Friday, September 08, 2006

THIS JUST IN! BULLY BOY SAYS "MY BAD"!

BULLY BOY PRESS & CEDRIC'S BIX MIX -- DC.


THIS JUST IN!

BULLY BOY SAYS, "MY BAD".

THE SENATE INTELLIGENCE COMMITTEE'S REPORT WAS RELEASED TODAY AND IT FOUND "NO EVIDENCE SADDAM HUSSEIN HAD A RELATIONSHIP WITH TERRORIST ABU MUSAB AL-ZARQAWI OR HIS AL-QAIDA ASSOCIATES BEFORE THE IRAQ WAR."

ON AUGUST 21ST, BULLY BOY STATED: "I SQUARE IT BECAUSE IMAGINE A WORLD IN WHICH YOU HAD SADDAM HUSSEIN WHO HAD THE CAPACITY TO MAKE A WEAPON OF MASS DESTRUCTION, WHO WAS PAYING SUICIDERS TO KILL INNOCENT LIFE, WHO HAD RELATIONS WITH ZARQAWI."

WHEN CONFRONTED TODAY, BULLY BOY FIRST ATTEMPTED FART HUMOR.

THEN HE SHRUGGED AND SAID "MY BAD" BEFORE RUSHING TO MAKE A SPEECH ONCE AGAIN FALSELY LINKING SADDAM HUSSEIN AND 9-11.



Recommended: "Iraq Snapshot"
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"Other Items"
"Bully Boy's still in his Dirty Depends"
"the mouse that purred for the bully boy"
"The al-Maliki Shuffle"
"Who bedded down with the Nazis?"
"THIS JUST IN! BULLY BOY & OSAMA -- COUSINS! IDENTICAL COUSINS!"


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Thursday, September 07, 2006

THIS JUST IN! BULLY BOY & OSAMA -- COUSINS! IDENTICAL COUSINS!

BULLY BOY PRESS - DC.
 
SPEAKING WITH CBS NEWS' KATIE COURIC, BULLY BOY WAS CAUGHT OFF GUARD WHEN A CLOSED CAPTION TECHNICIAN PROVIDED DECIPHERING TO HIS REMARKS.
 
EXAMPLE 1: WHEN BULLY BOY TOLD COURIC, "WELL, FIRST OF ALL, I DO THINK IRAQ IS A CENTRAL FRONT IN THE WAR ON TERROR AND SO DOES OSAMA BIN LADEN."
 
THE CLOSED CAPTION READ:  "I TALK TO OSAMA AT ALL HOURS!  WE'RE LIKE TWO TEENAGE GIRLS CHATTING AWAY ON THE PHONE, GIGGLING, WONDERING WHO WOULD STAND THE BETTER CHANCE WITH HOTTY KEN MEHLMAN!  THEN WE'LL GIGGLE SOME MORE AND THEN SING THE THEME TO THE PATTY DUKE SHOW.  WE'RE COUSINS!  IDENTICAL COUSINS!"
 
 
EXAMPLE 2: WHEN COURIC ASKED BULLY BOY FOR EXAMPLES OF INFORMATION GAINED FROM "HIGH VALUE TARGETS," HE RESPONDED: "RIGHT, WELL, FOR EXAMPLE, WE UNCOVERED A POTENTIAL ANTRAX ATTACK ON THE UNITED STATES.  OR THE FACT THAT KHALID SHEIKH MOHAMMAD HAD GOT SOMEBODY TO LINE UP PEOPLE TO FLY AIRPLANES, TO CRASH AIRLINES ON, I THINK, THE WEST COAST OR SOMEWHERE IN AMERICA.  AND THESE WOULD BE SOUTHEAST ASIANS.  IN OTHER WORDS WE'VE UNCOVERED CELLS."
 
THE CLOSED CAPTION READ: "OH CRAP!  DID I SAY ANTHRAX!  SUPPOSE ANYONE'S REMEMBERING THAT I NEVER FOUND THE GUY SENDING ALL THAT ANTHRAX RIGHT AFTER SEPTEMBER 11TH?  I BETTER REALLY START TALKING OUT MY ASS NOW.  SOUTHEAST ASIANS?  WHAT DOES THAT MEAN ANY WAY?  I REMEMBER HOW DADDY USED TO MAKE ALL THESE JOKES ABOUT YOKO ONO.  I'M TRYING REAL HARD NOT TO LAUGH RIGHT NOW.  WHEN MY MOUTH TWITCHES, THAT'S WHAT'S GOING ON.  I FEEL GASSY.  GOT TO TELL LAURA TO QUIT PUTTING THE REFRIED BEANS ON TOP OF EVERYTHING.  LIKE THE CHEESE CAKE.  WHO EVER HEARD OF PUTTING BEAN DIP ON TOP OF THE CHEESE CAKE?  BUT WHEN I SAID THAT TO HER SHE SAID, 'YOU KNEW WHEN I MARRIED YOU I WAS A FRITO LAY GIRL!'  OH CRAP, KATIE'S STARING AT ME.  DID SHE ASK A QUESTION?"
 
