Monday, May 29, 2006

The news

Good morning, it's Memorial Day, Monday, May 29, 2006. Here are a collection of news stories put together by The Third Estate Sunday Review's Dona, Jess, Ty, Ava and Jim;
Cedric of Cedric's Big Mix;
Wally of The Daily Jot,
Trina of Trina's Kitchen
and Dallas.

Starting with the Iraq snapshot.

In Baghdad Sunday, Sheik Osama al-Jadaan and at least one of his bodyguards is dead as a result of an ambush. al-Jadaan had been seen by some as an ally with the US administration. al-Jadaan and the bodyguard were among the at least nine Iraqis who were killed on Sunday, roadside bombs continued to be a party of Iraqi daily life and another daily feature continued as at least ten more corpses were found in Baghdad. There have been sixty American military deaths for the month of May bringing the fatality count to 2464 since the illegal invasion in March of 2003. In addition to American military helicopter pilots are missing, the AFP reports, after the helicopter crashed on Saturday. In Baquba, a new feature to the occupation emerged as three severed heads were flung out of a moving vehicle. Near Baquba, Monday has already seen eleven die from a bombing, Reuters reports. This as the United States Pentagon believes their investigation into the apparent slaughter of civilians in Haditha is winding down -- the estimated 24 civilians died in November. United States House Representative John Mutha maintains that what happened in November is as important as apparent attempts to cover up the events and to stall an investigation into them.
United States Senator John Warner has stated that the Senate Arms Committee, which he chairs, will hold a full investigation into "what happened . . . when it happened . . . what was the immediate reaction of the senior officers."

Meanwhile Nouri al-Maliki, Iraqi prime minister, has failed to meet another one of his predicitions. He set a date for himself to establish his cabinet and he didn't meet it. He just managed to meet the constitutional deadline (May 22) for the cabinet but did so only by
leaving posts vacant. Last week, he announced that he would be fill the vacant posts this weekend. Unless Iraq's having a three day weekend, he's again failed another of his own predicitions -- there remains no heads for the interior, defense and homeland security ministries.

This as Andy McSmith reports (Independent of London) that British troops in Iraq are now being attacked attacked sixty times a month since the start of the year, an increase of 26% since last year. This as the BBC reports that at least 1,000 British troops have deserted since the start of the illegal war.

In Indonesia, an earthquake on Saturday has now claimed the lives of at least 5115.
Heavy rains are preventing some attempts at rescue. This as the Phillipines have been hit with an earthquake that measured 5.3 on the Richter scale -- no injuries or deaths are reported.
The Indonesian earthquake was measured 6.2 on the Richter scale and the United Nations Disaster Assessment and Coordination (UNDAC) immediately went on alert with news of the quake. Aid agencies, including the Indoensian Red Cross, began providing assistance on Saturday including foods; however, as noted earlier, heavy rains are preventing some attempts at rescue and relief. IPS reports that this is Indonesia's worst disaster since the tsunami in December 2004 and that doctors and medical supplies are in short supply.
"The International Federation of Red Cross and Red Crescent Societies is launching an emergency appeal for 12 million Swiss francs ($9.79 million USD/ €7.68 million) to support the Indonesian Red Cross (PMI) in providing assistance to the survivors of the earthquake." As noted on KPFA's Evening News Sunday, people are sleeping in the streets as they await emergency assistance and the United States government has pledged 2.5 million dollars while the Euopean Union has pledged 3.8 million dollars.


In the United States, fire fighters have discovered the body of another victim of last fall's Hurricane Katrina "in the rear laundry room" of a New Orleans house they were searching.
The current official count of those killed by Hurricane Katrina is 1577.

In Afghanistan, a demonstration was held following a traffic incident. The BBC reports that four died when a US convoy entered rush hour traffic. The AP reports that three humvees were involved on the US side and quotes eye witness Mohammad Wali, "The American convoy hit all the vehicles which were in their way. They didn't care about the civilians at all." At least four demonstrators have died, shot by "U.S. and Afghan security forces."

Meanwhile, as the situation on the ground in East Timor grows more dangerous and deadly,
the United Nations is relocating UN family members and non-essential staff to Darwin Australia. Last week, East Timor handed over security duties to Australian forces following shootings, houses being set on fire and other violence. East Timor's president and prime minister are holding talks to discuss resolutions to the current situation while crowds have gathered outside the presidential palace calling for the resignation of the prime minister. The International Federation of Red Cross and Red Screscent Socities trace the current wave of violence to
March of this year and are attempting to assist over 25,000 displaced persons. The IFRCRSS's estimates that 50,000 have left their homes due to the current violence. As the violence continues Australia's Federal Justice Minister Chris Ellison has been quoted as saying,
"The United Nations, though, was the lead agency in all of this and the United Nations was, it had planned to pull out in a month's time. So I think really it's a question of the United Nations in this issue of whether people pulled out or not. It was the lead agency, not Australia." Peter Lewis reports that the New Zealand embassy in East Timor had to temporarily relocate the the Australian embassay due to threats from "armed thugs."


Yesterday, though the San Francisco Giants lost to the Colorado Rockies, Barry Bonds broke Babe Ruth's record for home runs. Bonds' 715 home runs now leaves him ahead of Ruth but behind Hank Aaron (755).

Though it seems long ago that Harriet Miers was in the running for the United States Supreme Court, those who remember the media coverage will remember Texas Supreme Court Justice Nathan Hecht. The media friendly Hecht has received an admonishment from the Texas Commission on Judicial Conduct for "improperly using his position" to promote Miers in an estimated "120 newspaper, TV and radio interviews" after he offered his services to the White House as some sort of go-to-guy for the media. Hecht is appealing the admonishment. In other United States governmental news, Feminist Wire Daily reports Brett Kavanaugh confirmation to the US Court of Appeals for the District of Columbia "by a 57-36 vote." The Washington Post once described Kavanaugh as "a protege" of Kenneth Starr. In The Clinton Wars, Sidney Blumenthal recounts David Brock's statement that while watching the 1998 State of the Union address, Kavanaugh hissed "b*tch" at the TV when Hillary Clinton was shown onscreen. The co-author of the Starr Report now holds a lifetime seat on the court.

In news on the NSA warrantless, illegal spying on American citizens, Bully Boy is attempting to invoke the "state secrets privilege" to stop legal actions. The Center for Constitutional Rights Shayna Kadidal notes, "The Bush Administration is trying to crush a very strong case against domestic spying without any evidence or argument. This is a mysterious and undemocratic request, since the administration says the reason the court is being asked to drop the case is a secret. I think it's a clear choice: can the President tell the courts which cases they can rule on? If so, the courts will never be able to hold the President accountable for breaking the law. If the Executive Branch can secretly squash legal challenges to its conduct like this, then American democracy as we know it is in danger." The administration filed papers Friday arguing that "New York and Michigan to dismiss a pair of lawsuits filed over the National Security Agency's domestic eavesdropping program, saying litigating them would jeopardize state secrets." Also attempting to quash legal actions that might lead to further embarrasment is AT&T "which filed a 25-page legal brief" arguing that the Electronic Frontier Foundation's class action suit should be dismissed. The AT&T brief had contained redactions but a few simple computer steps allowed the redactions to be made visible. The brief does not confirm the existance of the secret room (reported on in Wired's "Whistle-Blower's Evidence, Uncut" and "AT&T's Implementation of NSA Spying on American Citizens, 31 December 2005") but argues that "'the same physical equipment could be utilized exclusively for other surveillance in full compliance with' the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act."

In other news, Amnesty is launching Irrepressible.info to highlight "governments using the net to suppress dissent."

In Cannes, director Ken Loach has won the prestigious Palme d'Or for his film on Ireland's fight for independence from England -- The Wind That Shakes the Barley. Reuters reports "The 69-year-old film maker told Reuters in an interview earlier in the festival that the Irish fight for independence against an empire imposing its will on a foreign people had resonances with the US occupation of Iraq today."


Amy Goodman noted the scheduled topic for today's Democracy Now! (noted on Thursday's Democracy Now!):

On Monday, we bring you an exclusive interview with British Lieutenant Commander Steve Tatham, former head of the British Royal Navy's Media Operations in the Northern Arabian Gulf during the Iraq invasion. He’s author of Losing Arab Hearts and Minds.

In addition to being able to watch it on TV or listen to it on the radio, remember that you can listen, watch or read (transcripts) online at Democracy Now!

