BULLY BOY PRESS - DC.
THIS JUST IN!
NO BULLY BOY LEFT BEHIND!
WHITE HOUSE JOKE TONY SNOW ANNOUNCED THE WHITE HOUSE'S SUPPORT FOR MAKING ENGLISH THE LAW OF THE LAND.
"IF YOU TAKE A LOOK AT THE DATE, PEOPLE WHO LEARN ENGLISH TEND TO BE MORE PROSPEROUS (AND) TEND TO BE BETTER AT THEIR JOBS," TONY SNOW DECLARED AS HANDS SHOT UP IN THE PRESS CORPS.
JUST THEN BULLY BOY WALKED INTO THE BRIEFING ROOM AND WHISPERED INTO THE EAR OF A NODDING SNOW.
"LADIES AND GENTELMEN OF THE PRESS," SNOW STATED SMILING, "ON THE SUBJECT OF IMMIGRATION, THE BULLY BOY OF THE UNITED STATES WOULD LIKE TO SAY A FEW WORDS."
GRINNING, BULLY BOY STEPPED IN FRONT OF THE PODIUM, CLEARED HIS THROAT AND SAID, "I THINK IT'S REALLY IMPORTANT FOR THIS GREAT STATE OF BASEBALL TO REACH OUT TO THE PEOPLE OF ALL WALKS OF LIFE TO MAKE SURE THAT THE SPORT IS INCLUSIVE. THE BEST WAY TO DO IT IS TO CONVINCE LITTLE KIDS HOW TO . . . THE BEAUTY OF PLAYING BASEBALL!"
AS THE PRESS STARED AT THE BULLY BOY IN SHOCK, SNOW GULPED AND LOOKED AROUND NERVOUSLY.
WARMING TO THE QUIET IN THE ROOM, THINKING THEY WERE SPELL BOUND, BULLY BOY OFFERED THOUGHTS ON ANOTHER PROGRAM, "I'M GOING TO SPEND A LOT OF TIME ON SOCIAL SECURITY. I ENJOY IT. I ENJOY TAKING ON THE ISSUE. I GUESS, IT'S THE MOTHER IN ME."
AS SNOW STOOD PARALYZED, LIFE COACH KAREN HUGHES TOOK CONTROL OF THE SITUATION AND BEGAN STRIDING TOWARDS THE PODIUM.
"AH, LOOK, IT'S KAREN HUGHES," BULLY BOY SAID POINTING. "KAREN'S A WEST TEXAS GIRL, JUST LIKE ME."
KAREN HUGHES ANNOUNCED THAT THE BULLY BOY HAD TO LEAVE FOR AN IMPORTANT NAP AND A QUICK MEETING. WAVING AT EVERYONE AND BLOWING KISSES, BULLY BOY EXITED THE ROOM.
"JUST TO REPEAT," HUGHES DECLARED GRUFFILY, "THE WHITE HOUSE BELIEVES THAT PEOPLE WHO LEARN THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE TEND TO BE BETTER AT THEIR JOBS."
"KAREN HUGHES," CALLED OUT A WOMAN. "HELEN THOMAS, KING FEATURES SYNDICATE . A QUESTION. IF THE WHITE HOUSE BELIEVES LEARNING ENGLISH HELPS PEOPLE BE BETTER AT THEIR JOBS, WHEN DO THEY PLAN ON TEACHING ENGLISH TO THE BULLY BOY?"
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Friday, May 19, 2006
Thursday, May 18, 2006
THIS JUST IN! DESPERATE CONGRESS MEMBERS!
BULLY BOY PRESS - DC.
THIS JUST IN!
DESPERATE CONGRESS MEMBERS!
WHILE MICHAEL HAYDEN'S GIRLISH, JOHN MCCAIN VOICE HELD THE ATTENTION OF THE SENATE INTELLIGENCE COMMITTEE, THINGS WERE HEATING UP ON THE SENATE JUDICIARY COMMITTEE.
ARLEN SPECTER, STILL LOOKING FOR THE MAGIC BULLET AFTER ALL THESE YEARS, DECIDED TO HOLD A VOTE ON A PROPOSAL HE DOESN'T SUPPORT: A BAN ON SAME-SEX MARRIAGE.
WHEN THE RIGHT, RIGHTEOUS RUSS CALLED HIM ON IT, SENATOR SPECTER PLAYED THE LOVER SPURNED.
"IF YOU WANT TO LEAVE, GOOD RIDDANCE!" SCREAMED ARLEN AS HE LOOKED FOR A KNICK KNACK TO THROW.
FINDING NONE, HE LEPT TO HIS FEET AND, IN HIS BEST NICOLETTE SHERIDAN, THREW HIS HEAD BACK, PUT HANDS ON HIPS AND SCREAMED, "YOU AIN'T ALL THAT, RUSS FEINGOLD! YOU AIN'T ALL THAT!"
IGNORING ARLAN'S ATTEMPT AT DESPERATE CONGRESS MEMBERS, RUSS FEINGOLD BLEW HIM OFF WITH A "SEE 'YA."
"HOW DARE HE!" SCREAMED AN ENRAGED ARLEN GRABBING FOR A PITCHER OF WATER AND THROWING IT TO THE FLOOR WHILE JOE BIDEN RUSHED OVER IMMEDIATELY, READY TO DELIVER A SERIES OF LENGTHY, PREPARED REMARKS. LINDSEY GRAHAM TOOK A FEW MINUTES TO SMOOTH HIS CRINOLINE PETTICOAT AND FINISH HIS MINT JULIP BEFORE STRUTTING OVER.
ARLEN WAS CRYING ON JOE'S SHOULDER. JOE HAD BEEN TALKING NONSTOP FOR 5 MINUTES. LINDSEY KNEW THE MILK TRAIN DIDN'T STOP HERE NO MORE.
"LET IT GO, ARLY," LINDSEY ADVISED.
"LET IT GO! HE HUMILIATED ME!" SCREAMED ARLEN. "HE WALKED ALL OVER ME! HE TREATED ME LIKE A TISSUE! USING ME AND THEN DISCARDING ME! WHO DOES HE THINK HE IS? JAMIE DENTON? DID YOU SEE HIM STOMPING OUT OF HERE? STOMPING ACROSS THE FLOOR LIKE HE STOMPED ACROSS MY HEART? STOMPING ACROSS THE FLOOR LIKE HE THOUGHT HE WAS DOING IT A FAVOR?"
WIPING THE TEARS FROM HIS EYES, ARLEN TOOK A DEEP BREATH, THEN LOOKED AROUND THE ROOM.
"IS ANYONE ELSE TURNED ON?" ARLEN ASKED.
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THIS JUST IN!
DESPERATE CONGRESS MEMBERS!
WHILE MICHAEL HAYDEN'S GIRLISH, JOHN MCCAIN VOICE HELD THE ATTENTION OF THE SENATE INTELLIGENCE COMMITTEE, THINGS WERE HEATING UP ON THE SENATE JUDICIARY COMMITTEE.
ARLEN SPECTER, STILL LOOKING FOR THE MAGIC BULLET AFTER ALL THESE YEARS, DECIDED TO HOLD A VOTE ON A PROPOSAL HE DOESN'T SUPPORT: A BAN ON SAME-SEX MARRIAGE.
WHEN THE RIGHT, RIGHTEOUS RUSS CALLED HIM ON IT, SENATOR SPECTER PLAYED THE LOVER SPURNED.
"IF YOU WANT TO LEAVE, GOOD RIDDANCE!" SCREAMED ARLEN AS HE LOOKED FOR A KNICK KNACK TO THROW.
FINDING NONE, HE LEPT TO HIS FEET AND, IN HIS BEST NICOLETTE SHERIDAN, THREW HIS HEAD BACK, PUT HANDS ON HIPS AND SCREAMED, "YOU AIN'T ALL THAT, RUSS FEINGOLD! YOU AIN'T ALL THAT!"
IGNORING ARLAN'S ATTEMPT AT DESPERATE CONGRESS MEMBERS, RUSS FEINGOLD BLEW HIM OFF WITH A "SEE 'YA."
"HOW DARE HE!" SCREAMED AN ENRAGED ARLEN GRABBING FOR A PITCHER OF WATER AND THROWING IT TO THE FLOOR WHILE JOE BIDEN RUSHED OVER IMMEDIATELY, READY TO DELIVER A SERIES OF LENGTHY, PREPARED REMARKS. LINDSEY GRAHAM TOOK A FEW MINUTES TO SMOOTH HIS CRINOLINE PETTICOAT AND FINISH HIS MINT JULIP BEFORE STRUTTING OVER.
ARLEN WAS CRYING ON JOE'S SHOULDER. JOE HAD BEEN TALKING NONSTOP FOR 5 MINUTES. LINDSEY KNEW THE MILK TRAIN DIDN'T STOP HERE NO MORE.