 
Recommended: "Iraq Snapshot"

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Wednesday, September 06, 2006

THIS JUST IN! BULLY BOY HOLLERS "I AM A CROOK!"

 
THIS JUST IN!
 
BULLY BOY HOLLERS "I AM A CROOK!"
 
IN PREPARATION FOR THEIR LAST ATTEMPT AT CAMPAIGN FOOL THE PEOPLE, THE G.O.P. HAS SCHEDULED "DIRTY DEPENDS" FOR THE ENTIRE MONTH OF SEPTEMBER AS THEY ATTEMPT TO SCARE AMERICANS INTO VOTING TO KEEP THEM IN THEIR CROOKED MAJORITY.
 
FIRST UP ON THE DIRTY DEPENDS TOUR, BULLY BOY ADMITS TO SECRET PRISONS -- AND THEY DON'T JUST MEAN THE CLOSET WITH THE HEAVY DOOR LAURA LOCKS HIM IN WHEN HE HITS THE SAUCE! 
 
DEMANDING THAT HIS SPEECH BE TELEVISED LIVE, BULLY BOY ADMITTED THAT THIS IS NOT A DEMOCRACY AND THAT WE NO LONGER OPERATE UNDER THE ASSUMPTION OF INNOCENT UNTIL PROVEN GUILTY.
 
INSTEAD BULLY BOY GLOATED AND BOASTED OF RIPPING THE CONSTITUTION TO SHREDS AS HE STUCK HIS UGLY ASS-FACE AT THE CAMERA AND DECLARED, "DIRTY DEPENDS!  DIRTY DEPENDS!  WE HAVE NO FRIENDS! SO WE WILL SCARE YOU!  WE WILL, WE WILL SCARE YOU!  SCARE YOU!  WE WILL, WE WILL SCARE YOU!  SCARE YOU!  WE WILL, WE WILL --"
 
STOMPING FROM THE PODIUM, BULLY BOY PURPOSEFULLY STOMPED ACROSS THE ROOM ON A CARPET ALBERT GONZALES HAD DESIGNED FOR THE EVENT USING SCRAPS FROM THE ORIGINAL U.S. CONSTITUTION. 
 
 
In NYC, Friday September 15, Saturday September 16 and Sunday September 17 (7:00 pm each night), The People Speak directed by Will Pomerantz and Rob Urbinati.  This is a workshop adaptation of Howard Zinn and Anthony Arnove's Voices of a People's History of the United States.  The workshop will take place at The Culture Project's Bleecker Street Theater on 45 Bleecker Street.  Tickets are ten dollars and can be ordered online here or here or purchased in person at the box office (box office does not take ticket orders). For those in NYC or that will be during those dates, click here for a map.  The presentation is part of the Impact Festival.
 
 
Recommended: "Iraq Snapshot"

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Tuesday, September 05, 2006

THIS JUST IN! BULLY BOY CONFESSES . . . TO WHAT?

 
THIS JUST IN! 
 
BULLY BOY CONFESSES . . . TO WHAT?
 
SURVEYING THE DAMAGE HE'S DONE WITH HIS ILLEGAL WAR IN IRAQ AND HIS LAUGHABLE WAR ON "TERRAH," BULLY BOY ANNOUNCED THE UNITED STATES WAS "SAFER BUT NOT SAFE."
 
THERE ARE TWO SCHOOLS OF THOUGHT IN CONVENTIONAL THOUGHT D.C. CIRCLES AS TO WHAT BULLY BOY MEANT BY HIS STATEMENT.
 
THE FIRST ARGUES THAT WITH LITTLE TO POINT TO PROUDLY ON HIS RESUME THEN OR NOW, BULLY BOY APPEARED TO BE CONFESSING WHAT SOME HAD LONG ACCUSED HIM OF: HE WASN'T REALLY INVOLVED THE TEXAS RANGERS AND HE DOESN'T REALLY KNOW BASEBALL.
 
ANYONE WHO DID WOULD GRASP THAT THERE IS NO "SAFER BUT NOT SAFE."  THERE IS "SAFE" OR THERE IS "YOU'RE OUT!" 
 