This morning on KPFK (time given is PST):


Uprising! --
Weekday Mornings from 8:00 to 9:00 am
Coming up on Uprising on Monday May 29th: A memorial day special with Stephen Kinzer on Overthrow : America's Century of Regime Change from Hawaii to Iraq.

This evening on WBAI (time given is EST):

7:00-midnight: Building Bridges-Your Community and Labor Report
With Mimi Rosenberg and Ken Nash, a five-hour marathon special featuring Greg Palast's latest investigative book,
Armed Madhouse : Who's Afraid of Osama Wolf?, China Floats, Bush Sinks, The Scheme to Steal '08, No Child's Behind Left, and Other Dispatches from the Front Lines of the Class War.

Thought for the day from the Mamas and the Papas's "Too Late" (off the album The Papas & the Mamas) : "Cause when the mind that once was open shuts / And you knock on the door, nobody answers anymore/ When the love and trust has turned to dust/ When the mind that once was open shuts . . ." ("and no one can get in").




































Friday, May 26, 2006

THIS JUST IN! BULLY BOY GOES 'WOOPS!'

BULLY BOY PRESS AND CEDRIC'S BIG MIX - DC.

THIS JUST IN!

BULLY BOY GOES 'WOOPS!'

SPEAKING IN THE NATION'S CAPITAL WITH LAP DOG AND HAND MAIDEN TONY BLAIR BESIDE HIM, BULLY BOY SAID WOOPS.

MAYBE SOME OF HIS 'TALK TOUGH' WASN'T SUCH A GOOD IDEA?

FOR INSTANCE, HE OFFERED, "I LEARNED SOME LESSONS ABOUT EXPRESSING MYSELF MAYBE IN A LITTLE MORE SOPHISTICATED MANNER, YOU KNOW. 'WANTED, DEAD OR ALIVE', THAT KIND OF TALK. I THINK IN CERTAIN PARTS OF THE WORLD IT WAS MISINTERPRED."

MUST CREDIT BULLY BOY PRESS AND CEDRIC'S BIG MIX:

BULLY BOY SLIPS TO 1% IN APPROVAL RATINGS!

THROUGH SCIENTIFIC POLLING (POLLING METHODS TAUGHT BY THE NEW YORK TIMES), BULLY BOY PRESS AND CEDRIC'S BIG MIX HAVE DISCOVERED THAT AMONG THOSE "CERTAIN PARTS OF THE WORLD" WHERE BULLY BOY WAS "MISINTERPRED" WAS THE UNITED STATES.

WHEN ASKED IF THEY BELIEVED THAT THE BULLY BOY'S STATEMENT OF OSAMA BIN LADEN MEANT BIN LADEN WAS "WANTED, DEAD OR ALIVE,"
100 OF THE 100 POLLED RESPONDED IN THE AFFIRMATIVE.

ASKED IF THEY HAD ANY RESPECT FOR BULLY BOY, 99 OF THE 100 POLLED RESPONDED IN THE NEGATIVE. 1 RESPONDENT EXPRESSED APPROVAL FOR THE BULLY BOY. THE RESPONDENT ALSO EXPRESSED BELIEF IN SANTA CLAUSE, THE TOOTH FAIRY, THE EASTER BUNNY, WMD AND "REBA MCENTIRE'S GOOD NATURE."


IN A FOLLOW UP TO YESTERDAY'S "THIS JUST IN! BULLY BOY AND BLAIR HAVE BEEN WHERE? " STRINGERS WERE SENT TO TIMES SQUARE TO CHECK THE VALIDITY OF WHITE HOUSE MOUTH PIECE TONY SNOW'S CLAIM THAT
"YOU KNOW, THERE AREN'T GOING TO BE PEOPLE KISSING IN TIME SQUARE TOMORROW."

STRINGERS RACHEL, MICAH, JONAH, DONA, JIM AND TY REPORTED THE SIGHTING OF AT LEAST 43 KISSES BETWEEN THE HOURS OF 11:00 AM AND 2:00 PM. AT LEAST ONE KISS INVOLVED TONGUE AND FOUR WERE SAME-SEX KISSES. NOT INCLUDED IN THE COUNT WAS A WOMAN WHO SPAT ON A TISSUE AND THEN USED THE TISSUE TO WIPE THE CHEEK OF A CHILD. FURTHER MORE, TWO STRINGERS, DONA AND JIM, WERE INSPIRED BY THE ACTIVITY TO ENGAGE IN "A LITTLE KISSING AND GROPING OF OUR OWN."

TO RECAP, TONY SNOW HAS BEEN PROVEN WRONG.


Recommended: "And the war drags on . . . (Indymedia Roundup)"
"'Worse than Abu Ghraib' Thom Shanker, Eric Schmitt, Richard A. Oppel, Robert Burns & Thomas E. Ricks"
"Kat's Korner: Dixie Chicks Taking The Long Way home while NYT gets lost along the way"
"Iraq, Immigration, Dave Zirin on Barry Bonds & Babe Ruth, and Tom Hayden"
"flashpoints & ruth "
"Iraq, Norman Solomon, Immigration, Darfur, race "

Thursday, May 25, 2006

THIS JUST IN! BULLY BOY AND BLAIR HAVE BEEN WHERE?

BULLY BOY PRESS - DC.
 
THIS JUST IN!
 
BULLY BOY AND BLAIR HAVE BEEN WHERE?
 
WHITE HOUSE NUISANCE TONY SNOW WAS SPOUTING OUT OFF THE MOUTH AND PEOPLE ARE STILL ATTEMPTING TO FIGURE OUT WHAT THE DAY'S TALKING POINTS WERE SUPPOSED TO BE.
 
 
'WE'?  WHERE HAVE BLAIR AND BULLY BOY BEEN? 
 
 
THERE AREN'T?
 
BULLY BOY PRESS WILL HAVE STRINGERS STAKED OUT IN TIMES SQUARE TO DETERMINE WHETHER SNOW IS CORRECT OR WRONG.
 
OUR CURRENT PREDICITION?  PEOPLE WILL KISS AS OFTEN AS USUAL IN TIMES SQUARE.
 
"TIMES SQUARE,"  TONY SNOW, NOT "TIME SQUARE."
 
 
 


Do you Yahoo!?
Everyone is raving about the all-new Yahoo! Mail Beta.

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

THIS JUST IN! CONDI RICE FINALLY GETS IT!

BULLY BOY PRESS - DC.
 
THIS JUST IN!
 
CONDI RICE FINALLY GETS IT!
 
 
CONDI RICE RETURNED TO DC IN TEARS FOLLOWING THE RECEPTION SHE RECEIVED MONDAY AT BOSTON COLLEGE.
 
SEEKING A SYMPATHETIC SHOULDER, SHE HURRIED THROUGH THE WHITE HOUSE.  THERE WAS HARRIE MIERS.
 
BUT HARRIE WAS SO BITTER AFTER SCALITO BUZZED PAST HER AND ON TO THE COURT.
 
THERE WAS KAREN HUGHES BUT SHE COULDN'T SHUT UP ABOUT HER NEW LINE OF CLOTHES FOR GYM COACHES
 
CONDI REALIZED SHE WAS ALONE -- A VICTIM OF THE WORK-WIVES WARS.
 
 
SHE WAS ABOUT TO GIVE UP ALL HOPE WHEN SHE SAW FORMER WHITE HOUSE LAP DOG SCOTTY CROUCHING BEHIND A LARGE POTTED FERN.
 
"MCCLELLAN!"  CONDI HOLLERED.
 
 
"SHH!"  SCOTTY CAUTIONED.  "DON'T GIVE ME AWAY!"
 
PAST TIME TO GO, STILL DESPERATE TO HOLD ON, SCOTTY WAS THE FIRST WORK-WIFE WHO WOULD NOT GO GRACEFULLY.INTO THE NIGHT.
 
WAS THAT HER FATE?  WHAT COULD BE WORSE THAT THAT?
 
SHE HAD HER ANSWER.  IT WAS APPROACHING.  SIPPING FROM A CAN OF LONE STAR.  SMILING.
 
 
 
 
 
SHREIKING, CONDI RAN DOWN THE HALL STRAIGHT INTO THE ARMS OF DONALD RUMSFELD.
 
BREAKING DOWN SHE SPILLED EVERY DETAIL OF BOSTON TO HIM.
 
"WHY DO THEY HATE ME?"  SHE ASKED CRYING.  "WHY DO THEY HATE ME!  ME!"
 
"GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF, MAN," SECRETARY RUMSFELD SAID SHAKING CONDI BY THE SHOULDERS.  "THEY HATE YOU FOR YOUR FREEDOMS!"
 
"THAT'S IT!"  CONDI SAID SLAPPING HER FOREHEAD.  "THAT'S IT!  THEY HATE ME FOR MY FREEDOMS.  TERRORISTS!"
 
NODDING RUMSFELD AGREED, "YOU KNOW, IT IS THE HOME OF JOHN KERRY.  WHAT SAY WE FIGURE OUT HOW TO DEAL WITH THIS BOSTON 'SITUATION'?"
 
 
 
 


Be a chatter box. Enjoy free PC-to-PC calls with Yahoo! Messenger with Voice.

Monday, May 22, 2006

THIS JUST IN! "FREEDOM IS MOVING!"

BULLY BOY PRESS - CHICAGO.

THIS JUST IN!

"FREEDOM IS MOVING!"

OUTSIDE THE UNITED STATES APPARENTLY BUT NOT TO IRAQ. NO FORWARDING ADDRESS WAS LEFT.

"FREEDOM IS MOVING!"

WHO WANTS TO LIVE NEXT TO THE BULLY BOY?

"FREEDOM IS MOVING," SAID BULLY BOY, "BUT IT'S IN INCREMENTAL STEPS AND THE ENEMY'S PROGRESS IS ALMOST INSTANT ON THEIR TV SCREENS."

THE REMARK LED MANY TO AGAIN WONDER WHEN BULLY BOY WILL BE REQUIRED TO MASTER SIMPLE ENGLISH?

SHOULD AN ENGLISH ONLY MEASURE PASS, WOULDN'T THOSE LIVING IN THE WHITE HOUSE BE REQUIRED TO FOLLOW IT?

INCREMENTAL STEPS, BULLY BOY CAUTIONED, WARNING IT WAS 1 STEP AT A TIME. THE STEP SO FAR HAS COST NEARLY 2500 AMERICAN TROOPS. WHO KNOWS HOW MANY MORE IN STEP TWO?


Recommended: "Other Items"
"And the war drags on"
"the ruth & elijah report"
"Cole slaw in the Kitchen"
"The blonde brain of Thomas Friedman."
"Editorial: Here it comes, here it comes again"
"TV Review: Will & Grace -- goodbye, good riddance"
"Into the e-mails"
"Kat's Korner: Springsteen's Seeger Sessions"

Friday, May 19, 2006

THIS JUST IN! NO BULLY BOY LEFT BEHIND!

BULLY BOY PRESS - DC.

THIS JUST IN!

NO BULLY BOY LEFT BEHIND!

WHITE HOUSE JOKE TONY SNOW ANNOUNCED THE WHITE HOUSE'S SUPPORT FOR MAKING ENGLISH THE LAW OF THE LAND.

"IF YOU TAKE A LOOK AT THE DATE, PEOPLE WHO LEARN ENGLISH TEND TO BE MORE PROSPEROUS (AND) TEND TO BE BETTER AT THEIR JOBS," TONY SNOW DECLARED AS HANDS SHOT UP IN THE PRESS CORPS.

JUST THEN BULLY BOY WALKED INTO THE BRIEFING ROOM AND WHISPERED INTO THE EAR OF A NODDING SNOW.

"LADIES AND GENTELMEN OF THE PRESS," SNOW STATED SMILING, "ON THE SUBJECT OF IMMIGRATION, THE BULLY BOY OF THE UNITED STATES WOULD LIKE TO SAY A FEW WORDS."

GRINNING, BULLY BOY STEPPED IN FRONT OF THE PODIUM, CLEARED HIS THROAT AND SAID, "I THINK IT'S REALLY IMPORTANT FOR THIS GREAT STATE OF BASEBALL TO REACH OUT TO THE PEOPLE OF ALL WALKS OF LIFE TO MAKE SURE THAT THE SPORT IS INCLUSIVE. THE BEST WAY TO DO IT IS TO CONVINCE LITTLE KIDS HOW TO . . . THE BEAUTY OF PLAYING BASEBALL!"

AS THE PRESS STARED AT THE BULLY BOY IN SHOCK, SNOW GULPED AND LOOKED AROUND NERVOUSLY.

WARMING TO THE QUIET IN THE ROOM, THINKING THEY WERE SPELL BOUND, BULLY BOY OFFERED THOUGHTS ON ANOTHER PROGRAM, "I'M GOING TO SPEND A LOT OF TIME ON SOCIAL SECURITY. I ENJOY IT. I ENJOY TAKING ON THE ISSUE. I GUESS, IT'S THE MOTHER IN ME."

AS SNOW STOOD PARALYZED, LIFE COACH KAREN HUGHES TOOK CONTROL OF THE SITUATION AND BEGAN STRIDING TOWARDS THE PODIUM.

"AH, LOOK, IT'S KAREN HUGHES," BULLY BOY SAID POINTING. "KAREN'S A WEST TEXAS GIRL, JUST LIKE ME."

KAREN HUGHES ANNOUNCED THAT THE BULLY BOY HAD TO LEAVE FOR AN IMPORTANT NAP AND A QUICK MEETING. WAVING AT EVERYONE AND BLOWING KISSES, BULLY BOY EXITED THE ROOM.

"JUST TO REPEAT," HUGHES DECLARED GRUFFILY, "THE WHITE HOUSE BELIEVES THAT PEOPLE WHO LEARN THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE TEND TO BE BETTER AT THEIR JOBS."

"KAREN HUGHES," CALLED OUT A WOMAN. "HELEN THOMAS, KING FEATURES SYNDICATE . A QUESTION. IF THE WHITE HOUSE BELIEVES LEARNING ENGLISH HELPS PEOPLE BE BETTER AT THEIR JOBS, WHEN DO THEY PLAN ON TEACHING ENGLISH TO THE BULLY BOY?"



Recommended: "And the war drags on (Indymedia Roundup)"
"Surprise interview"
"Democracy Now: Eduardo Galeano"
"rebecca winters has a warning"
"Other Items"
"Dry Drunk Bully Boy"
"Hayden Defends Domestic Spy Program At Confirmation Hearing"
"The (Other) Story Judith Miller Didn't Write"
"Phone Spies"

Thursday, May 18, 2006

THIS JUST IN! DESPERATE CONGRESS MEMBERS!

BULLY BOY PRESS - DC.

THIS JUST IN!

DESPERATE CONGRESS MEMBERS!

WHILE MICHAEL HAYDEN'S GIRLISH, JOHN MCCAIN VOICE HELD THE ATTENTION OF THE SENATE INTELLIGENCE COMMITTEE, THINGS WERE HEATING UP ON THE SENATE JUDICIARY COMMITTEE.

ARLEN SPECTER, STILL LOOKING FOR THE MAGIC BULLET AFTER ALL THESE YEARS, DECIDED TO HOLD A VOTE ON A PROPOSAL HE DOESN'T SUPPORT: A BAN ON SAME-SEX MARRIAGE.

WHEN THE RIGHT, RIGHTEOUS RUSS CALLED HIM ON IT, SENATOR SPECTER PLAYED THE LOVER SPURNED.

"IF YOU WANT TO LEAVE, GOOD RIDDANCE!" SCREAMED ARLEN AS HE LOOKED FOR A KNICK KNACK TO THROW.

FINDING NONE, HE LEPT TO HIS FEET AND, IN HIS BEST NICOLETTE SHERIDAN, THREW HIS HEAD BACK, PUT HANDS ON HIPS AND SCREAMED, "YOU AIN'T ALL THAT, RUSS FEINGOLD! YOU AIN'T ALL THAT!"

IGNORING ARLAN'S ATTEMPT AT DESPERATE CONGRESS MEMBERS, RUSS FEINGOLD BLEW HIM OFF WITH A "SEE 'YA."

"HOW DARE HE!" SCREAMED AN ENRAGED ARLEN GRABBING FOR A PITCHER OF WATER AND THROWING IT TO THE FLOOR WHILE JOE BIDEN RUSHED OVER IMMEDIATELY, READY TO DELIVER A SERIES OF LENGTHY, PREPARED REMARKS. LINDSEY GRAHAM TOOK A FEW MINUTES TO SMOOTH HIS CRINOLINE PETTICOAT AND FINISH HIS MINT JULIP BEFORE STRUTTING OVER.