"LET IT GO, ARLY," LINDSEY ADVISED.
"LET IT GO! HE HUMILIATED ME!" SCREAMED ARLEN. "HE WALKED ALL OVER ME! HE TREATED ME LIKE A TISSUE! USING ME AND THEN DISCARDING ME! WHO DOES HE THINK HE IS? JAMIE DENTON? DID YOU SEE HIM STOMPING OUT OF HERE? STOMPING ACROSS THE FLOOR LIKE HE STOMPED ACROSS MY HEART? STOMPING ACROSS THE FLOOR LIKE HE THOUGHT HE WAS DOING IT A FAVOR?"
WIPING THE TEARS FROM HIS EYES, ARLEN TOOK A DEEP BREATH, THEN LOOKED AROUND THE ROOM.
"IS ANYONE ELSE TURNED ON?" ARLEN ASKED.
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Wednesday, May 17, 2006
THIS JUST IN! IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN A GOOD DAY FOR THE BULLY BOY!
BULLY BOY PRESS - DC.
THIS JUST IN!
IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN A GOOD DAY FOR THE BULLY BOY.
EARLY ON, MISS PRISS INSTANT CUCKOO ORRIN HATCH WENT TO BAT FOR BULLY BOY YET AGAIN. SURE IT WAS A FOUL BALL BUT SENATOR HATCH IS AN OLD MAN AND FUNNY TO LOOK AT. SO WITH THAT AND THE FACT THAT WHERE MISS PRISS GOES HER BOY TOYS SANTORUM AND CORNYN FOLLOW CLOSE BEHIND, SHOULD HAVE MEANT A GOOD DAY FOR THE BULLY BOY.
HATCHET HAD FED THE HUNGRY NEWS CYCLE FOR THE NEXT 24 HOURS ALLOWING ALL THE "BALANCE" LOVERS TO TYPE: NO BIG DEAL WITH THE NSA, HERE'S WHAT ORRIN HAD TO SAY . . . .
BUT BULLY BOY WAS FORLORN.
IF YOU ASKED HIM, HE COULDN'T USE THAT WORD. TOO BIG. BUT HE COULD HAVE TOLD YOU "SAD" PROBABLY.
"DUDES AND DUDESSES" IS HOW BULLY BOY GREETED THE OLYMPIC AND PARALYMPIC ATHLETES AND HE TRIED TO LAUGH, TRIED TO SNORT, TRIED TO DO THE PANTING HE LEARNED AS A BOY WHEN HE USED TO MAKE PRANK CALLS TO HIS MOTHER, BIG BABS, IN ORDER TO SPOOK HER, BUT HIS HEART WASN'T IN IT.
WHEN JEREMY BLOOM TRIED TO GIVE HIM A GIFT, BULLY BOY DIDN'T EVEN NOTICE.
BULLY BOY LOVES GIFTS.
BULLY BOY LIVES FAILURE.
BULLY BOY LOVES BROWN NOSERS.
A GIFT FROM A 5TH ROUND DRAFT PICK AND SOLID SUCK UP COULDN'T CATCH BULLY BOY'S ATTENTION.
FINALLY THE GIFT WAS ACCEPTED BY A WOMAN WHO LOOKS JUST LIKE THE WOMAN WHO EVERYONE SAYS IS NOT LAURA BUSH. THE 2 WOMEN LOOK EXACTLY THE SAME EXCEPT FOR THE CAN OF LONE STAR BEER 1 IS ALWAYS SEEN HOLDING.
HE MAY HAVE BEEN ON THE WHITE HOUSE LAWN, BUT HIS MIND WAS IN HOUSTON WHERE HIS "KENNY BOY" FOUND HIS FATE IN THE HANDS OF A JURY.
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Tuesday, May 16, 2006
THIS JUST IN! NEDRA PICKLER SEES INSIDE PEOPLE!
BULLY BOY PRESS - DC.
THIS JUST IN!
NEDRA PICKLER SEES INSIDE PEOPLE!
THE WISER PORTION OF THE DC PRESS CORPS, ALL THREE OF THEM, BROKE OUT IN LOUD LAUGHTER TODAY.
NOT AT THE BULLY BOY'S NASTY LITTLE ATTEMPT TO GET LAUGHS BY MAKING FUN OF AUSTRALIAN PRIME MINISTER JOHN HOWARD'S LOOKS AND THE FACT THAT HE'S BALD, BUT AT NEDRA PICKLER'S ATTEMPTED "REPORT" FOR THE ASSOCIATED PRESS.
"SHE'S THE HALEY JOEL OSMENT OF THE PRESS CORPS!" LAUGHED ONE TO THE CONFUSION OF MANY.
"SHE WRITES: 'HE ALSO IS KNOWN FOR TEASING PEOPLE AS A SIGN OF AFFECTION.'
SHE'S HALEY JOEL OSMENT IN THE SEQUEL TO THE SIXTH SENSE, NO SENSE. SHE STARES BLANKLY AHEAD AND WHISPERS 'I SEE INSIDE PEOPLE.' "
THAT CLEARED UP EVERY ONE BURST INTO LAUGHTER.
"I GOT THE FEELING," OFFERED ANOTHER, "THAT SHE WAS TEASED A GREAT DEAL IN SCHOOL, FOR OBVIOUS REASONS, SO INSTEAD OF RECOGNIZING THAT THE BULLY BOY TEASES BECAUSE HE IS A BULLY, SHE TRIES TO TURN IT INTO A 'SIGN OF AFFECTION' BECAUSE NOT TO DO SO WOULD MEAN FACING THAT ALL THE MANY CRUEL THINGS SAID TO HER OVER THE YEARS WERE MEANT TO HURT AS MUCH AS THEY DID."
"WHAT YOU TALKING ABOUT?" ASKED PICKLER WALKING UP WITH A GOOFY SMILE, TOLIET PAPER STUCK TO HER SHOE AND THE BACK OF SKIRT STUCK INSIDE HER PANTYHOSE.
"NOTHING," ALL THREE SAID, EXCHANGING LOOKS AND TRYING HARD NOT TO LAUGH WHILE NEDRA PICKLER CONTINUED SMILING HER GOOFY SMILE.
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THIS JUST IN!
NEDRA PICKLER SEES INSIDE PEOPLE!
THE WISER PORTION OF THE DC PRESS CORPS, ALL THREE OF THEM, BROKE OUT IN LOUD LAUGHTER TODAY.
NOT AT THE BULLY BOY'S NASTY LITTLE ATTEMPT TO GET LAUGHS BY MAKING FUN OF AUSTRALIAN PRIME MINISTER JOHN HOWARD'S LOOKS AND THE FACT THAT HE'S BALD, BUT AT NEDRA PICKLER'S ATTEMPTED "REPORT" FOR THE ASSOCIATED PRESS.
"SHE'S THE HALEY JOEL OSMENT OF THE PRESS CORPS!" LAUGHED ONE TO THE CONFUSION OF MANY.
"SHE WRITES: 'HE ALSO IS KNOWN FOR TEASING PEOPLE AS A SIGN OF AFFECTION.'
SHE'S HALEY JOEL OSMENT IN THE SEQUEL TO THE SIXTH SENSE, NO SENSE. SHE STARES BLANKLY AHEAD AND WHISPERS 'I SEE INSIDE PEOPLE.' "
THAT CLEARED UP EVERY ONE BURST INTO LAUGHTER.
"I GOT THE FEELING," OFFERED ANOTHER, "THAT SHE WAS TEASED A GREAT DEAL IN SCHOOL, FOR OBVIOUS REASONS, SO INSTEAD OF RECOGNIZING THAT THE BULLY BOY TEASES BECAUSE HE IS A BULLY, SHE TRIES TO TURN IT INTO A 'SIGN OF AFFECTION' BECAUSE NOT TO DO SO WOULD MEAN FACING THAT ALL THE MANY CRUEL THINGS SAID TO HER OVER THE YEARS WERE MEANT TO HURT AS MUCH AS THEY DID."
"WHAT YOU TALKING ABOUT?" ASKED PICKLER WALKING UP WITH A GOOFY SMILE, TOLIET PAPER STUCK TO HER SHOE AND THE BACK OF SKIRT STUCK INSIDE HER PANTYHOSE.
"NOTHING," ALL THREE SAID, EXCHANGING LOOKS AND TRYING HARD NOT TO LAUGH WHILE NEDRA PICKLER CONTINUED SMILING HER GOOFY SMILE.
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Monday, May 15, 2006
THIS JUST IN! THAT'S NOT LAURA BUSH!
BULLY BOY PRESS - DC.
THIS JUST IN!
"THAT'S NOT LAURA BUSH!"
