUST IN!
 
FELON IN THE CONGRESS!
 
REPUBLICAN CONGRESS REPRESENTATIVE BOB NYE APPEARED BEFORE JUDGE ELLEN S. HUVELLE AND PLEADED GUILTY TO (A) CONSPIRACY AND (B) MAKING FALSE STATEMENTS.
 
 
BUT ACCEPTING RESPONSIBILITY DOES NOT INCLUDE LEAVING CONGRESS ANYTIME SOON.  MARK TOUHEY, BOB NYE'S CRIMINAL ATTORNEY, BECAUSE HE IS NOW A CRIMINAL HAVING PLEADED GUILTY TO NOT JUST ONE, BUT TWO FELONIES, EXPLAINED TO THE JUDGE THAT BOB NEY WAS PREPARED TO RESIGN FROM THE UNITED STATES CONGRESS . . . SOMETIME BEFORE JANUARY, 19 2007.
 
WELL WHY NOT?  WHY SHOULDN'T A CONVICTED FELON CONTINUE TO SERVE FOR THE REST OF OCTOBER, FOR NOVEMBER, FOR DECEMBER AND SOME OF JANUARY IN THE UNITED STATES CONGRESS?  ISN'T THAT THE REPUBLICAN WAY?
 
THE MAKE UP OF THE HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES NOW READS 434 MEMBERS.  NOT 435 BECAUSE REPUBLICAN MARK FOLEY HAD TO RESIGN IN DISGRACE THE LAST WEEK OF SEPTEMBER OVER HIS EFFORTS TO 'COMMUNICATE WITH JAIL BAIT.'
 
SO THE MAKE UP IS 434 -- THAT'S 433 MEMBERS SERVING AND 1 MEMBER ABOUT TO BEGIN SERVING TIME IN A FEDERAL PRISON. 
 
A WHITE HOUSE INSIDER TELLS THESE REPORTERS THAT KARL ROVE IS HARD AT WORK TRYING TO FIGURE OUT TO 'BUMPER STICKER THAT.'
 
 
Recommended: "Iraq Snapshot"


Stay in the know. Pulse on the new Yahoo.com. Check it out.

Thursday, October 12, 2006

THIS JUST IN! IDIOT OF THE WEEK, NON-GOVERNMENTAL DIVISION!

BULLY BOY PRESS & CEDRIC'S BIX MIX & MIKEY LIKES IT & THOMAS FRIEDMAN IS A GREAT MAN & THE THIRD ESTATE SUNDAY REVIEW -- DC.

THIS JUST IN!

IDIOT OF THE WEEK, NON-GOVERNMENTAL DIVISION!


And the idiot of the week? Missy Kurzweil! Writing in The Cornell Daily Sun, Kurzweil, a senior, demonstrated that Cornell has serious problems and there's something stinky in the "College of Agriculture and Life Sciences" as well as with the school paper itself. For instance:

a) Tom Cruise is not "someone who has played Maverick". Tom Cruise wasn't even in the film "Maverick". Mel Gibson played that role.

b) Kurzweil writes: "If Streisand absolutely must rally for the Democrats or deface President Bush, she should follow the example of Bono, lead singer of U2, who helped organize the Live 8 concert in July of 2005 with the specific (and publicized) purpose of making a political stand." Since Bono refuses to criticize Bully Boy publicly, how can Streisand "follow the example" Bono set and criticize him? And since when is "criticize" and "deface" the same term? Bono's a good little monkey for his organ grinder. Streisand showed some bravery.

c) When you're writing for a newspaper, you should get your words correct. This isn't a blog, it's a school newspaper. But Kurzweil writes for a paper and writes: "ardent democrat". That's Big-D, Missy, Big-D: "Democrat." Don't they teach politics in the college of Ag?

d) The idiot writes: "I dislike Bush as much as the next gal, maybe more. But my political views are totally irrelevant, as were Streisand’s on Monday night." Sounds like all of the idiot's "views" are irrelevant. Streisand isn't handing out an order of fries. She's an artist. Art comments on the world around it. We will agree with the idiot; however, when she writes "my own political views are totally irrelevant" -- and so is she.

e) The idiot also writes: "Kanye West's infamous outburst at the televised Hurricane Katrina relief concert -- 'George Bush doesn't care about black people!' -- was no different. Sure, Kanye has a right to free speech and he certainly exercised it that day. He also got viewers to laugh mockingly at him for months to follow."

Little Whitey and her friends apparently mocked and laughed at West. Well it's a White-White World for Missy. But maybe the laughter she's hearing is that she's again gotten her facts wrong. She can't even quote West correctly. "Doesn't like," Missy, "doesn't like." Not, "doesn't care." She really tired herself out writing this one.

Missy Kurzweil: Idiot of the Week -- and not afraid to show it to the world.