ARLEN WAS CRYING ON JOE'S SHOULDER. JOE HAD BEEN TALKING NONSTOP FOR 5 MINUTES. LINDSEY KNEW THE MILK TRAIN DIDN'T STOP HERE NO MORE.

"LET IT GO, ARLY," LINDSEY ADVISED.

"LET IT GO! HE HUMILIATED ME!" SCREAMED ARLEN. "HE WALKED ALL OVER ME! HE TREATED ME LIKE A TISSUE! USING ME AND THEN DISCARDING ME! WHO DOES HE THINK HE IS? JAMIE DENTON? DID YOU SEE HIM STOMPING OUT OF HERE? STOMPING ACROSS THE FLOOR LIKE HE STOMPED ACROSS MY HEART? STOMPING ACROSS THE FLOOR LIKE HE THOUGHT HE WAS DOING IT A FAVOR?"

WIPING THE TEARS FROM HIS EYES, ARLEN TOOK A DEEP BREATH, THEN LOOKED AROUND THE ROOM.

"IS ANYONE ELSE TURNED ON?" ARLEN ASKED.


Recommended: "Other Items (mini-'And the war drags on')"
"Democracy Now: NSA, Hayden and more (plus, here, Iraq Snapshot and NSA commentary)"
"michael hayden hearing broadcast live on kpfa thursday"
"KPFA broadcasts the Michael Hayden hearing Thursday morning LIVE"
"Live coverage of the Michael Hayden hearing on KPFA (9:00 a.m. ET)"
"NYT: Like an unnamed Dem is all excited and giddy about being invited!"
"Will the Public Lose its Right to Know About Toxic Releases by Industry?"
"Confirmation Hearing Opens for CIA Nominee and Former NSA-Head Michael Hayden"








Wednesday, May 17, 2006

THIS JUST IN! IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN A GOOD DAY FOR THE BULLY BOY!

BULLY BOY PRESS - DC.
 
THIS JUST IN!
 
IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN A GOOD DAY FOR THE BULLY BOY.
 
 
EARLY ON, MISS PRISS INSTANT CUCKOO ORRIN HATCH WENT TO BAT FOR BULLY BOY YET AGAIN.  SURE IT WAS A FOUL BALL BUT SENATOR HATCH IS AN OLD MAN AND FUNNY TO LOOK AT.  SO WITH THAT AND THE FACT THAT WHERE MISS PRISS GOES HER BOY TOYS SANTORUM AND CORNYN FOLLOW CLOSE BEHIND, SHOULD HAVE MEANT A GOOD DAY FOR THE BULLY BOY.
 
HATCHET HAD FED THE HUNGRY NEWS CYCLE FOR THE NEXT 24 HOURS ALLOWING ALL THE "BALANCE" LOVERS TO TYPE: NO BIG DEAL WITH THE NSA, HERE'S WHAT ORRIN HAD TO SAY . . . .
 
BUT BULLY BOY WAS FORLORN.
 
 
IF YOU ASKED HIM, HE COULDN'T USE THAT WORD.  TOO BIG.  BUT HE COULD HAVE TOLD YOU "SAD" PROBABLY.
 
"DUDES AND DUDESSES" IS HOW BULLY BOY GREETED THE OLYMPIC AND PARALYMPIC ATHLETES AND HE TRIED TO LAUGH, TRIED TO SNORT, TRIED TO DO THE PANTING HE LEARNED AS A BOY WHEN HE USED TO MAKE PRANK CALLS TO HIS MOTHER, BIG BABS, IN ORDER TO SPOOK HER, BUT HIS HEART WASN'T IN IT. 
 
WHEN JEREMY BLOOM TRIED TO GIVE HIM A GIFT, BULLY BOY DIDN'T EVEN NOTICE.
 
BULLY BOY LOVES GIFTS.
 
BULLY BOY LIVES FAILURE.
 
BULLY BOY LOVES BROWN NOSERS.
 
A GIFT FROM A 5TH ROUND DRAFT PICK AND SOLID SUCK UP COULDN'T CATCH BULLY BOY'S ATTENTION.
 
FINALLY THE GIFT WAS ACCEPTED BY A WOMAN WHO LOOKS JUST LIKE THE WOMAN WHO EVERYONE SAYS IS NOT LAURA BUSH.  THE 2 WOMEN LOOK EXACTLY THE SAME EXCEPT FOR THE CAN OF LONE STAR BEER 1 IS ALWAYS SEEN HOLDING. 
 
HE MAY HAVE BEEN ON THE WHITE HOUSE LAWN, BUT HIS MIND WAS IN HOUSTON WHERE HIS "KENNY BOY" FOUND HIS FATE IN THE HANDS OF A JURY. 
 
 
 


Feel free to call! Free PC-to-PC calls. Low rates on PC-to-Phone. Get Yahoo! Messenger with Voice

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

THIS JUST IN! NEDRA PICKLER SEES INSIDE PEOPLE!

BULLY BOY PRESS - DC.

THIS JUST IN!

NEDRA PICKLER SEES INSIDE PEOPLE!

THE WISER PORTION OF THE DC PRESS CORPS, ALL THREE OF THEM, BROKE OUT IN LOUD LAUGHTER TODAY.

NOT AT THE BULLY BOY'S NASTY LITTLE ATTEMPT TO GET LAUGHS BY MAKING FUN OF AUSTRALIAN PRIME MINISTER JOHN HOWARD'S LOOKS AND THE FACT THAT HE'S BALD, BUT AT NEDRA PICKLER'S ATTEMPTED "REPORT" FOR THE ASSOCIATED PRESS.

"SHE'S THE HALEY JOEL OSMENT OF THE PRESS CORPS!" LAUGHED ONE TO THE CONFUSION OF MANY.

"SHE WRITES: 'HE ALSO IS KNOWN FOR TEASING PEOPLE AS A SIGN OF AFFECTION.'
SHE'S HALEY JOEL OSMENT IN THE SEQUEL TO THE SIXTH SENSE, NO SENSE. SHE STARES BLANKLY AHEAD AND WHISPERS 'I SEE INSIDE PEOPLE.' "

THAT CLEARED UP EVERY ONE BURST INTO LAUGHTER.

"I GOT THE FEELING," OFFERED ANOTHER, "THAT SHE WAS TEASED A GREAT DEAL IN SCHOOL, FOR OBVIOUS REASONS, SO INSTEAD OF RECOGNIZING THAT THE BULLY BOY TEASES BECAUSE HE IS A BULLY, SHE TRIES TO TURN IT INTO A 'SIGN OF AFFECTION' BECAUSE NOT TO DO SO WOULD MEAN FACING THAT ALL THE MANY CRUEL THINGS SAID TO HER OVER THE YEARS WERE MEANT TO HURT AS MUCH AS THEY DID."

"WHAT YOU TALKING ABOUT?" ASKED PICKLER WALKING UP WITH A GOOFY SMILE, TOLIET PAPER STUCK TO HER SHOE AND THE BACK OF SKIRT STUCK INSIDE HER PANTYHOSE.

"NOTHING," ALL THREE SAID, EXCHANGING LOOKS AND TRYING HARD NOT TO LAUGH WHILE NEDRA PICKLER CONTINUED SMILING HER GOOFY SMILE.


Recommended: "NYT: Bell-South says, "No, we didn't!" and the Times runs with it"
"We hold the Iraqi government and the occupiers responsible for this brutal atrocity"
"things that make you go 'what the f---!'"
"Rally in DC, Professor Steve Almond stands up, and more"
"Other Items"
"Freedom of the Press Under Attack: Government Begins Tracking Phone Calls of Journalists"
"Pelosi Capitulates on Impeachment"

Monday, May 15, 2006

THIS JUST IN! THAT'S NOT LAURA BUSH!

BULLY BOY PRESS - DC.


THIS JUST IN!


"THAT'S NOT LAURA BUSH!"


SO SAYS THE WOMAN WHO LOOKS LIKE LAURA BUSH AND IS FREQUENTLY SEEN HECKLING THE BULLY BOY AT PRESS CONFERENCES WHILE DOWNING A CAN OR TWO OF LONE STAR BEER.


IF THAT WASN'T LAURA BUSH THEN WHO WAS POSING AS HER ON SUNDAY AND SAYING, "I DON'T REALLY BELIEVE THOSE POLLS . . . AS I TRAVEL AROUND THE UNITED STATES, I SEE A LOT OF APPRECIATION FOR HIM. A LOT OF PEOPLE COME UP TO ME AND SAY, 'STAY THE COURSE'."