SO SAYS THE WOMAN WHO LOOKS LIKE LAURA BUSH AND IS FREQUENTLY SEEN HECKLING THE BULLY BOY AT PRESS CONFERENCES WHILE DOWNING A CAN OR TWO OF LONE STAR BEER.
IF THAT WASN'T LAURA BUSH THEN WHO WAS POSING AS HER ON SUNDAY AND SAYING, "I DON'T REALLY BELIEVE THOSE POLLS . . . AS I TRAVEL AROUND THE UNITED STATES, I SEE A LOT OF APPRECIATION FOR HIM. A LOT OF PEOPLE COME UP TO ME AND SAY, 'STAY THE COURSE'."
WHICH COULD JUST BE AMERICANS OFFERING MARITAL ADVICE BUT THE MORE IMPORTANT QUESTION IS WHO WAS THAT WOMAN?
WHEN PRESSED ON THE ISSUE TODAY, TONY SNOW REFUSED TO CONFIRM OR DENY THAT THE WOMAN WAS OR WAS NOT LAURA BUSH BUT DID REPEAT THE PREVIOUS WHITE HOUSE LAPDOG (SCOTTY MCCLELLAN)'S TALKING POINT THAT "THE LAURA BUSH LOOK IS JUST A VERY POPULAR, A VERY STYLISH LOOK, THIS YEAR."
THE MYSTERY MIGHT HAVE ENDED UNSOLVED WERE IT NOT FOR THE FACT THAT KARL ROVE LOVES THE SPOTLIGHT. SPEAKING TO THE CREEPS AND JACKYLS THAT COMPOSE THE AMERICAN ENTERPRISE INSTITUTE, KARL ROVE OFFERED THAT BULLY BOY WASN'T UNPOPULAR, IT WAS JUST THE WAR THAT WAS UNPOPULAR.
WHEN ASKED IF THE WAR, POPULAR OR NOT, WAS NOT INDEED BULLY BOY'[S WAR THAT HE LAUNCHED, LIED AND TRICKED A NATION OVER AND --
"I DON'T BELIEVE IN POLLS," ROVE DECLARED LAYING HIS RIGHT HAND OVER HIS CHEST, FINGERS SPLAYED.
AS 1 REPORTER SAID, OFF THE RECORD, "THAT WAS A VERY TONY PERKINS MOMENT."
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THIS JUST IN!
"THAT'S NOT LAURA BUSH!"
SO SAYS THE WOMAN WHO LOOKS LIKE LAURA BUSH AND IS FREQUENTLY SEEN HECKLING THE BULLY BOY AT PRESS CONFERENCES WHILE DOWNING A CAN OR TWO OF LONE STAR BEER.
IF THAT WASN'T LAURA BUSH THEN WHO WAS POSING AS HER ON SUNDAY AND SAYING, "I DON'T REALLY BELIEVE THOSE POLLS . . . AS I TRAVEL AROUND THE UNITED STATES, I SEE A LOT OF APPRECIATION FOR HIM. A LOT OF PEOPLE COME UP TO ME AND SAY, 'STAY THE COURSE'."
WHICH COULD JUST BE AMERICANS OFFERING MARITAL ADVICE BUT THE MORE IMPORTANT QUESTION IS WHO WAS THAT WOMAN?
WHEN PRESSED ON THE ISSUE TODAY, TONY SNOW REFUSED TO CONFIRM OR DENY THAT THE WOMAN WAS OR WAS NOT LAURA BUSH BUT DID REPEAT THE PREVIOUS WHITE HOUSE LAPDOG (SCOTTY MCCLELLAN)'S TALKING POINT THAT "THE LAURA BUSH LOOK IS JUST A VERY POPULAR, A VERY STYLISH LOOK, THIS YEAR."
THE MYSTERY MIGHT HAVE ENDED UNSOLVED WERE IT NOT FOR THE FACT THAT KARL ROVE LOVES THE SPOTLIGHT. SPEAKING TO THE CREEPS AND JACKYLS THAT COMPOSE THE AMERICAN ENTERPRISE INSTITUTE, KARL ROVE OFFERED THAT BULLY BOY WASN'T UNPOPULAR, IT WAS JUST THE WAR THAT WAS UNPOPULAR.
WHEN ASKED IF THE WAR, POPULAR OR NOT, WAS NOT INDEED BULLY BOY'[S WAR THAT HE LAUNCHED, LIED AND TRICKED A NATION OVER AND --
"I DON'T BELIEVE IN POLLS," ROVE DECLARED LAYING HIS RIGHT HAND OVER HIS CHEST, FINGERS SPLAYED.
AS 1 REPORTER SAID, OFF THE RECORD, "THAT WAS A VERY TONY PERKINS MOMENT."
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Friday, May 12, 2006
THIS JUST IN! BULLY BOY GOES PUNK OR GETS PUNKED?
BULLY BOY PRESS - DC.
THIS JUST IN!
BULLY BOY GOES PUNK OR GETS PUNKED?
WITH HIS APPROVAL RATING CONTINUING TO FLUSH DOWN THE TOILET, BULLY BOY HAS EITHER GONE PUNK OR BEEN PUNKED FURTHER.
TODAY THE BULLY BOY DECLARED THAT THE REASON THE IRAQI GOVERNMENT HAS YET TO FORM A UNITY GOVERNMENT IS BECAUSE OF
THE "MILITIAS."
THE PRESS CORPS CHUCKLED LIGHTLY SINCE, AS EVERYONE BUT THE BRAIN DEAD KNOW, THE REASON NOTHING HAS BEEN FORMED IN PRIME MINISTER WANNA-BE AL-MALIKI'S GOVERNMENT IS BECAUSE A) OF U.S. INTERFERENCE AND B) THE FIGHT OVER WHO WILL BE OIL MINISTER.
WHISPERED ONE REPORTER, "IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T KNOW THAT HIS APPROVAL RATING HAS DROPPED TO 29%"
"OR DOESN'T CARE," ADDED ANOTHER.
"BULLY COULD NEVER DO MATH!" SLURRED A DRUNKEN WOMAN WHO LOOKED LIKE LAURA BUSH BUT WAS NOT LAURA BUSH. "WE LOST SO MUCH MONEY ONE CHRISTMAS WHEN HE TRIED TO DO DIVISION WITH DIME BAGS. HEY, I'M OUT OF LONE STAR!"
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THIS JUST IN!
BULLY BOY GOES PUNK OR GETS PUNKED?
WITH HIS APPROVAL RATING CONTINUING TO FLUSH DOWN THE TOILET, BULLY BOY HAS EITHER GONE PUNK OR BEEN PUNKED FURTHER.
TODAY THE BULLY BOY DECLARED THAT THE REASON THE IRAQI GOVERNMENT HAS YET TO FORM A UNITY GOVERNMENT IS BECAUSE OF
THE "MILITIAS."
THE PRESS CORPS CHUCKLED LIGHTLY SINCE, AS EVERYONE BUT THE BRAIN DEAD KNOW, THE REASON NOTHING HAS BEEN FORMED IN PRIME MINISTER WANNA-BE AL-MALIKI'S GOVERNMENT IS BECAUSE A) OF U.S. INTERFERENCE AND B) THE FIGHT OVER WHO WILL BE OIL MINISTER.
WHISPERED ONE REPORTER, "IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T KNOW THAT HIS APPROVAL RATING HAS DROPPED TO 29%"
"OR DOESN'T CARE," ADDED ANOTHER.
"BULLY COULD NEVER DO MATH!" SLURRED A DRUNKEN WOMAN WHO LOOKED LIKE LAURA BUSH BUT WAS NOT LAURA BUSH. "WE LOST SO MUCH MONEY ONE CHRISTMAS WHEN HE TRIED TO DO DIVISION WITH DIME BAGS. HEY, I'M OUT OF LONE STAR!"
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Thursday, May 11, 2006
THIS JUST IN! BULLY BOY DUMMIES UP FOR THE PRESS!
BULLY BOY PRESS - DC.
THIS JUST IN!
BULLY BOY DUMMIES UP FOR THE PRESS!
CONFRONTED WITH USA TODAY'S EXPLOSIVE STORY ABOUT HIS AUTHORIZING THE SPYING ON PHONE CALLS PLACED IN THE UNITED STATES AND NOT GOING OUT OF THE UNITED STATES BY NON-SUSPECTED AMERICAN CITIZENS, BULLY BOY TROTTED OUT THE USUAL DO ANYTHING TO PROTECT THE U.S. FROM 'TERRORISM' EVEN IF IT MEANS DESTROYING EVERY RIGHT WE HAVE AND EVERY PRINCIPLE WE STAND FOR.
ONE CHATTY WHITE HOUSE INSIDER, NOT SCOTTY MCCLELLAN, ASKED THIS REPORTER, "WHAT WOULD YOU RATHER HAVE? YOUR HOUSE BURNED DOWN BY TERRORISTS OR YOUR HOUSE BURNED DOWN BY OUR BULLY BOY?"