BY DECLARING THE UNITED STATES "SAFER BUT NOT SAFE" AS A RESULT OF HIS ACTIONS, BULLY BOY IS THOUGHT BY THE SECOND SCHOOL OF CONVENTIONAL WISDOME TO HAVE BEEN SEEKING SOME SORT OF NATIONAL UMPIRE (THE PEOPLE?) TO DECLARE HIM OUT.
 
LET THE IMPEACHMENT BEGIN.
 
 
 
 

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Friday, September 01, 2006

THIS JUST IN! DEMOCRATS IN CONGRESS DO HAVE A PULSE!

 
THIS JUST IN! 
 
DEMOCRATS IN CONGRESS DO HAVE A PULSE!
 
THOUGH THE WATCHDOGS ON THE LEFT LARGELY FELT THE NEED TO OFFER HISTORY LESSONS WHEN SECRETARY OF OFFENSE DONALD RUMSFELD SMEARED CRITICS OF THE ADMINISTRATION'S ILLEGAL WAR IN IRAQ, THE DEMOCRATS CAME OUT OF THEIR COMA AND BACK TO LIFE.
 
CALLING OUT TALK THAT NO U.S. OFFICIAL SHOULD BE MAKING, THE DEMOCRATS STOOD FIRM AND SOME CALLED FOR HIS RESIGNATION.
 
WHILE THIS WENT ON, AGAIN, YOUR WATCHDOGS OF THE LEFT DEMONSTRATED HOW TRULY USELESS THEY CAN BE AS THEY SAW THE SMEAR AS AN OPPORTUNITY NOT TO CALL RUMSFELD OUT BUT TO OFFER HISTORY LESSONS.
 
SAVE THE LECTURES, TEACH, YOU DEMONSTRATED HOW WORTHLESS YOU ARE. 
 
THANKFULLY THE DEMOCRATS STOOD TALL IN 1 OF THE MOST SURPRISING MOMENTS OF 2006. 
 
WHEN SECRETARY OF OFFENSE DONALD RUMSFELD TRIED TO CLAIM HE HAD BEEN MISQUOTED IN THE PRESS, HOUSE MINORITY LEADER NANCY PELOSI'S SPOKESPERSON STATED THAT THEY HAD READ THE SPEECH AND WERE STANDING BY THE REMARKS.
 
MINORITY LEADER NANCY PELOSI ADDED, "IF MR. RUMSFELD IS SO CONCERNED WITH COMPARISONS TO WORLD WAR II, HE SHOULD EXPLAIN
WHY OUR TROOPS HAVE NOW BEEN FIGHTING IN IRAQ LONGER THAN IT TOOK OUR FORCES TO DEFEAT THE NAZIS IN EUROPE."
 
THAT'S HOW YOU FIGHT.  LET'S HOPE THE SPINE STICKS.
 
 
RELATED (2 WHO STOOD UP WHEN IT MATTERED): "OTHER ITEMS"
 
 
Recommended: "Iraq snapshot"

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Thursday, August 31, 2006

THIS JUST IN! BULLY BOY SAYS YOU COULD BE WRONG!

BULLY BOY PRESS & CEDRIC'S BIX MIX - SALT LAKE CITY
 
THIS JUST IN!
 
BULLY BOY SAYS YOU COULD BE WRONG!
 
SPEAKING AT THE AMERICAN LEGION NATIONAL CONVENTION, THE BULLY BOY WHO WENT AWOL FROM THE NATIONAL GUARD, STATED OF THOSE DEMANDING THAT AMERICAN TROOPS COME HOME FROM IRAQ, "THEY COULD NOT BE MORE WRONG." 
 
THEY COULDN'T?
 
ARE THEY THE ONES WHO PUSHED AND PROMOTED THE LIE THAT IRAQ HAD WMD?
 
ARE THEY THE ONES WHO LET OSAMA BIN LADEN SLIP AWAY AT TORA BORA?
 
WHO COULDN'T BE MORE WRONG?
 
MAYBE THE 1 WHO "COULDN'T BE MORE WRONG" IS THE SAME BULLY BOY WHO LIED A NATION INTO WAR WITH IRAQ AND NOW HAS HIS SIGHTS SET ON IRAN?
 
 

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Wednesday, August 30, 2006

ALBERTO SPREADS HIS TORTURED TORTURE 'LOGIC' AROUND!

BULLY BOY PRESS -- GREEN ZONE, IRAQ.
 
THIS JUST IN!
 
ALBERTO SPREADS HIS TORTURED TORTURE 'LOGIC' AROUND!
 