WHICH COULD JUST BE AMERICANS OFFERING MARITAL ADVICE BUT THE MORE IMPORTANT QUESTION IS WHO WAS THAT WOMAN?


WHEN PRESSED ON THE ISSUE TODAY, TONY SNOW REFUSED TO CONFIRM OR DENY THAT THE WOMAN WAS OR WAS NOT LAURA BUSH BUT DID REPEAT THE PREVIOUS WHITE HOUSE LAPDOG (SCOTTY MCCLELLAN)'S TALKING POINT THAT "THE LAURA BUSH LOOK IS JUST A VERY POPULAR, A VERY STYLISH LOOK, THIS YEAR."

THE MYSTERY MIGHT HAVE ENDED UNSOLVED WERE IT NOT FOR THE FACT THAT KARL ROVE LOVES THE SPOTLIGHT. SPEAKING TO THE CREEPS AND JACKYLS THAT COMPOSE THE AMERICAN ENTERPRISE INSTITUTE, KARL ROVE OFFERED THAT BULLY BOY WASN'T UNPOPULAR, IT WAS JUST THE WAR THAT WAS UNPOPULAR.

WHEN ASKED IF THE WAR, POPULAR OR NOT, WAS NOT INDEED BULLY BOY'[S WAR THAT HE LAUNCHED, LIED AND TRICKED A NATION OVER AND --

"I DON'T BELIEVE IN POLLS," ROVE DECLARED LAYING HIS RIGHT HAND OVER HIS CHEST, FINGERS SPLAYED.

AS 1 REPORTER SAID, OFF THE RECORD, "THAT WAS A VERY TONY PERKINS MOMENT."


Recommended: "And the war drags on"
"TV Review: When it's time to go -- That 70s Show"
"Pearl Jam does Pearl Jam"
"The joke is always Thomas Friedman. Always"
"Popcorn in the Kitchen"
"Bully Boy's sinking -- weekend's looking great!"
"And here it is 2006, and the matter has not gotten better"
"NYT: Cheney, Cheney (only twice) (Lichtblau, Shane & Johnston)"
"Who exactly are the outlaws?"
"Editorial: Could it be true? Rove indicted?"



Friday, May 12, 2006

THIS JUST IN! BULLY BOY GOES PUNK OR GETS PUNKED?

BULLY BOY PRESS - DC.

THIS JUST IN!

BULLY BOY GOES PUNK OR GETS PUNKED?

WITH HIS APPROVAL RATING CONTINUING TO FLUSH DOWN THE TOILET, BULLY BOY HAS EITHER GONE PUNK OR BEEN PUNKED FURTHER.

TODAY THE BULLY BOY DECLARED THAT THE REASON THE IRAQI GOVERNMENT HAS YET TO FORM A UNITY GOVERNMENT IS BECAUSE OF
THE "MILITIAS."

THE PRESS CORPS CHUCKLED LIGHTLY SINCE, AS EVERYONE BUT THE BRAIN DEAD KNOW, THE REASON NOTHING HAS BEEN FORMED IN PRIME MINISTER WANNA-BE AL-MALIKI'S GOVERNMENT IS BECAUSE A) OF U.S. INTERFERENCE AND B) THE FIGHT OVER WHO WILL BE OIL MINISTER.


WHISPERED ONE REPORTER, "IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T KNOW THAT HIS APPROVAL RATING HAS DROPPED TO 29%"


"OR DOESN'T CARE," ADDED ANOTHER.

"BULLY COULD NEVER DO MATH!" SLURRED A DRUNKEN WOMAN WHO LOOKED LIKE LAURA BUSH BUT WAS NOT LAURA BUSH. "WE LOST SO MUCH MONEY ONE CHRISTMAS WHEN HE TRIED TO DO DIVISION WITH DIME BAGS. HEY, I'M OUT OF LONE STAR!"


Recommended: "NYT: Says nah-nah, we did in December, though they really didn't (Shane & Lichtblau)"
"And the war drags on . . . (Indymedia Roundup)"
"preaching to the converted"
"Different stuff"
"Guns & Butter and the crappy 1000th issue of Rolling Stone"
"Bully Boy caught lying & spying again"




Thursday, May 11, 2006

THIS JUST IN! BULLY BOY DUMMIES UP FOR THE PRESS!

BULLY BOY PRESS - DC.


THIS JUST IN!

BULLY BOY DUMMIES UP FOR THE PRESS!


CONFRONTED WITH USA TODAY'S EXPLOSIVE STORY ABOUT HIS AUTHORIZING THE SPYING ON PHONE CALLS PLACED IN THE UNITED STATES AND NOT GOING OUT OF THE UNITED STATES BY NON-SUSPECTED AMERICAN CITIZENS, BULLY BOY TROTTED OUT THE USUAL DO ANYTHING TO PROTECT THE U.S. FROM 'TERRORISM' EVEN IF IT MEANS DESTROYING EVERY RIGHT WE HAVE AND EVERY PRINCIPLE WE STAND FOR.


ONE CHATTY WHITE HOUSE INSIDER, NOT SCOTTY MCCLELLAN, ASKED THIS REPORTER, "WHAT WOULD YOU RATHER HAVE? YOUR HOUSE BURNED DOWN BY TERRORISTS OR YOUR HOUSE BURNED DOWN BY OUR BULLY BOY?"


WHEN I RESPONDED THAT I'D PREFER NOT TO HAVE MY HOUSE BURNED DOWN AT ALL, THE CHATTY SOURCE SNEERED AND DECLARED, "THAT'S WHAT ARI CALLED PRE-9/11 THINKING."

THE CHATTY SOURCE THEN ADDED, "OF COURSE OUR BULLY BOY DUMMIED UP. THERE WERE MICROPHONES IN HIS FACE. HE PREFERS TO LEAK. LOOK FOR A ROBERT NOVAK COLUMN TO TELL ALL."



Recommended: "NYT: The intentionally blind and the willfully useless (yes, Dexy's back in print)"
"Other Items"
"Kat's Korner: Pink's not dead or silent"
"more on hud's lead liar alphonso jackson"
"Always money to hand out to the highest income bracket"
"Barry Bonds, Repubes drool over tax breaks, peace activists go to Iran"



Wednesday, May 10, 2006

THIS JUST IN! HILLARY CLINTON LOVES THE BOYZ WHO CHEAT ON HER!

BULLY BOY PRESS - DC.

THIS JUST IN!

HILLARY CLINTON LOVES THE BOYZ WHO CHEAT ON HER!

ASKED TO NAME 1 THING GOOD ABOUT THE BULLY BOY SHE WENT WILD AND CRAZY AND SOFT IN THE HEAD. UNABLE TO STOP AT 1 SHE JUST KEPT TICKING OFF WHY SHE LOVES HER SOME STUPID BOYZ.

1) CHARM & CHARISMA

2) GRATEFUL TO HIM AFTER 9/11 FOR HIS "SUPPORT"

3) "GOOD COMPANY"

4) "WILLING TO TALK"

5) WHEN ASKED FOR HELP BY NYC "HE IMMEDIATELY SAID YES"

6) "ALWAYS KEPT IT ON TRACK"

7) "MADE SURE WE GOT THE RESOUCRES THAT WE NEEDED"


WHILE SHE WAS PANTING ABOUT HOW "GRATEFUL" SHE WAS TO HIM, SOMEONE FINALLY CUT OFF JOSIE LIEBERMANS MICROPHONE.


THANK GOD.


BUSY PRAISING HER BULLY BOY, SHE REALLY LOVES THE BOYS WHO CHEAT ON HER, SHE FORGOT ALL ABOUT THE ISSUE OF THE LIES FROM THE EPA THAT THE AIR WAS SAFE TO BREATHE.


CHRISTINE TODD WHITMAN WORKED FOR WHICH OVAL OFFICE OCCUPANT? ONE WAG SAID HILLARY MIGHT BE CONFUSED SO SHE SHOULD BE CLUED IN THAT CHRISTINE TODD WHITMAN "WASN'T AN INTERN."


SHE WAS APPOINTED BY THE BULLY BOY TO HEAD THE EPA. ON SEPTEMBER 13, 2001, CHRISTINE TODD WHITMAN TOLD NYC AND AMERICA THAT THE AIR AT GROUND ZERO WAS SAFE TO BREATHE.