WHEN I RESPONDED THAT I'D PREFER NOT TO HAVE MY HOUSE BURNED DOWN AT ALL, THE CHATTY SOURCE SNEERED AND DECLARED, "THAT'S WHAT ARI CALLED PRE-9/11 THINKING."
THE CHATTY SOURCE THEN ADDED, "OF COURSE OUR BULLY BOY DUMMIED UP. THERE WERE MICROPHONES IN HIS FACE. HE PREFERS TO LEAK. LOOK FOR A ROBERT NOVAK COLUMN TO TELL ALL."
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THIS JUST IN!
BULLY BOY DUMMIES UP FOR THE PRESS!
CONFRONTED WITH USA TODAY'S EXPLOSIVE STORY ABOUT HIS AUTHORIZING THE SPYING ON PHONE CALLS PLACED IN THE UNITED STATES AND NOT GOING OUT OF THE UNITED STATES BY NON-SUSPECTED AMERICAN CITIZENS, BULLY BOY TROTTED OUT THE USUAL DO ANYTHING TO PROTECT THE U.S. FROM 'TERRORISM' EVEN IF IT MEANS DESTROYING EVERY RIGHT WE HAVE AND EVERY PRINCIPLE WE STAND FOR.
ONE CHATTY WHITE HOUSE INSIDER, NOT SCOTTY MCCLELLAN, ASKED THIS REPORTER, "WHAT WOULD YOU RATHER HAVE? YOUR HOUSE BURNED DOWN BY TERRORISTS OR YOUR HOUSE BURNED DOWN BY OUR BULLY BOY?"
WHEN I RESPONDED THAT I'D PREFER NOT TO HAVE MY HOUSE BURNED DOWN AT ALL, THE CHATTY SOURCE SNEERED AND DECLARED, "THAT'S WHAT ARI CALLED PRE-9/11 THINKING."
THE CHATTY SOURCE THEN ADDED, "OF COURSE OUR BULLY BOY DUMMIED UP. THERE WERE MICROPHONES IN HIS FACE. HE PREFERS TO LEAK. LOOK FOR A ROBERT NOVAK COLUMN TO TELL ALL."
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Wednesday, May 10, 2006
THIS JUST IN! HILLARY CLINTON LOVES THE BOYZ WHO CHEAT ON HER!
BULLY BOY PRESS - DC.
THIS JUST IN!
HILLARY CLINTON LOVES THE BOYZ WHO CHEAT ON HER!
ASKED TO NAME 1 THING GOOD ABOUT THE BULLY BOY SHE WENT WILD AND CRAZY AND SOFT IN THE HEAD. UNABLE TO STOP AT 1 SHE JUST KEPT TICKING OFF WHY SHE LOVES HER SOME STUPID BOYZ.
1) CHARM & CHARISMA
2) GRATEFUL TO HIM AFTER 9/11 FOR HIS "SUPPORT"
3) "GOOD COMPANY"
4) "WILLING TO TALK"
5) WHEN ASKED FOR HELP BY NYC "HE IMMEDIATELY SAID YES"
6) "ALWAYS KEPT IT ON TRACK"
7) "MADE SURE WE GOT THE RESOUCRES THAT WE NEEDED"
WHILE SHE WAS PANTING ABOUT HOW "GRATEFUL" SHE WAS TO HIM, SOMEONE FINALLY CUT OFF JOSIE LIEBERMANS MICROPHONE.
THANK GOD.
BUSY PRAISING HER BULLY BOY, SHE REALLY LOVES THE BOYS WHO CHEAT ON HER, SHE FORGOT ALL ABOUT THE ISSUE OF THE LIES FROM THE EPA THAT THE AIR WAS SAFE TO BREATHE.
CHRISTINE TODD WHITMAN WORKED FOR WHICH OVAL OFFICE OCCUPANT? ONE WAG SAID HILLARY MIGHT BE CONFUSED SO SHE SHOULD BE CLUED IN THAT CHRISTINE TODD WHITMAN "WASN'T AN INTERN."
SHE WAS APPOINTED BY THE BULLY BOY TO HEAD THE EPA. ON SEPTEMBER 13, 2001, CHRISTINE TODD WHITMAN TOLD NYC AND AMERICA THAT THE AIR AT GROUND ZERO WAS SAFE TO BREATHE.
IN FEBURARY OF THIS YEAR U.S. DISTRICT JUDGE DEBORAH A. BATTS STATED "NO REASONABLE PERSON WOULD HAVE THOUGHT THAT TELLING THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE THAT IT WAS SAFE TO RETURN TO LOWER MANHATTAN, WHILE KNOWING THAT SUCH RETURN COULD POSE LONG-TERM HEALTH RISKS AND OTHER DIRE CONSEQUENCES, WAS CONDUCT SANCTIONED BY OUR LAWS."
HOW DID IT HAPPEN? WHY WERE THE PEOPLE LIED TO? PHILIP CLAPP
SAYS:
IT'S VERY SIMPLE. THE WHITE HOUSE HAD ONE PRIORITY AFTER SEPTEMBER 11TH AND THAT WAS GET THE ENTIRE FNANCIAL DISTRICT UP AND OPERATING. GET WALL STREET GOING AGAIN. AND THE DATA ON AIR POLLUTION AND THE DNAGERS WAS MUCH LESS IMPORTANT TO THEM THAN IT WAS TO MAKE THAT HAPPEN. SO THEY WERE WILLING TO TELL THE EPA, "MISINFORM THE CITIZENS OF NEW YORK. EXPOSE THEM TO RISKS FOR THE BENEFIT OF WALL STREET FIRMS AND LAW FIRMS."
ONE THING IS CLEAR: HILLARY CLINTON STILL LOVES THE BOYZ WHO CHEAT ON HER. SHE CAN'T STOP SINGING THEIR PRAISES BE IT A BILLY (CLINTON) OR A BULLY (BOY). LIE TO HER, CHEAT ON HER, SHE JUST LOVES 'EM ALL THE MORE!!!
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THIS JUST IN!
HILLARY CLINTON LOVES THE BOYZ WHO CHEAT ON HER!
ASKED TO NAME 1 THING GOOD ABOUT THE BULLY BOY SHE WENT WILD AND CRAZY AND SOFT IN THE HEAD. UNABLE TO STOP AT 1 SHE JUST KEPT TICKING OFF WHY SHE LOVES HER SOME STUPID BOYZ.
1) CHARM & CHARISMA
2) GRATEFUL TO HIM AFTER 9/11 FOR HIS "SUPPORT"
3) "GOOD COMPANY"
4) "WILLING TO TALK"
5) WHEN ASKED FOR HELP BY NYC "HE IMMEDIATELY SAID YES"
6) "ALWAYS KEPT IT ON TRACK"
7) "MADE SURE WE GOT THE RESOUCRES THAT WE NEEDED"
WHILE SHE WAS PANTING ABOUT HOW "GRATEFUL" SHE WAS TO HIM, SOMEONE FINALLY CUT OFF JOSIE LIEBERMANS MICROPHONE.
THANK GOD.
BUSY PRAISING HER BULLY BOY, SHE REALLY LOVES THE BOYS WHO CHEAT ON HER, SHE FORGOT ALL ABOUT THE ISSUE OF THE LIES FROM THE EPA THAT THE AIR WAS SAFE TO BREATHE.
CHRISTINE TODD WHITMAN WORKED FOR WHICH OVAL OFFICE OCCUPANT? ONE WAG SAID HILLARY MIGHT BE CONFUSED SO SHE SHOULD BE CLUED IN THAT CHRISTINE TODD WHITMAN "WASN'T AN INTERN."
SHE WAS APPOINTED BY THE BULLY BOY TO HEAD THE EPA. ON SEPTEMBER 13, 2001, CHRISTINE TODD WHITMAN TOLD NYC AND AMERICA THAT THE AIR AT GROUND ZERO WAS SAFE TO BREATHE.
IN FEBURARY OF THIS YEAR U.S. DISTRICT JUDGE DEBORAH A. BATTS STATED "NO REASONABLE PERSON WOULD HAVE THOUGHT THAT TELLING THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE THAT IT WAS SAFE TO RETURN TO LOWER MANHATTAN, WHILE KNOWING THAT SUCH RETURN COULD POSE LONG-TERM HEALTH RISKS AND OTHER DIRE CONSEQUENCES, WAS CONDUCT SANCTIONED BY OUR LAWS."