But, good news for the Miss-ter, she can count on a career as a 'liberal pundit' for the mainstream rags -- she's proven she has no respect for facts, no respect for research and, note, she slams the ones who speak out against Bully Boy but never the Bully Boy or those who favor him. Missy Kurzweil, A Pundit Whore in waiting.

FROM THE TCI WIRE:

So Ricky Clousing had a court-martial today and did you even hear about it or read about in the media? Did your day start with a heads up to it and a note that there would be a rally today, that he would speak to the press? Where was independent media?

Clousing? He was on his own. He was at the mercy of the big media which has not demonstrated a great deal of interest in the subject.

The AP was there. From the AP's "Paratrooper gets three months confinement for going AWOL:"

A Fort Bragg paratrooper who says he left his military base because he disagreed with the U.S. mission in Iraq was sentenced to three months of confinement after pleading guilty Thursday to going absent without leave.
Sgt. Ricky Clousing, 24, of Sumner, Wash., also will receive a reduction in rank before getting a bad conduct discharge. His plea allowed him to avoid a more severe sentence for desertion.


Where was independent media?

David Miner, Clousing's attorney, is quoted as saying that Ricky Clousing doesn't regret his decision (by the AP). Good for him. He shouldn't. He should be proud of himself, he's demonstrated true bravery. But any war resister who wants to complain about the lack of coverage has every right to do so. Bob Watada is on his second speaking tour and who's interviewing him and who isn't?

Mark Wilkerson is in a state of limbo, awaiting to hear what charges will be brought against him. He was a one day news cycle and, if he's charged, after his hearing he might get another one-day cycle. It doesn't cut it.


Recommended: "Iraq Snapshot"
"Ricky Clousing stands trial today (and will the media cover it?)"
"Iraq moves further closer to dividing into three separate regions"
"Q&A (C.I.)"
"Call on Me"
"Is the media going to cover Ricky Clousing or not?"
"Bully Boy adds it up"
'THIS JUST IN! BULLY BOY SAYS: "THEY DON'T MATTS!"'
"Kat & Blogging (Betty)"
"Thomas Friedman's Bad Ideas & Blurry Boundaries"
"Ruth's Report"
"Wayne Madsen and Dr. William Pepper (Ruth)"
"Brownies and school party tips in the Kitchen"
"Editorial: Going to where big media is and ignoring war resisters"
"TV Review: Men in Trees, Water Cooler Critics swinging from them"
"Thoughts on Mark Foley"
"Mutha Cokie and the Blind"
"Are You On CounterSpin's Guest List?"

THIS JUST IN! BULLY BOY ACHIEVES!

 
THIS JUST IN!
 
BULLY BOY ACHIEVES!
 
THE MAN WHO STARTED AN ILLEGAL WAR WITH IRAQ AND WHO STOOD BY DOING NOTHING DURING HURRICANE KATRINA, THE E-COLI SPINACH OUTBREAK, THE MARK FOLEY SCANDAL, ETC. APPEARED DOOMED TO BE REMEMBERED AS THE VACATIONING LEADER OR THE NAPPING ONE.
 
BUT BULLY BOY HAS ACHIEVED A CREDIT! 
 
 
AND SOME THOUGH HE HAD NOTHING LEFT TO SURPRISE US WITH.
 
 
Returning to reality, in Fayetteville, North Carolina, Ricky Clousing's court-martial began and ended (and the world wonders: WHERE THE HELL WAS INDEPENDENT MEDIA?).  April Johnston (Fayetteville Observer) reports that Clousing "pleaded guilty to being absent without leave" and that was the end of the hearing:  "The Army originally charged Clousing with desertion, but allowed him to plead guilty to the lesser charge."  AP reports: "Sgt. Ricky Clousing, 24, of Sumner, Wash., was expected to be sentenced Thursday afternoon.  His attorney, David Miner of Seattle, has said he would argue against sending Clousing to prison."
 
War resister Ricky Clousing is part of a larger story of resistance within the military as well as the story of one person's brave stand.  In June 2005, he self-checked out of the military after returning from Iraq.  On August 11th of this year,  Mike Barber (Seattle Post-Intelligencer) broke the news that 24-year-old Ricky Clousing had decided to turn himself in and noted that Clousing went AWOL from "Fort Bragg in 2005 after returning from Iraq with the 82nd Airborne Division." Clousing spoke publicly about his decision to return at the Veterans for Peace conference that was being held in Seattle. Clousing turned himself in at Fort Lewis (Washington) and was instructed that Fort Bragg handled the issue. On August 18th, Clousing turned himself to Fort Bragg. September 1st, the military announced, to Clousing's attorney David Miner, that Clousing had been charged with desertion the day before. Again, Miner states he will argue against sending Clousing to prison. 
 