INTERNATIONAL BILLIE JEAN KING LOOK-ALIKE AND ATTORNEY GENERAL ALBERTO GONZALES ARRIVED IN BAGHDAD TUESDAY -- THE SAME DAY THAT 21 CORPSES WERE DISCOVERED "BEARING SIGNS OF TORTURE."
 
IT MADE HIM FEEL SO AT HOME AND WARM & FUZZY, HE ASKED HIS DRIVER IF HE COULD GET AN EGG MCMUFFIN IN THE GREEN ZONE?  (THE ANSWER WAS YES AND ALBERTO SCARFED DOWN 12.)
 
AFTERWARDS, ALBERTO GONZALES HAD A CLOSED DOOR MEETING WITH "TOP IRAQI SECURITY OFFICIALS."  ALBERTO SAID AFTERWARDS THAT, "IT IS SOMETIMES A DIFFICULT DECISION TO MAKE, AS TO WHAT IS THE APPROPRIATE LINE, WHAT IS ALLOWED UNDER THE LAW, UNDER THE CONSTITUTION." 
 
WHEN IT WAS POINTED OUT TO ALBERTO THAT HE WAS SPEAKING OF TORTURE, HE IMMEDIATELY BACK TRACKED SAYING, "IT IS AGAINST THE LAW.  WE HAVE A DOMESTIC LAW PROHIBITING TORTURE.  THERE ARE INTERNATIONAL PROHIBITIONS AGAINST TORTURE.  WE ARE A PARTY TO CONVENTION AGAINST TORTURE. . . . THIS GOVERNMENT DOES NOT ENGAGE IN TORTURE."
 
THUS SPAKE THE AUTHOR OF THE TORTURE MEMO.
 
THE U.S. GOVERNMENT DOES NOT ENGAGE IN TORTURE BECAUSE IT IS "A PARTY TO CONVENTION AGAINST TORTURE"? 
 
AS ALBERTO WROTE IN HIS TORTURE MEMO: "IN THE FOREGOING PARTS OF THIS MEMORANDUM, WE HAVE DEMONSTRATED THAT THE BAN ON TORTURE IN SECTION 2340A IS LIMITED TO ONLY THE MOST EXTREME FORMS OF PHYSICAL AND MENTAL HARM."
 
THE U.S. DOES NOT ENGAGE IN TORTURE?  THAT DEPENDS UPON WHAT YOUR DEFINITION OF "MOST EXTREME" IS.
 
 
 
 

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Tuesday, August 29, 2006

THIS JUST IN! EVEN BROWNIE TURNS ON BULLY BOY!

BULLY BOY PRESS & CEDRIC'S BIX MIX - DC, NYC & NEW ORLEANS.
 
THIS JUST IN!
 
EVEN BROWNIE TURNS ON BULLY BOY!
 
AT HIS LATEST PHOTO OP ATTEMPT TO CONVINCE AMERICA THAT HE HAS A HEART, IF NOT A BRAIN, BULLY BOY DECLARED, "WE'RE ADDRESSING WHAT WENT WRONG." 
 
 
IN THE MEANTIME, THE BROWNIE STRIKES BACK!
 
MICHEAL BROWN, THE ONE TIME DIRECTOR OF FEMA, STATED TODAY: "THERE WAS NO PLAN."
 
AND WHAT ABOUT ALL HIS REASSURANCES TO THE PEOPLE OF THE UNITED STATES?
 
 
 
 
 
Recommended: "Iraq Snapshot"

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Monday, August 28, 2006

THIS JUST IN! THE REAL 9-11 MOMENT!

BULLY BOY PRESS - DC, NYC & BILOXI
 
THIS JUST IN!
 
THE REAL 9-11 MOMENT!
 
NOT TOO DIFFERENT FROM THE REAL HURRICANE KATRINA MOMENT!
 
TODAY, BULLY BOY WENT WHERE IT WAS SAFE, AS USUAL.  IF THE GREEN ZONE COULD BE IMPLEMENTED IN THE UNITED STATES, HE WOULD BE HAPPY LITTLE BULLY. 
 
BULLY BOY PRESS LOOKS AT THE PRESS AND MUST EXPLAIN THAT TWO WORKING REPORTERS DAMAGED THEIR LONG TERM MEMORIES DUE TO OVER EXPOSURE TO ALUMIUNUM FROM THEIR CURLING IRONS.
 
 
SHERYL GAY STOLBERG DECLARES IN THE NEW YORK TIMES TODAY THAT THE LEGACY OF THE BULLY BOY IS A BATTLE BETWEEN TWO PHOTO OPS:
*"THE FIRST IS OF MR. BUSH AFTER THE SEPT. LL TERRORIST ATTACKS, BULLHORN IN HAND, FEET PLANTED FIRMLY IN THE RUBBLE OF THE TWIN TOWERS." 
 