IN FEBURARY OF THIS YEAR U.S. DISTRICT JUDGE DEBORAH A. BATTS STATED "NO REASONABLE PERSON WOULD HAVE THOUGHT THAT TELLING THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE THAT IT WAS SAFE TO RETURN TO LOWER MANHATTAN, WHILE KNOWING THAT SUCH RETURN COULD POSE LONG-TERM HEALTH RISKS AND OTHER DIRE CONSEQUENCES, WAS CONDUCT SANCTIONED BY OUR LAWS."


HOW DID IT HAPPEN? WHY WERE THE PEOPLE LIED TO? PHILIP CLAPP
SAYS:


IT'S VERY SIMPLE. THE WHITE HOUSE HAD ONE PRIORITY AFTER SEPTEMBER 11TH AND THAT WAS GET THE ENTIRE FNANCIAL DISTRICT UP AND OPERATING. GET WALL STREET GOING AGAIN. AND THE DATA ON AIR POLLUTION AND THE DNAGERS WAS MUCH LESS IMPORTANT TO THEM THAN IT WAS TO MAKE THAT HAPPEN. SO THEY WERE WILLING TO TELL THE EPA, "MISINFORM THE CITIZENS OF NEW YORK. EXPOSE THEM TO RISKS FOR THE BENEFIT OF WALL STREET FIRMS AND LAW FIRMS."


ONE THING IS CLEAR: HILLARY CLINTON STILL LOVES THE BOYZ WHO CHEAT ON HER. SHE CAN'T STOP SINGING THEIR PRAISES BE IT A BILLY (CLINTON) OR A BULLY (BOY). LIE TO HER, CHEAT ON HER, SHE JUST LOVES 'EM ALL THE MORE!!!



Recommended: "Other Items"
"Kat's Korner: Need deeper? Check out Josh Ritter's The Animal Years"
"I got the pox!"
"hud run by a liar"
"The news is not good."
"Rove about to be indicted?"
"The hopping mad Thomas Friedman"



Tuesday, May 09, 2006

THIS JUST IN! IT TAKES A COWARD --- SOMETIMES TWO!

BULLY BOY PRESS - DC.

THIS JUST IN!

IT TAKES A COWARD --

SOMETIMES TWO!

NOT CONTENT TO BE KNOWN AS THE LOYAL SUCKS UP, RENEGADE CLINTONISTA EVAN BLAH IS PUSHING FOR WAR WITH IRAN WITH THE HOPES THAT IT MIGHT MAKE HIM A "REAL BOY."

JOINING IN THE MARCH OF THE WOODEN SOLDIERS IS DARK HORSE, AND RICHARD NIXON DEAD RINGER, MARK WARNER.


"SIMPLY LASHING OUT IN ANGER AT THE CURRENT ADMINISTRATION DOESN'T ACCOMPLISH WHAT WE WANT," WHINED EVAN BLAH WHILE SHOVING BOTH HANDS DOWN HIS PANTS IN AN ATTEMPT TO RELIEVE THE NASTY CASE OF BLOOD LUST HE HAS IN HIS LOINS.

FUTURE "WHO WAS HE?" WARNER AGREED QUICKLY WHILE STARING LONGINGLY AT BLAH'S HANDS AND PANTING HARD.

THE WE-CAN-GET-BEHIND-OUR-BULLY-BOY-OR-ON-OUR-KNEES-IN-FRONT-OF-HIM-OR-ON-ALL-FOURS-OR-WHATEVER-YOU-WANT-JUST-DROP-A-TWENTY-ON-THE-DRESSER CROWD GATHERED AT THE NON PROGRESSIVE GATHERING SPONSORED BY THE REPUBLICANS IN DEM-LITE PULL UPS AND TRAINING PANTS "PROGRESSIVE" POLICY INSTITUTE.

WILL MARSHALL, WHO WASN'T WANTED IN THE REPUBLICAN PARTY AND ISN'T WANTED IN THE DEMOCRATIC ONE THOUGH HE FAILS TO TAKE A HINT, WORE HIS USUAL CHEAP SUIT, GREASY GRIN AND GOP BELIEFS IN FULL.

SAID MARSHALL BETWEEN BOUTS OF BREAKING WIND, "I WRECKED THE REPUBLICAN PARTY AND NOW I WANT TO WORK MY MAGIC ON THE DEMOCRATIC ONE. I HATE EVERYONE EQUALLY."

"GOOD PLAN!" AGREED EVAN BLAH WHO REFUSED TO STAND DOWNWIND FROM MARSHALL.


Recommended: "Other Items"
"Kat's Korner: Richie Havens: The Economical Collection"
"Monday headache"
"Chaos and violence continue"
"msnbc plagiarizes the associated press"

Monday, May 08, 2006

THIS JUST IN! THE TONE IS RED LIGHT DISTRICT!

BULLY BOY PRESS - DC.

THIS JUST IN!

THE TONE IS RED LIGHT DISTRICT!

BULLY BOY INTRODUCED HIS BOY "MIKE."

BULLY BOY, WHO GETS GIDDY WHEN HE SPEAKS OF FRIENDS FORCED TO CALL HIM "PRESIDENT" (EVEN HIS FRIENDS HAVE TO BE FORCED TO USE THE TERM), INTRODUCED HIS PICK FOR DIRECTOR OF THE CENTRAL INTELLIGENCE AGENCY: "MIKE."

SOME WONDERED IF BULLY BOY MIGHT HAVE MISTAKEN AIR FORCE GENERAL MICHAEL HAYDEN FOR ONE OF HIS ROLL DOGS?

NOT TRUE SAYS ONE INSIDE SOURCE, WHO IS NOT WHITE HOUSE LAPDOG SCOTTY MCCLELLAN, "ACTUALLY, OUR FEARLESS LEADER KEPT CONFUSING HAYDEN WITH THE FATHER FROM DIFF'RENT STROKES. HE KEPT WANTING TO CALL THE GENERAL 'MR. DRUMMOND.'"

WHAT IS THIS ABOUT?

"HE PROMISED TO CHANGE THE TONE IN D.C. AND HE HAS," THE INSIDE SOURCE SAYS. "IT'S NOW A RED LIGHT DISTRICT."

WHICH MAY EXPLAIN THE FBI'S INVESTIGATION OF "DUSTY" FOR ALLEGED INVOLVEMENT IN A CONGRESSIONAL SCANDAL THAT APPEARS TO BE BECOMING A PROSTITUTION SCANDAL. "DUSTY" IS BETTER KNOWN AS THE SOON TO BE FORMER CIA EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR KYLE FOGGO.

SAID SOURCE, "OH GREAT! THINGS GO FREAKY JUST WHEN IT'S TIME FOR ME TO GET BACK TO TEXAS! I MISS ALL THE FREAKY FUN!"


Recommended: "And the war drags on . . ."
"Music, Guns and Butter and RadioNation with Laura Flanders"
"Pasta salad with avocado dressing in the Kitchen
"Ruth's Public Radio Report"
"Kat's Korner: Neil Young's Living With War -- key word 'Living'"
"TV: The Urine Stains of David Mamet"
"Darfur"
"Head on Home (a musical in four scenes)"
"TV commentary takes a back seat this week to Colbert"
"Shame of the Week (Musical)"



Friday, May 05, 2006

THIS JUST IN! WHICH RAT WILL BE THE LAST TO LEAVE?

BULLY BOY PRESS - DC.

THIS JUST IN!

WHICH RAT WILL BE THE LAST TO LEAVE?


PORTER GOSS, CIA DIRECTOR, BECOMES THE LATEST CHEESE EATER TO JUMP SHIP. OR WAS HE PUSHED?


WAGS ARE WHISPERING THAT NATIONAL INTELLIGENCE DIRECTOR JOHN NEGROPONTE SPOKE WITH GOSS ABOUT THE "POSSIBILITY" OF GOSS STEPPING DOWN. DID NEGROPONTE THREATEN TO HAVE SOME OF HIS HONDURAN BUDDIES HELP GOSS MAKE THE DECISION?


SOME ARE POINTING OUT SIMILARITIES TO THE SUMMER OF 2001 WHEN THE FBI WAS WITHOUT LEADERSHIP. OTHERS ARE WONDERING WHERE THE ANNOUNCEMENT OF "SPEND MORE TIME WITH MY FAMILY" IS?