What if they gave a war and no one showed up?  What if they gave a resistance and indymedia was too busy partying?  (And promoting the party.)  The "coverage" isn't cutting it.
 
 
Recommended: "Iraq Snapshot"


How low will we go? Check out Yahoo! Messenger’s low PC-to-Phone call rates.

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

THIS JUST IN! BULLY BOY SAYS: "THEY DON'T MATTS!"

 
 
THIS JUST IN!
 
BULLY BOY SAYS "THEY DON'T KNOW MATTS!"
 
 
IN THE MIDST OF A MORNING JOG BULLY BOY EXPLODED.
 
 
"THEY DON'T KNOW MATTS!"
 
 
"MATTS WHO?  DRUDGE?" WONDERED SECRETARY OF STATE CONDI RICE NERVOUSLY.
 
 
SHE WAS AFRAID HE COULD TELL HOW MUCH SHE WAS HOLDING BACK IN HER EFFORTS NOT TO MAKE HIM APPEAR SO PUNY.
 
 
"MATTS!  MATTS!  HOLY SPIT, CONDI, DON'T YOU KNOW NOTHING?  MATTS!"
 
"I AGREE SIR,"  HUFFED AND PUFFED SECRETARY OF DEFENSE DONALD RUMSFELD.  "WE NEED MORE MAPS.  MAPS THAT SHOW  KNOWNS AND UNKNOWNS.  MAPS THAT --"
 
"SHUT IT, POINDEXTER!" SNAPPED BULLY BOY.  "MATTS!  DON'T YOU PEOPLE KNOW NOTHING?"
 
DONALD RUMSFELD COULD FEEL HIS NOW REGULAR LIGHT MORNING STROKE COMING ON AND CURSED HIMSELF FOR CARING WHETHER OR NOT THAT IDIOT-IN-CHIEF FIRED HIM.   HE KNEW NO JOB WAS WORTH IT.
 
"BATHS!  I AGREE, SIR!  I DO!  WE COULD ALL USE A NICE LONG BATH!"  BEAMED ATTORNEY GENERAL AND INTERNATIONAL BILLIE JEAN KING LOOK-A-LIKE ALBERTO GONZALES.
 
"WHAT?  YOU MORON!"  SNAPPED BULLY BOY. 
 
DONALD HAD TO LAUGH, DESPITE THE TINGLING IN HIS LEFT ARM, SERVED ALBERTO RIGHT FOR TRYING TO SNEAK IN ON THE MORNING JOBS WITH A DOCTOR'S NOTE AND A HOVER-ROUND!
 
"MATTS, YOU IDIOTS!"  YELLED BULLY BOY.  "MATTS!  DON'T YOU PEOPLE KNOW NOTHING.  MATTS IS 'PLUSES' AND 'TAKE AWAY'S AND 'TIMES' AND THAT FUNNY THING LIKE A NOSE CAUGHT BETWEEN 2 EYES."
 
"DIVISION!"  ALBERTO SAID NODDING AGREEABLY.
 
"GOD, HOW I HATE HIM," THOUGHT TO DONALD RUMSFELD TO HIMSELF.  "LITTLE KISS ASS IN AN ELECTRIC CHAIR WHILE I'M SWEATING AND --"
 
"DONALD!"  CONDI SCREAMED AS THE SECRETARY OF DEFENSE FELL TO THE GROUND.
 
"RIGHT, 'DA TRILLION.'  DATS WHAT MATTS IS ALL ABOUT AND THIS STUDY SAYING THAT -- HOW MUCH IS IT CONDI?"
 
"ABOUT 655,000, SIR.  655,000 IRAQIS DEAD AS A RESULT OF THE WAR,"  CONDI SAID WITH RELIEF AS SHE SAW DICK CHENEY'S PERSONAL STAFF RUSH TO THE TRACK WITH A GURNEY.
 
"RIGHT, LIKE, WHAT IS THAT?  THAT SOUNDS LIKE MORE THAN LIKE A ZIMAMILLION."
 
"A ZIMAMILLION, SIR?"
 
BULLY BOY REACHED OVER AND PATTED ALBERTO ON THE BACK. 
 
"SEE, CONDI, ALBERTO CULVER GETS IT.  6 AND 5 AND 5 AND ZERO AND ZERO AND ZERO IS JUST NOT EVEN LIKE A NUMBER.  IT'S JUST NOT CREDIBLE."
 
 
 
 
 
Recommended: "Iraq snapshot"


Talk is cheap. Use Yahoo! Messenger to make PC-to-Phone calls. Great rates starting at 1¢/min.

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

THIS JUST IN! BULLY BOY WASTES MORE TIME & MONEY

 
THIS JUST IN!
 
BULLY BOY WASTES MORE TIME & MONEY.
 
FILE UNDER: DESTROYING THE PUBLIC 1 MORE TIME.
 