*"THE SECOND IS OF HIM ABOARD AIR FORCE ONE, ON HIS WAY FROM CRAWFORD, TEX., TO WASHINGTON, PEERING OUT THE WINDOW AT THE WRECKAGE OF HURRICANE KATRINA THOUSANDS OF FEET BELOW."
 
MEANWHILE JENNIFER LOVEN (ASSOCIATED PRESS) WRITES THAT THE BULLY BOY "RETURNED MONDAY TO THE FIRST SCENE HE SAW A YEAR AGO OF HURRICANE KATRINA'S DEVESTATION . . ."
 
 
STOLBERG REMEMBERS HE FIRST OBSERVED THE DEVESTATION OF HURRICANE KATRINA FROM AIR FORCE ONE WHICH PUTS HER ONE UP ON LOVEN.  THAT WAS WEDNESDAY AUGUST 31, 2005, HE WAS RETURNING TO D.C. FROM CRAWFORD, TEXAS AND LOUISIANA WOULD BE THE STATE HE'D FLY OVER SO SOMEBODY BUY LOVEN A MAP OF THE UNITED STATES.
 
THE WHITE HOUSE ITSELF SHOWS BULLY BOY ON AIR FORCE ONE, AUGUST 31, 2005, LOOKING OUT THE WINDOW WITH THIS CAPTION: ". . . LOOKS OUT OVER THE DEVASTATION IN NEW ORLEANS FROM HURRICANE KATRINA AS HE HEADS BACK TO WASHINGTON D.C. WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 31, 2005, ABOARD AIR FORCE ONE.  WHITE HOUSE PHOTO BY PAUL MORSE."
 
SO THE FIRST STATE HE SAW THE DESTRUCTION OF WAS LOUISIANA.
 
AS FOR STOLBERG, THE "AFTER" 9-11 MOMENTS WAS THREE DAYS AFTER.  IT WAS SEPTEMBER 14, 2001. 
 
AS DENIS HAMILL NOTED IN THE NEW YORK DAILY NEWS: "I'M AMAZED THAT ANYONE IS AMAZED THAT IT TOOK GEORGE W. BUSH THREE DAYS TO SHOW UP IN NEW ORLEANS AFTER THE DEVASTATION OF HURRICANE KATRINA.  THAT'S EXACTLY HOW LONG IT TOOK HIM TO SHOW UP AT GROUND ZERO AFTER 9/11.  SO IT MYSTIFIES ME THAT THE PUNDITS AND THE CABLE GASBAGS KEEP TELLING US THAT GEORGE W. BUSH MISSED HIS 'BULLHORN MOMENT' IN NEW ORLEANS."
 
WHAT STOLBERG FORGETS TO MENTION IS THAT THE PRESS CREATED BULLY BOY'S 9-11 MOMENT.  THEY DID SO BY REFUSING TO SHOW THE AMERICAN PEOPLE THAT BULLY BOY SAT FOR IN A FLORIDA SCHOOL AFTER HE'D LEARNED THAT "THE SECOND TWIN TOWER HAS BEEN HIT AND THAT AMERICA WAS BEING ATTACKED" (THE MEMORY HOLE).
 
THE PRESS CHOSE TO IGNORE THAT MOMENT.  THEY WERE THERE. THEY COULD HAVE SHOWN IT.  THEY COVERED IT BUT  THAT WAS HIS 9/11 MOMENT. 
 
THEY ALSO IGNORED HIS BUNNY-FU-FU HOP AROUND THE NATION IN AIR FORCE ONE FOR MOST OF 9-11 BEFORE FINDING THE COURAGE TO RETURN TO THE WHITE HOUSE. (MAYBE MAMA BIG BABS SHOUTED "GET YOUR COWARDLY, CANDY ASS BACK TO D.C.!  YOU AIN'T IN THE NATIONAL GUARD NOW, GEORGIE, YOU CAN'T RUN THIS TIME!") 
 
AFTER HE WAS RESTED AND CALM, THREE DAYS AFTER, HE STRUTTED INTO NYC FOR A PRE-PLANNED PHOTO OP AND, SHERYL GAY STOLBERG, THIS IS WHEN THE PRESS CREATED HIS "9-11" MOMENT ON SEPTEMBER 14, 2001.
 
 
FOR THOSE WHO MISSED THE BULLY BOY'S ACTUAL 9-11 MOMENT, FROM THE MEMORY HOLE:
 
 

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