Recommended: "And the war drags on . . . (Indymedia roundup)"
"Coming up at Third"
"Reality? No one likes Criminal Condi, Innocencents get executed and Iraq"
"flashpoints"
"NYT: Doesn't cover Rumsfeld's Atlanta appearance"


Thursday, May 04, 2006

THIS JUST IN! AIN'T EASY TO IMPRESS ALBERTO GONZALES!

BULLY BOY PRESS - DC.
 
THIS JUST IN!
 
AIN'T EASY TO IMPRESS ALBERTO GONZALES.
 
 
ATTORNEY GENERAL AND BOTH NATIONAL AND INTERNATIONAL WINNER IN THE BILLIE JEAN KING LOOK ALIKE CONTEST.SHOCKED MANY WITH WHAT SOME ARE CALLING HIS "CATTY" REMARK.
 
AN INSIDE WHITE HOUSE SOURCE, WHO IS NOT SCOTTY MCCLELLAN AND WANTS TO KNOW WHY EVERYONE THINKS IT IS SCOTTY MCCLELLAN, SAYS THE ATTORNEY GENERAL HAS BEEN MIFFED SINCE HIS ATTEMPTED MADONNA UP FAILED TO GET ATTENTION.
 
"YOU GOTTA' UNDERSTAND," SAID THE SOURCE, "WHEN J-ASS RULED THE JUSTICE DEPARTMENT, THE NATION TREMBLED.  IT WAS 'JOHN ASHCROFT THIS' AND 'JOHN ASHCROFT THAT' BUT NOW?  IT'S LIKE 'AW, IT'S JUST LITTLE ALBIE, WHO CARES?' "
 


Love cheap thrills? Enjoy PC-to-Phone calls to 30+ countries for just 2¢/min with Yahoo! Messenger with Voice.

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

THIS JUST IN! DOES CONDI HEAR BELLS?

BULLY BOY PRESS - DC.
 
THIS JUST IN!
 
DOES CONDI HEAR BELLS?
 
WHILE DICK CHENEY GEARS UP FOR HIS 'FREEDOM' TOUR (FULL TITLE: FREEDOM TO TORTURE! AS CROOKED AS I WANNA BE!) AND BULLY BOY ANTICIPATES HIS FLORIDA TRIP NEXT WEEK WHERE HE WILL PROMISE
EACH SENIOR WHO SIGNS UP TO HIS NEW MEDICARE PLAN 3 FREE CDS WITH THE AGREEMENT THAT THEY PURCHASE 92 MORE AT REGULAR COST OVER THE NEXT 3 YEARS, WHO'S WATCHING CONDI?
 
WAGS ARE WAGGING THAT CONDI RICE HAS FINALLY FOUND A MAN SHE HAS SOMETHING IN COMMON WITH.
 
WHO'S THE LUCKY JOE?
 
TEODORO OBIANG NGUEMA, THE PRESIDENT OF EQUATORIAL GUINEAN. 
 
NO-ONE-COULD-HAVE-GUESSED-CONDI, AS FRIENDS CALL HER, IS AS SURPRISED AS ANYONE TO FIND HERSELF IN LOVE WITH TEODORO.
 
 
"WE'RE LIKE BRAD AND ANGELINA," SHE REPORTEDLY TOLD ONE FRIEND.
"WE JUST FIT.  HE GETS ME.  REALLY GETS ME.  YOU KNOW HE'S SAID ON STATE RADIO THAT HE'S GOD.  THAT REALLY TURNS ME ON IN A MAN!  WHILE MOST OF THE PEOPLE IN HIS COUNTRY LIVE ON LESS THAN A DOLLAR DAY, HE'S WORTH OVER $300 MILLION!  IT'S NOT THE MONEY, YOU UNDERSTAND, JUST THE CRUELTY FACTOR INVOLVED.  THAT'S WHAT EXCITES ME."
 
DETERMINED TO KEEP TEODORO AWAY FROM SPURNED SUITER MARK THATCHER, CONDI'S KEEPING FRIENDS' AT ARMS LENGTH. 
 
"SHE GOT TIRED OF SHARING,"  A FRIEND WHO IS NOT NAMED SCOTTY MCCLELLAN EXPLAINED. 
 
 
CONDI'S BEEN OBSERVED TEACHING HIM TO SAY "YA'LL" AND "HOWDY."  REPORTEDLY SHE'S GROOMING HIM TO RUN FOR GOVERNOR OF TEXAS "AND THEN THE WORLD!" 
 
 
 
 
 


Yahoo! Messenger with Voice. Make PC-to-Phone Calls to the US (and 30+ countries) for 2¢/min or less.

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

THIS JUST IN! BULLY BOY LAGGING!

BULLY BOY PRESS - DC.
THIS JUST IN!
BULLY BOY LAGGING.
AS OVER 1.5 MILLION AND MAYBE AS MANY AS 2 MILLION (OR MORE) TOOK PART IN THE IMMIGRATION DEMONSTRATIONS, RALLIES AND BOYCOTTS YESTERDAY, BULLY BOY'S BEEN HAVING TROUBLE GETTING THAT RUMORED "MOJO" BACK.
FIRST THERE WAS THE SLAP IN THE FACE FROM CONDI RICE AND THE STATE DEPARTMENT AFTER BULLY BOY MANGLED THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE WHILE SUGGESTING THAT IF YOU CAN'T SPEAK ENGLISH, YOU MIGHT NEED TO FIND ANOTHER COUNTRY OR ELSE STAY SILENT. TURNS OUT THE STATE DEPARTMENT FEATURES FOREIGN LANGUAGE AUDIO FILES ON ITS OFFICIAL WEBSITE.
NOW COMES NEWS THAT BULLY BOY'S STATEMENT LAST WEEK OPPOSING BOYCOTTS ALSO HAD NO LEGS.
TO TOM BROKAW, BULLY BOY SAID, "I MEAN, THE DIXIE CHICKS ARE FREE TO SPEAK THEIR MIND. THEY CAN SAY WHAT THEY WANT TO SAY. AND JUST BECAUSE -- THEY SHOULDN'T HAVE THEIR FEELINGS HURT JUST BECAUSE SOME PEOPLE DON'T WANT TO BUY THEIR RECORDS WHEN THEY SPEAK OUT."
WHEN CONFRONTED WITH BULLY BOY'S STATEMENTS FROM APRIL 24, 2003, STATEMENTS THAT DO NOT SAY "THE DIXIE CHICKS SHOULD NOT BE BOYCOTTED!", WHITE HOUSE LAP DOG SCOTTY MCCLELLAN LOOKED A LITTLE SAD. THEN HE PERKED UP AND SAID, "THE BULLY BOY DID NOT SAY HE WAS AGAINST 'BOYCOTTS.' HE SAID HE WAS AGAINST 'BOY CROTCHES.' ANYONE WHO HAS OBSERVED HIS EAR HAIRS KNOWS THAT 'MAN SCAPING' IS NOT SOMETHING OUR BULLY BOY TAKES PART IN."
"SO YOU ARE SAYING THE BULLY BOY IS AGAINST BOY CROTCHES!"
"YES," REPLIED SCOTT MCCLELLAN.
IMMEDIATELY CRIES RANG UP FROM THE DC PRESS CORP WHO APPEARED TO WAKE FOR THE FIRST TIME IN SIX YEARS.
"WHAT ARE THE BOYS' NAMES!"
"HOW LONG HAS HE BEEN AGAINST BOY CROTCHES!"
"DOES HE HAVE SLEEP OVERS LIKE MICHAEL JACKSON!"
"SEX SCANDAL!" CHORTLED LISA MYERS. "HOT DAMN! DC'S FINALLY COME BACK TO LIFE!"



Monday, May 01, 2006

THIS JUST IN! BULLY BOY TIMES 2 STILL NOT FUNNY!

BULLY BOY PRESS - DC.
 
THIS JUST IN!
 
 
LAST NIGHT IN DC AT THE WHITE HOUSE CORRESPONDENTS' ASSOCIATION, BULLY BOY BROUGHT ON A BUDDY, ONE STEVE BRIDGES WHO IMPERSONATES THE BULLY BOY.
 