NOT CONTENT WITH TURNING A GENERATION INTO SEXUAL INCOMPETENTS AND FUMBLERS, THE BULLY BOY KEEPS TRYING TO DRAG HIS RELIGION INTO SCHOOLS.
 
WITH A CONFERENCE ENTITLED "CONFERENCE ON SCHOOL SAFETY" SUPPOSEDLY INTENDED TO DISCUSS PUBLIC EDUCATION, BULLY BOY PACKED IT WITH "MANY REPRESENTATIVES FROM RELIGIOUS ORGANIZATIONS".
 
A WOMAN WHO LOOKED LIKE LAURA BUSH AND WAS DOWNING CANS OF LONE STAR DECLARED, "I URGE ALL ADULTS ACROSS THE COUNTRY TAKE THEIR RESPONSIBILITY TO CHILDREN -- THEIR OWN CHILDREN, AND THEIR COMMUNITY'S CHILDREN -- SERIOUSLY."
 
THE GHOST OF ETTA BARSTOW HOLLERED BACK, "START BY URGING YOUR OWN HUSBAND!"
 
THE GHOST OF BARTOW WAS REFERRING TO THE FACT THAT BULLY BOY IS ATTEMPTING "TO CUT $347 MILLION IN SCHOOL-SAFETY GRANTS FOR STATES THIS YEAR."
 
WHILE BULLY BOY ATTEMPTED TO IGNORE THE GHOST, DICK CHENEY BEGAN SCREAMING AT SECRET SERVICE THAT THE LATE MS. BARSTOW'S REMARKS COUNTED AS "AN ASSAULT." 
 
WHEN A SECRET SERVICE AGENT RESPONDED, "BUT MR. VICE PRESIDENT, THEY ARE ACCURATE."
 
"THAT'S THE MOST OFFENSIVE THING ABOUT THEM!"  DICK CHENEY EXPLODED.
 
NEAR THE END OF THE CEREMONIES AWARDS WERE HANDED OUT AND AN ACTIVIST WHO POSED WITH THE BULLY BOY EARLIER WON "MOST INSULTING REMARKS." 
 
HE EARNED THAT FOR EARLIER DECLARING THAT 'MORALITY' NEEDED TO BE BROUGHT BACK TO THE CLASSROOMS. 
 
ATTEMPTS TO REACH THE AMISH FOR A RESPONSE TO THE SMEAR WERE UNSUCCESSFUL AT PRESS TIME.
 


Get your own web address for just $1.99/1st yr. We'll help. Yahoo! Small Business.

Monday, October 09, 2006

THIS JUST IN! ALBERTO WILL BE THE CROSSING GUARD!

 
THIS JUST IN!
 
ALBERTO WILL BE THE CROSSING GUARD!
 
 
ALBERTO WANTED TO PLAY SCHOOL NURSE BUT JAMES BAKER III HAD ALREADY SIGNED UP AND BOUGHT HIS COSTUME.  "YEARS AGO," LAUGHED JIMMY BAKER, "YEARS AGO.  THE HOSE REQUIRES GARTERS."
 
SO ALBERTO THOUGHT HE'D SIGN UP TO BE THE TEACHER BUT APPARENTLY THE UNWRITTEN CHENEY FAMILY NEPOTISM QUOTA FOR 2007 HAS ALREADY KICKED IN.  "IT FIGURES," SAID ALBIE, THE INTERNATIONAL BILLIE JEAN KING LOOK-A-LIKE CHAMP, "THEY'D GEAR IT TO THE FISCAL YEAR AND NOT THE CALANDER YEAR."
 
 
SO ALBERTO ASKED DICK CHENEY WAS HE WAS PLANNING ON BEING?
 
HOLDING A 3 FOOT WIDE, WOODEN PANEL IN ONE HAND AND STROKING IT WITH THE OTHER, DICK CHENEY SAID, "OH, I'M GOING TO BE THE COACH.  I'M GOING TO WHIP THAT YOUNG 'UN INTO LINE."
 
 
IN DESPERATION, ALBERTO GONZALES OFFERED TO BE BULLY BOY'S "BUDDY" BUT CONDI SAID, "BACK OFF, B***CH.  I'LL BE OPENING HIS JUICE BOXES AND HOLDING HIS HAND.  THREE'S A CROWD UNLESS YOU'RE FREAKY.  YOU LIKE TO FREAK?"
 
 
SO ALBERTO DECIDED FINALLY JUST TO BE THE CROSSING GUARD.  TO CHEER HIM UP, DICK CHENEY OFFERED TO LET HIM SET UP THE SKEET TARGETS FOR GYM CLASS.
 
 
"YOU'RE NOT A BLEEDER, ARE YOU?"  DICK ASKED.
 
 
 
Recommended: "Iraq Snapshot"


Get your email and more, right on the new Yahoo.com