HOW DID IT HAPPEN? WHY WERE THE PEOPLE LIED TO? PHILIP CLAPP
SAYS:
IT'S VERY SIMPLE. THE WHITE HOUSE HAD ONE PRIORITY AFTER SEPTEMBER 11TH AND THAT WAS GET THE ENTIRE FNANCIAL DISTRICT UP AND OPERATING. GET WALL STREET GOING AGAIN. AND THE DATA ON AIR POLLUTION AND THE DNAGERS WAS MUCH LESS IMPORTANT TO THEM THAN IT WAS TO MAKE THAT HAPPEN. SO THEY WERE WILLING TO TELL THE EPA, "MISINFORM THE CITIZENS OF NEW YORK. EXPOSE THEM TO RISKS FOR THE BENEFIT OF WALL STREET FIRMS AND LAW FIRMS."
ONE THING IS CLEAR: HILLARY CLINTON STILL LOVES THE BOYZ WHO CHEAT ON HER. SHE CAN'T STOP SINGING THEIR PRAISES BE IT A BILLY (CLINTON) OR A BULLY (BOY). LIE TO HER, CHEAT ON HER, SHE JUST LOVES 'EM ALL THE MORE!!!
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Tuesday, May 09, 2006
THIS JUST IN! IT TAKES A COWARD --- SOMETIMES TWO!
BULLY BOY PRESS - DC.
THIS JUST IN!
IT TAKES A COWARD --
SOMETIMES TWO!
NOT CONTENT TO BE KNOWN AS THE LOYAL SUCKS UP, RENEGADE CLINTONISTA EVAN BLAH IS PUSHING FOR WAR WITH IRAN WITH THE HOPES THAT IT MIGHT MAKE HIM A "REAL BOY."
JOINING IN THE MARCH OF THE WOODEN SOLDIERS IS DARK HORSE, AND RICHARD NIXON DEAD RINGER, MARK WARNER.
"SIMPLY LASHING OUT IN ANGER AT THE CURRENT ADMINISTRATION DOESN'T ACCOMPLISH WHAT WE WANT," WHINED EVAN BLAH WHILE SHOVING BOTH HANDS DOWN HIS PANTS IN AN ATTEMPT TO RELIEVE THE NASTY CASE OF BLOOD LUST HE HAS IN HIS LOINS.
FUTURE "WHO WAS HE?" WARNER AGREED QUICKLY WHILE STARING LONGINGLY AT BLAH'S HANDS AND PANTING HARD.
THE WE-CAN-GET-BEHIND-OUR-BULLY-BOY-OR-ON-OUR-KNEES-IN-FRONT-OF-HIM-OR-ON-ALL-FOURS-OR-WHATEVER-YOU-WANT-JUST-DROP-A-TWENTY-ON-THE-DRESSER CROWD GATHERED AT THE NON PROGRESSIVE GATHERING SPONSORED BY THE REPUBLICANS IN DEM-LITE PULL UPS AND TRAINING PANTS "PROGRESSIVE" POLICY INSTITUTE.
WILL MARSHALL, WHO WASN'T WANTED IN THE REPUBLICAN PARTY AND ISN'T WANTED IN THE DEMOCRATIC ONE THOUGH HE FAILS TO TAKE A HINT, WORE HIS USUAL CHEAP SUIT, GREASY GRIN AND GOP BELIEFS IN FULL.
SAID MARSHALL BETWEEN BOUTS OF BREAKING WIND, "I WRECKED THE REPUBLICAN PARTY AND NOW I WANT TO WORK MY MAGIC ON THE DEMOCRATIC ONE. I HATE EVERYONE EQUALLY."
"GOOD PLAN!" AGREED EVAN BLAH WHO REFUSED TO STAND DOWNWIND FROM MARSHALL.
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THIS JUST IN!
IT TAKES A COWARD --
SOMETIMES TWO!
NOT CONTENT TO BE KNOWN AS THE LOYAL SUCKS UP, RENEGADE CLINTONISTA EVAN BLAH IS PUSHING FOR WAR WITH IRAN WITH THE HOPES THAT IT MIGHT MAKE HIM A "REAL BOY."
JOINING IN THE MARCH OF THE WOODEN SOLDIERS IS DARK HORSE, AND RICHARD NIXON DEAD RINGER, MARK WARNER.
"SIMPLY LASHING OUT IN ANGER AT THE CURRENT ADMINISTRATION DOESN'T ACCOMPLISH WHAT WE WANT," WHINED EVAN BLAH WHILE SHOVING BOTH HANDS DOWN HIS PANTS IN AN ATTEMPT TO RELIEVE THE NASTY CASE OF BLOOD LUST HE HAS IN HIS LOINS.
FUTURE "WHO WAS HE?" WARNER AGREED QUICKLY WHILE STARING LONGINGLY AT BLAH'S HANDS AND PANTING HARD.
THE WE-CAN-GET-BEHIND-OUR-BULLY-BOY-OR-ON-OUR-KNEES-IN-FRONT-OF-HIM-OR-ON-ALL-FOURS-OR-WHATEVER-YOU-WANT-JUST-DROP-A-TWENTY-ON-THE-DRESSER CROWD GATHERED AT THE NON PROGRESSIVE GATHERING SPONSORED BY THE REPUBLICANS IN DEM-LITE PULL UPS AND TRAINING PANTS "PROGRESSIVE" POLICY INSTITUTE.
WILL MARSHALL, WHO WASN'T WANTED IN THE REPUBLICAN PARTY AND ISN'T WANTED IN THE DEMOCRATIC ONE THOUGH HE FAILS TO TAKE A HINT, WORE HIS USUAL CHEAP SUIT, GREASY GRIN AND GOP BELIEFS IN FULL.
SAID MARSHALL BETWEEN BOUTS OF BREAKING WIND, "I WRECKED THE REPUBLICAN PARTY AND NOW I WANT TO WORK MY MAGIC ON THE DEMOCRATIC ONE. I HATE EVERYONE EQUALLY."
"GOOD PLAN!" AGREED EVAN BLAH WHO REFUSED TO STAND DOWNWIND FROM MARSHALL.
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Monday, May 08, 2006
THIS JUST IN! THE TONE IS RED LIGHT DISTRICT!
BULLY BOY PRESS - DC.
THIS JUST IN!
THE TONE IS RED LIGHT DISTRICT!
BULLY BOY INTRODUCED HIS BOY "MIKE."
BULLY BOY, WHO GETS GIDDY WHEN HE SPEAKS OF FRIENDS FORCED TO CALL HIM "PRESIDENT" (EVEN HIS FRIENDS HAVE TO BE FORCED TO USE THE TERM), INTRODUCED HIS PICK FOR DIRECTOR OF THE CENTRAL INTELLIGENCE AGENCY: "MIKE."
SOME WONDERED IF BULLY BOY MIGHT HAVE MISTAKEN AIR FORCE GENERAL MICHAEL HAYDEN FOR ONE OF HIS ROLL DOGS?
NOT TRUE SAYS ONE INSIDE SOURCE, WHO IS NOT WHITE HOUSE LAPDOG SCOTTY MCCLELLAN, "ACTUALLY, OUR FEARLESS LEADER KEPT CONFUSING HAYDEN WITH THE FATHER FROM DIFF'RENT STROKES. HE KEPT WANTING TO CALL THE GENERAL 'MR. DRUMMOND.'"
WHAT IS THIS ABOUT?
"HE PROMISED TO CHANGE THE TONE IN D.C. AND HE HAS," THE INSIDE SOURCE SAYS. "IT'S NOW A RED LIGHT DISTRICT."
WHICH MAY EXPLAIN THE FBI'S INVESTIGATION OF "DUSTY" FOR ALLEGED INVOLVEMENT IN A CONGRESSIONAL SCANDAL THAT APPEARS TO BE BECOMING A PROSTITUTION SCANDAL. "DUSTY" IS BETTER KNOWN AS THE SOON TO BE FORMER CIA EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR KYLE FOGGO.
SAID SOURCE, "OH GREAT! THINGS GO FREAKY JUST WHEN IT'S TIME FOR ME TO GET BACK TO TEXAS! I MISS ALL THE FREAKY FUN!"
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THIS JUST IN!
THE TONE IS RED LIGHT DISTRICT!
BULLY BOY INTRODUCED HIS BOY "MIKE."
BULLY BOY, WHO GETS GIDDY WHEN HE SPEAKS OF FRIENDS FORCED TO CALL HIM "PRESIDENT" (EVEN HIS FRIENDS HAVE TO BE FORCED TO USE THE TERM), INTRODUCED HIS PICK FOR DIRECTOR OF THE CENTRAL INTELLIGENCE AGENCY: "MIKE."
SOME WONDERED IF BULLY BOY MIGHT HAVE MISTAKEN AIR FORCE GENERAL MICHAEL HAYDEN FOR ONE OF HIS ROLL DOGS?
NOT TRUE SAYS ONE INSIDE SOURCE, WHO IS NOT WHITE HOUSE LAPDOG SCOTTY MCCLELLAN, "ACTUALLY, OUR FEARLESS LEADER KEPT CONFUSING HAYDEN WITH THE FATHER FROM DIFF'RENT STROKES. HE KEPT WANTING TO CALL THE GENERAL 'MR. DRUMMOND.'"
WHAT IS THIS ABOUT?
"HE PROMISED TO CHANGE THE TONE IN D.C. AND HE HAS," THE INSIDE SOURCE SAYS. "IT'S NOW A RED LIGHT DISTRICT."
WHICH MAY EXPLAIN THE FBI'S INVESTIGATION OF "DUSTY" FOR ALLEGED INVOLVEMENT IN A CONGRESSIONAL SCANDAL THAT APPEARS TO BE BECOMING A PROSTITUTION SCANDAL. "DUSTY" IS BETTER KNOWN AS THE SOON TO BE FORMER CIA EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR KYLE FOGGO.
SAID SOURCE, "OH GREAT! THINGS GO FREAKY JUST WHEN IT'S TIME FOR ME TO GET BACK TO TEXAS! I MISS ALL THE FREAKY FUN!"
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Friday, May 05, 2006
THIS JUST IN! WHICH RAT WILL BE THE LAST TO LEAVE?
BULLY BOY PRESS - DC.
THIS JUST IN!
WHICH RAT WILL BE THE LAST TO LEAVE?
PORTER GOSS, CIA DIRECTOR, BECOMES THE LATEST CHEESE EATER TO JUMP SHIP. OR WAS HE PUSHED?
WAGS ARE WHISPERING THAT NATIONAL INTELLIGENCE DIRECTOR JOHN NEGROPONTE SPOKE WITH GOSS ABOUT THE "POSSIBILITY" OF GOSS STEPPING DOWN. DID NEGROPONTE THREATEN TO HAVE SOME OF HIS HONDURAN BUDDIES HELP GOSS MAKE THE DECISION?
SOME ARE POINTING OUT SIMILARITIES TO THE SUMMER OF 2001 WHEN THE FBI WAS WITHOUT LEADERSHIP. OTHERS ARE WONDERING WHERE THE ANNOUNCEMENT OF "SPEND MORE TIME WITH MY FAMILY" IS?
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THIS JUST IN!
WHICH RAT WILL BE THE LAST TO LEAVE?
PORTER GOSS, CIA DIRECTOR, BECOMES THE LATEST CHEESE EATER TO JUMP SHIP. OR WAS HE PUSHED?
WAGS ARE WHISPERING THAT NATIONAL INTELLIGENCE DIRECTOR JOHN NEGROPONTE SPOKE WITH GOSS ABOUT THE "POSSIBILITY" OF GOSS STEPPING DOWN. DID NEGROPONTE THREATEN TO HAVE SOME OF HIS HONDURAN BUDDIES HELP GOSS MAKE THE DECISION?
SOME ARE POINTING OUT SIMILARITIES TO THE SUMMER OF 2001 WHEN THE FBI WAS WITHOUT LEADERSHIP. OTHERS ARE WONDERING WHERE THE ANNOUNCEMENT OF "SPEND MORE TIME WITH MY FAMILY" IS?
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Thursday, May 04, 2006
THIS JUST IN! AIN'T EASY TO IMPRESS ALBERTO GONZALES!
BULLY BOY PRESS - DC.
THIS JUST IN!
AIN'T EASY TO IMPRESS ALBERTO GONZALES.
"WE ALL KNOW RENDITIONS, IN AND OF ITSELF, IS NOTHING EXTRAORDINARY," ALBERTO GONZALES SNIFFED.
ATTORNEY GENERAL AND BOTH NATIONAL AND INTERNATIONAL WINNER IN THE BILLIE JEAN KING LOOK ALIKE CONTEST.SHOCKED MANY WITH WHAT SOME ARE CALLING HIS "CATTY" REMARK.
AN INSIDE WHITE HOUSE SOURCE, WHO IS NOT SCOTTY MCCLELLAN AND WANTS TO KNOW WHY EVERYONE THINKS IT IS SCOTTY MCCLELLAN, SAYS THE ATTORNEY GENERAL HAS BEEN MIFFED SINCE HIS ATTEMPTED MADONNA UP FAILED TO GET ATTENTION.
"YOU GOTTA' UNDERSTAND," SAID THE SOURCE, "WHEN J-ASS RULED THE JUSTICE DEPARTMENT, THE NATION TREMBLED. IT WAS 'JOHN ASHCROFT THIS' AND 'JOHN ASHCROFT THAT' BUT NOW? IT'S LIKE 'AW, IT'S JUST LITTLE ALBIE, WHO CARES?' "
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"Lynne Stewart hosts a film festival May 4th 7:00PM 40 E. 35th Street, NYC"
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Wednesday, May 03, 2006
THIS JUST IN! DOES CONDI HEAR BELLS?
BULLY BOY PRESS - DC.
THIS JUST IN!
DOES CONDI HEAR BELLS?
WHILE DICK CHENEY GEARS UP FOR HIS 'FREEDOM' TOUR (FULL TITLE: FREEDOM TO TORTURE! AS CROOKED AS I WANNA BE!) AND BULLY BOY ANTICIPATES HIS FLORIDA TRIP NEXT WEEK WHERE HE WILL PROMISE
EACH SENIOR WHO SIGNS UP TO HIS NEW MEDICARE PLAN 3 FREE CDS WITH THE AGREEMENT THAT THEY PURCHASE 92 MORE AT REGULAR COST OVER THE NEXT 3 YEARS, WHO'S WATCHING CONDI?
WAGS ARE WAGGING THAT CONDI RICE HAS FINALLY FOUND A MAN SHE HAS SOMETHING IN COMMON WITH.
WHO'S THE LUCKY JOE?
TEODORO OBIANG NGUEMA, THE PRESIDENT OF EQUATORIAL GUINEAN.
NO-ONE-COULD-HAVE-GUESSED-CONDI, AS FRIENDS CALL HER, IS AS SURPRISED AS ANYONE TO FIND HERSELF IN LOVE WITH TEODORO.
"WE'RE LIKE BRAD AND ANGELINA," SHE REPORTEDLY TOLD ONE FRIEND.
"WE JUST FIT. HE GETS ME. REALLY GETS ME. YOU KNOW HE'S SAID ON STATE RADIO THAT HE'S GOD. THAT REALLY TURNS ME ON IN A MAN! WHILE MOST OF THE PEOPLE IN HIS COUNTRY LIVE ON LESS THAN A DOLLAR DAY, HE'S WORTH OVER $300 MILLION! IT'S NOT THE MONEY, YOU UNDERSTAND, JUST THE CRUELTY FACTOR INVOLVED. THAT'S WHAT EXCITES ME."
DETERMINED TO KEEP TEODORO AWAY FROM SPURNED SUITER MARK THATCHER, CONDI'S KEEPING FRIENDS' AT ARMS LENGTH.
"SHE GOT TIRED OF SHARING," A FRIEND WHO IS NOT NAMED SCOTTY MCCLELLAN EXPLAINED.
CONDI'S BEEN OBSERVED TEACHING HIM TO SAY "YA'LL" AND "HOWDY." REPORTEDLY SHE'S GROOMING HIM TO RUN FOR GOVERNOR OF TEXAS "AND THEN THE WORLD!"
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Tuesday, May 02, 2006
THIS JUST IN! BULLY BOY LAGGING!
BULLY BOY PRESS - DC.
THIS JUST IN!
BULLY BOY LAGGING.
AS OVER 1.5 MILLION AND MAYBE AS MANY AS 2 MILLION (OR MORE) TOOK PART IN THE IMMIGRATION DEMONSTRATIONS, RALLIES AND BOYCOTTS YESTERDAY, BULLY BOY'S BEEN HAVING TROUBLE GETTING THAT RUMORED "MOJO" BACK.
FIRST THERE WAS THE SLAP IN THE FACE FROM CONDI RICE AND THE STATE DEPARTMENT AFTER BULLY BOY MANGLED THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE WHILE SUGGESTING THAT IF YOU CAN'T SPEAK ENGLISH, YOU MIGHT NEED TO FIND ANOTHER COUNTRY OR ELSE STAY SILENT. TURNS OUT THE STATE DEPARTMENT FEATURES FOREIGN LANGUAGE AUDIO FILES ON ITS OFFICIAL WEBSITE.
NOW COMES NEWS THAT BULLY BOY'S STATEMENT LAST WEEK OPPOSING BOYCOTTS ALSO HAD NO LEGS.
TO TOM BROKAW, BULLY BOY SAID, "I MEAN, THE DIXIE CHICKS ARE FREE TO SPEAK THEIR MIND. THEY CAN SAY WHAT THEY WANT TO SAY. AND JUST BECAUSE -- THEY SHOULDN'T HAVE THEIR FEELINGS HURT JUST BECAUSE SOME PEOPLE DON'T WANT TO BUY THEIR RECORDS WHEN THEY SPEAK OUT."
WHEN CONFRONTED WITH BULLY BOY'S STATEMENTS FROM APRIL 24, 2003, STATEMENTS THAT DO NOT SAY "THE DIXIE CHICKS SHOULD NOT BE BOYCOTTED!", WHITE HOUSE LAP DOG SCOTTY MCCLELLAN LOOKED A LITTLE SAD. THEN HE PERKED UP AND SAID, "THE BULLY BOY DID NOT SAY HE WAS AGAINST 'BOYCOTTS.' HE SAID HE WAS AGAINST 'BOY CROTCHES.' ANYONE WHO HAS OBSERVED HIS EAR HAIRS KNOWS THAT 'MAN SCAPING' IS NOT SOMETHING OUR BULLY BOY TAKES PART IN."
"SO YOU ARE SAYING THE BULLY BOY IS AGAINST BOY CROTCHES!"
"YES," REPLIED SCOTT MCCLELLAN.
IMMEDIATELY CRIES RANG UP FROM THE DC PRESS CORP WHO APPEARED TO WAKE FOR THE FIRST TIME IN SIX YEARS.
"WHAT ARE THE BOYS' NAMES!"
"HOW LONG HAS HE BEEN AGAINST BOY CROTCHES!"
"DOES HE HAVE SLEEP OVERS LIKE MICHAEL JACKSON!"
"SEX SCANDAL!" CHORTLED LISA MYERS. "HOT DAMN! DC'S FINALLY COME BACK TO LIFE!"
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Monday, May 01, 2006
THIS JUST IN! BULLY BOY TIMES 2 STILL NOT FUNNY!
BULLY BOY PRESS - DC.
THIS JUST IN!
LAST NIGHT IN DC AT THE WHITE HOUSE CORRESPONDENTS' ASSOCIATION, BULLY BOY BROUGHT ON A BUDDY, ONE STEVE BRIDGES WHO IMPERSONATES THE BULLY BOY.
AS THE TWO ATTEMPTED TO YUCK IT UP WITH BAD JOKES CONSIDERING THAT HE IS BULLY BOY OF THE UNITED STATES AND THAT DICK CHENEY IS HIS RIGHT HAND MAN/COACH/MENTOR/WET NURSE. (TOPICS INCLUDED DICK CHENEY SHOOTING A MAN.) MOST WERE LEFT TO WONDER WHY BULLY BOY ELECTED TO UTILIZE THIS MOMENT TO DEMONSTRATE THAT, AS IN ANY THIRD WORLD REGIME, HE MUST EMPLOY PHYSICAL IMPERSONATERS.
"PEOPLE LAUGHED AT SADDAM HUSSEIN FOR HIS ARMY OF HUSSEIN A-LIKES," ADMITTED ONE WAG. "IT JUST MAKES NO SENSE THAT BULLY BOY WOULD WANT THE WORLD TO KNOW THAT HERE, IN THE UNITED STATES, WE HAVE TO EMPLOY THE SAME DEVICE."
SOME FELT IT WAS A DESPERATION MOVE RESULTING FROM THE STONEY SILENCE THAT GREETED HIS ATTEMPT AT A JOKE WEDNESDAY WHEN HE INTRODUCED THE WORLD TO HIS LATEST HOUSE PET, TONY SNOW.
GRINNING WIDELY, AND EYES DANCING IN ANTICIPATION, BULLY BOY DECLARED, "FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO HAVE READ HIS COLUMNS AND LISTENED TO HIS RADIO SHOW, HE SOMETIMES HAS DISAGREED WITH ME. I ASKED HIM ABOUT THOSE COMMENTS, AND HE SAID, 'YOU SHOULD HAVE HEARD WHAT I SAID ABOUT THE OTHER GUY.' "
AT WHICH POINT, BULLY BOY LOOKED AROUND FOR A LAUGH THAT NEVER CAME BEFORE ATTEMPTING TO PLAY OFF THIS VERY PUBLIC HUMILIATION OF PRESS LAP DOGS REFUSING TO LAP UP HIS SOP.
DID THIS LEAD TO SUNDAY'S NIGHT EMBARRASSING PERFORMANCE?
NO ONE CAN BE SURE BUT THIS MORNING, ON THE THIRD ANNIVERSARY OF HIS INFAMOUS ANNOUNCEMENT THAT MAJOR COMBAT OPERATIONS HAD ENDED IN IRAQ IN FRONT OF A BANNER THAT READ "MISSION ACCOMPLISHED," BULLY BOY WAS BACK TO 'JOSHING' AS HE EXPRESSED HIS FIRM CONFIDENCE IN THE CURRENT IRAQI LEADERSHIP INSTALLED AND HAND PICKED BY THE U.S. GOVERNMENT.
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Saturday, April 29, 2006
THIS JUST ! TRANSLATIONS FRIGHTEN THE BULLY BOY
BULLY BOY PRESS - DC.
THIS JUST IN!
TRANSLATIONS FRIGHTEN THE BULLY BOY!
POSSIBLY EXPLAINING THE FAILURES OF THE FBI TRANSLATION DEPARTMENT, BULLY BOY DECLARED HIMSELF FRIDAY AS AGAINST THE SINGING OF THE NATIONAL ANTHEM IN SPANISH.
WHEN ASKED WHY, BULLY BOY REPLIED, "PEOPLE GOT TOO MUCH . . . TOO MUCH UNDERSTANDINGS. WE GOT TOO MUCH UNDERSTANDINGS GOING ON. WHAT WE HAVE HERE IS A FAILURE TO MISCOMMUNICATE. TOO MUCH UNDERSTANDINGS. WE LET THIS ONE SLIDE BY AND PRETTY SOON 'SWEET HOME ALABAMA' BECOMES 'SWEET CASA JUAREZ.' WHERE DOES IT END? IT'S LIKE WHEN I GO TO TACO BELL. I WON'T ORDER A 'BURRITO.' I ASK FOR THE 'WRAP AROUND.' IT'S ABOUT BEING AMERICAN. OR LIKE WHEN I DRINK A
. . . WHEN I USED TO DRINK. I WON'T ORDER A 'MARGARITA.' I ASK FOR, I ASKED FOR A SLURPEE WITH ALCOHOL. IT'S ABOUT SAVING THE CULTURE. THIS COUNTRY WAS BUILT UPON SAVING CULTURE. THAT'S WHY WE STOOD UP TO THE INJUNS. IMAGINE IF WE HADN'T DONE THAT. WE'D ALL BE SPEAKING LAKOTANEESE RIGHT NOW."
BULLY BOY ALSO SPOKE OUT AGAINST THE MAY 1ST BOYCOTTS AND WORK STOPPAGE.
"IF PEOPLE STOP WORKING FOR A DAY," HE EXPLAINED, "WE MIGHT HAVE LESS CARS ON THE ROAD. THAT COULD CREATE AN ENERGY CRISIS. I'M DEALING WITH GLOBAL WARMING BY REDUCING THE EMISSIONS LAWS. PEOPLE NEED TO DEAL WITH THE RISING PRICE OF GAS BY GOING ABOUT THEIR DAILY BUSINESS IN AS MANY CARS AS POSSIBLE. GET ON THE ROAD, DRIVE TO WORK. DRIVE FROM WORK. DRIVE AROUND YOUR CITY. USE THE GAS. THAT'S HOW WE CONFRONT AN ENERGY CRISIS. ME AND DICK [CHENEY] ARE SERIOUSLY DISCUSSING USING NUKES ON PEOPLE WHO RIDE BUSES. IF WE DON'T CONFRONT THE ENEMY IN FRONT OF US, HE MIGHT SNEAK UP BEHIND US. DICK SAYS THEY GIVE WEDGIES AND WET WILLIES AND I AM THE LEADER OF THE FREE WORLD SO I'LL BE DADGUMMED IF ANY ONE'S GOING TO DO THAT TO ME. THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME. GOD BLESS AMERICA. VOTE FOR ME IN 2006. GOD BLESS YOU."
WHEN NEW WHITE HOUSE LAP DOG TONY SNOW WAS ASKED ABOUT THE "VOTE FOR ME IN 2006" COMMENT, HE REPLIED, "THE BULLY BOY IS ALWAYS RUNNING. HE IS A MAN OF ACTION. HE NEVER STOPS."
WHEN PRODDED FURTHER, WHITE HOUSE LAP DOG SNOW REFUSED TO CONCEED THAT THE BULLY BOY HAD MISPOKEN.
"OUR LEADER DOES NOT MISSPEAK," INSISTED SNOW. "THE PEOPLE MAY MISHEAR, BUT BULLY BOY NEVER MISSPEAKS. IN FACT IT IS THE PEOPLE WHO ARE TO BLAME FOR US BEING IN IRAQ. THEY MISHEARD. THE BULLY BOY DID NOT MISPEAK."
SOME WAGS ARE LABELING IT: "FOX COMES TO THE WHITE HOUSE."
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Thursday, April 27, 2006
THIS JUST IN! "BROKEBACK EACH OTHER'S MOUNTAINS!" SCREAMS SNOW
BULLY BOY PRESS - DC.
THIS JUST IN!
"BROKEBACK EACH OTHER'S MOUNTAINS!" SCREAMS SNOW.
FOLLOWING YESTERDAY'S NEWS THAT BULLY BOY HAD TAPPED IT, TONY SNOW -- SOON TO BE WHITE HOUSE PRESS SECRETARY AND CUDDLY PET --
ATTEMPTED TO MAKE IT CLEAR THAT HE IS NOT JUST A BULLY BOY BEEOCH.
DESPITE THIS, PROFESSIONAL MATCHMAKER AND YENTA, BILLY KRISTOL PRONOUNCED THE NEW RELATIONSHIP AS "HEALTHY." KRISTOL WENT ON TO DESCRIBE TONY SNOW AS "A HAPPY GO-LUCKY GUY" BUT REFUSED ANY FOLLOW UP QUESTIONS ATTEMPTING TO DETERMINE IF HE WAS SPEAKING "IN CODE."
WHEN ASKED WHAT SORT OF RELATIONSHIP HE WAS STRIVING FOR, TONY SNOW REMINDED REPORTERS OF HIS COLUMN WHERE HE USED THE WORD "SIR" TO ADDRESS THE BULLY BOY. CLEARLY SNOW IS HOPING TO BE THE MARCI TO BULLY BOY'S PEPPERMINT PATTI. WHILE CONDI RICE'S HAIR CLEARLY MAKES HER LUCY, THE CASTING OF LINUS IS STILL UP IN THE AIR. DEVELOPING.
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"March for Peace, Justice & Democracy, April 29,2006, NYC"
"Other Items (Pacifica broadcast Iraq Forum from DC today)"
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"March for Peace, Justice & Democracy, April 29,2006, NYC"
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Wednesday, April 26, 2006
THIS JUST IN! BULLY BOY TAPS IT!
BULLY BOY PRESS - DC.
THIS JUST IN!
BULLY BOY TAPS IT!
"HE WILL BRING A LOT . . .," SOON TO BE FORMER WHITE HOUSE LAP DOG SCOTTY MCCLELLAN BEGAN BEFORE BREAKING INTO SOBS AT THE THOUGHT OF BEING REPLACED IN BULLY BOY'S HEART BY TV PERSONALITY TONY SNOW WHO BULLY BOY HAS TAPPED TO FILL SCOTTY'S CHAIN-LINK COLLAR.
WHILE THIS ROUND OF AMERICAN IDOLATRY PLAYED OUT WITH ALL THE SNAP OF A CLAY AIKEN SONG, BULLY BOY COULD BE SEEN GLOATING WITH TV PERSONALITY TONY SNOW.
"HIS ONLY REAL AMBITION," CONFESSED 1 CLOSE FRIEND, "WAS TO BE CENTER SQUARE ON THE HOLLYWOOD SQAURES. THEN BULLY BOY TAPPED IT AND NOW THAT'S ALL TONY CAN THINK ABOUT IT."
"WHICH MUST BE WHY," OFFERED SOMEONE WHO ASKED TO REMAIN ANONYMOUS BUT SOMEONE WHO IS NOT SCOTT MCCLELLAN, "HE USES THOSE CHEAP CREST STRIPTS FOR HIS FRONT TEETH ONLY."
WHILE IT IS TRUE THAT TONY SNOW'S TEETH ARE FAR MORE YELLOW ON THE SIDE, BULLY BOY PRESS HAS BEEN UNABLE TO CONFIRM WHETHER OR NOT SNOW USES CREST-STRIPS.
BULLY BOY WAS SEEN STRUTTING THROUGH THE WHITE HOUSE, BACK SLAPPING, AND HOLLERING, "HOOO-WEEE! TAPPED IT!"
ANNOUNCEMENT FROM DANNY SCHECHTER:
SCHEDULE
Thanks for tuning in. I will be speaking in Boston at Emerson College on Friday at 7 PM. The film The Jihadi and the Journalist which I worked on opens at the Tribeca Film Festival on the 27th, and South African Broadcasting’s SABC 1 airs on April 26th on SABC 1 at 9 PM. Amandla!
Thanks for tuning in. I will be speaking in Boston at Emerson College on Friday at 7 PM. The film The Jihadi and the Journalist which I worked on opens at the Tribeca Film Festival on the 27th, and South African Broadcasting’s SABC 1 airs on April 26th on SABC 1 at 9 PM. Amandla!
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Tuesday, April 25, 2006
THIS JUST IN! THE DEALER IN CHIEF
BULLY BOY PRESS - DC.
THIS JUST IN!
THE DEALER IN CHIEF!
TODAY, AT THE RENEWABLE FUELS ASSOCIATION, BULLY BOY SAID, "OUR ADDICTION TO OIL IS A MATTER OF NATIONAL SECURITY CONCERNS."
THEREFORE, BULLY BOY WILL BE LOWERING ENVIRONMENTAL GUIDELINES BECAUSE "EVERY LITTLE BIT HELPS."
SAME THING THE DEALER ON THE CORNER OUTSIDE THE MIDDLE SCHOOL SAYS.
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THIS JUST IN!
THE DEALER IN CHIEF!
TODAY, AT THE RENEWABLE FUELS ASSOCIATION, BULLY BOY SAID, "OUR ADDICTION TO OIL IS A MATTER OF NATIONAL SECURITY CONCERNS."
THEREFORE, BULLY BOY WILL BE LOWERING ENVIRONMENTAL GUIDELINES BECAUSE "EVERY LITTLE BIT HELPS."
SAME THING THE DEALER ON THE CORNER OUTSIDE THE MIDDLE SCHOOL SAYS.
Recommended: "NYT: Taking a look at the pipeline, ignoring other things"
"Law and Disorder, Iraq and more (including Jane Fonda quote)"
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"Longer version of 'Quick post'"
"Cover to Cover with Denny Smithson (Interviewing Jane Fonda)"
"Antonia Juhasz on The Bush Agenda: Invading the World, One Economy at a Time"
Monday, April 24, 2006
THIS JUST IN! BULLY BOY NEEDS HELP COUNTING!
BULLY BOY PRESS - IRVINE, CA.
THIS JUST IN!
BULLY BOY NEEDS HELP COUNTING!
SPEAKING IN IRVINE, CALIFORNIA TODAY, BULLY BOY, THE OFFICIAL BULLY BOY OF THE UNITED STATES, ATTEMPTED TO GRAB A LITTLE OF THE IMMIGRATION HEADLINES TO SPIN PEOPLE'S ATTENTION FROM IRAQ.
WHEN THAT DID NOT WORK, BULLY BOY STATED THAT ON THE LARGER ISSUES, HE WOULD DO IT AGAIN, BUT MAYBE THERE WERE SOME MISSTEPS ALONG THE WAY.
MISSTEPS?
MAYBE 2389 MISSTEPS?
HAVING LOST IN THE POLLS, SPECULATIONS ABOUND ABOUT THE BULLY BOY. ONE IS "WHAT HAPPENS NOW THAT HE IS CORNERED?" THE OTHER IS "HAS HE LOST IT?"
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THIS JUST IN!
BULLY BOY NEEDS HELP COUNTING!
SPEAKING IN IRVINE, CALIFORNIA TODAY, BULLY BOY, THE OFFICIAL BULLY BOY OF THE UNITED STATES, ATTEMPTED TO GRAB A LITTLE OF THE IMMIGRATION HEADLINES TO SPIN PEOPLE'S ATTENTION FROM IRAQ.
WHEN THAT DID NOT WORK, BULLY BOY STATED THAT ON THE LARGER ISSUES, HE WOULD DO IT AGAIN, BUT MAYBE THERE WERE SOME MISSTEPS ALONG THE WAY.
MISSTEPS?
MAYBE 2389 MISSTEPS?
HAVING LOST IN THE POLLS, SPECULATIONS ABOUND ABOUT THE BULLY BOY. ONE IS "WHAT HAPPENS NOW THAT HE IS CORNERED?" THE OTHER IS "HAS HE LOST IT?"
Recommended: "And the war drags on"
"NYT: Tavernise is lost in Iraq and Weisman just lost period"
"Hawaii and we're overrun with Fluff"
"Cookie Marshmallow Cups in the Kitchen"
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