AS THE TWO ATTEMPTED TO YUCK IT UP WITH BAD JOKES CONSIDERING THAT HE IS BULLY BOY OF THE UNITED STATES AND THAT DICK CHENEY IS HIS RIGHT HAND MAN/COACH/MENTOR/WET NURSE.  (TOPICS INCLUDED DICK CHENEY SHOOTING A MAN.)  MOST WERE LEFT TO WONDER WHY BULLY BOY ELECTED TO UTILIZE THIS MOMENT TO DEMONSTRATE THAT, AS IN ANY THIRD WORLD REGIME, HE MUST EMPLOY PHYSICAL IMPERSONATERS.
 
"PEOPLE LAUGHED AT SADDAM HUSSEIN FOR HIS ARMY OF HUSSEIN A-LIKES," ADMITTED ONE WAG.  "IT JUST MAKES NO SENSE THAT BULLY BOY WOULD WANT THE WORLD TO KNOW THAT HERE, IN THE UNITED STATES, WE HAVE TO EMPLOY THE SAME DEVICE."
 
SOME FELT IT WAS A DESPERATION MOVE RESULTING FROM THE STONEY SILENCE THAT GREETED HIS ATTEMPT AT A JOKE WEDNESDAY WHEN HE INTRODUCED THE WORLD TO HIS LATEST HOUSE PET, TONY SNOW.
 
GRINNING WIDELY, AND EYES DANCING IN ANTICIPATION, BULLY BOY DECLARED, "FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO HAVE READ HIS COLUMNS AND LISTENED TO HIS RADIO SHOW, HE SOMETIMES HAS DISAGREED WITH ME.  I ASKED HIM ABOUT THOSE COMMENTS, AND HE SAID, 'YOU SHOULD HAVE HEARD WHAT I SAID ABOUT THE OTHER GUY.' " 
 
AT WHICH POINT, BULLY BOY LOOKED AROUND FOR A LAUGH THAT NEVER CAME BEFORE ATTEMPTING TO PLAY OFF THIS VERY PUBLIC HUMILIATION OF PRESS LAP DOGS REFUSING TO LAP UP HIS SOP.
 
DID THIS LEAD TO SUNDAY'S NIGHT EMBARRASSING PERFORMANCE?
 
NO ONE CAN BE SURE BUT THIS MORNING, ON THE THIRD ANNIVERSARY OF HIS INFAMOUS ANNOUNCEMENT THAT MAJOR COMBAT OPERATIONS HAD ENDED IN IRAQ IN FRONT OF A BANNER THAT READ "MISSION ACCOMPLISHED," BULLY BOY WAS BACK TO 'JOSHING' AS HE EXPRESSED HIS FIRM CONFIDENCE IN THE CURRENT IRAQI LEADERSHIP INSTALLED AND HAND PICKED BY THE U.S. GOVERNMENT.
 
 
 
 


Yahoo! Mail goes everywhere you do. Get it on your phone.

Saturday, April 29, 2006

THIS JUST ! TRANSLATIONS FRIGHTEN THE BULLY BOY

BULLY BOY PRESS - DC.
 
THIS JUST IN!
 
TRANSLATIONS FRIGHTEN THE BULLY BOY!
 
POSSIBLY EXPLAINING THE FAILURES OF THE FBI TRANSLATION DEPARTMENT, BULLY BOY DECLARED HIMSELF FRIDAY AS AGAINST THE SINGING OF THE NATIONAL ANTHEM IN SPANISH.
 
WHEN ASKED WHY, BULLY BOY REPLIED, "PEOPLE GOT TOO MUCH . . . TOO MUCH UNDERSTANDINGS.  WE GOT TOO MUCH UNDERSTANDINGS GOING ON.  WHAT WE HAVE HERE IS A FAILURE TO MISCOMMUNICATE.  TOO MUCH UNDERSTANDINGS.  WE LET THIS ONE SLIDE BY AND PRETTY SOON 'SWEET HOME ALABAMA' BECOMES 'SWEET CASA JUAREZ.'  WHERE DOES IT END?  IT'S LIKE WHEN I GO TO TACO BELL.  I WON'T ORDER A 'BURRITO.'  I ASK FOR THE 'WRAP AROUND.'  IT'S ABOUT BEING AMERICAN.  OR LIKE WHEN I DRINK A
. . . WHEN I USED TO DRINK.  I WON'T ORDER A 'MARGARITA.'  I ASK FOR, I ASKED FOR A SLURPEE WITH ALCOHOL.  IT'S ABOUT SAVING THE CULTURE.  THIS COUNTRY WAS BUILT UPON SAVING CULTURE. THAT'S WHY WE STOOD UP TO THE INJUNS.  IMAGINE IF WE HADN'T DONE THAT.  WE'D ALL BE SPEAKING LAKOTANEESE RIGHT NOW."
 
BULLY BOY ALSO SPOKE OUT AGAINST THE MAY 1ST BOYCOTTS AND WORK STOPPAGE. 
 
"IF PEOPLE STOP WORKING FOR A DAY," HE EXPLAINED, "WE MIGHT HAVE LESS CARS ON THE ROAD.  THAT COULD CREATE AN ENERGY CRISIS.  I'M DEALING WITH GLOBAL WARMING BY REDUCING THE EMISSIONS LAWS.  PEOPLE NEED TO DEAL WITH THE RISING PRICE OF GAS BY GOING ABOUT THEIR DAILY BUSINESS IN AS MANY CARS AS POSSIBLE.  GET ON THE ROAD, DRIVE TO WORK.  DRIVE FROM WORK.  DRIVE AROUND YOUR CITY.  USE THE GAS.  THAT'S HOW WE CONFRONT AN ENERGY CRISIS.  ME AND DICK [CHENEY] ARE SERIOUSLY DISCUSSING USING NUKES ON PEOPLE WHO RIDE BUSES.  IF WE DON'T CONFRONT THE ENEMY IN FRONT OF US, HE MIGHT SNEAK UP BEHIND US.  DICK SAYS THEY GIVE WEDGIES AND WET WILLIES AND I AM THE LEADER OF THE FREE WORLD SO I'LL BE DADGUMMED IF ANY ONE'S GOING TO DO THAT TO ME.  THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME.  GOD BLESS AMERICA.  VOTE FOR ME IN 2006.  GOD BLESS YOU."
 
WHEN NEW WHITE HOUSE LAP DOG TONY SNOW WAS ASKED ABOUT THE "VOTE FOR ME IN 2006" COMMENT, HE REPLIED, "THE BULLY BOY IS ALWAYS RUNNING.  HE IS A MAN OF ACTION.  HE NEVER STOPS."
 
WHEN PRODDED FURTHER, WHITE HOUSE LAP DOG SNOW REFUSED TO CONCEED THAT THE BULLY BOY HAD MISPOKEN. 
 
"OUR LEADER DOES NOT MISSPEAK," INSISTED SNOW.  "THE PEOPLE MAY MISHEAR, BUT BULLY BOY NEVER MISSPEAKS.  IN FACT IT IS THE PEOPLE WHO ARE TO BLAME FOR US BEING IN IRAQ.  THEY MISHEARD.  THE BULLY BOY DID NOT MISPEAK."
 
SOME WAGS ARE LABELING IT: "FOX COMES TO THE WHITE HOUSE."
 
 


Talk is cheap. Use Yahoo! Messenger to make PC-to-Phone calls. Great rates starting at 1¢/min.

Thursday, April 27, 2006

THIS JUST IN! "BROKEBACK EACH OTHER'S MOUNTAINS!" SCREAMS SNOW

BULLY BOY PRESS - DC.
 
THIS JUST IN!
 
"BROKEBACK EACH OTHER'S MOUNTAINS!" SCREAMS SNOW.
 
FOLLOWING YESTERDAY'S NEWS THAT BULLY BOY HAD TAPPED IT, TONY SNOW -- SOON TO BE WHITE HOUSE PRESS SECRETARY AND CUDDLY PET --
ATTEMPTED TO MAKE IT CLEAR THAT HE IS NOT JUST A BULLY BOY BEEOCH. 
 
DESPITE THIS, PROFESSIONAL MATCHMAKER AND YENTA, BILLY KRISTOL PRONOUNCED THE NEW RELATIONSHIP AS "HEALTHY."  KRISTOL WENT ON TO DESCRIBE TONY SNOW AS "A HAPPY GO-LUCKY GUY" BUT REFUSED ANY FOLLOW UP QUESTIONS ATTEMPTING TO DETERMINE IF HE WAS SPEAKING "IN CODE."
 
WHEN ASKED WHAT SORT OF RELATIONSHIP HE WAS STRIVING FOR, TONY SNOW REMINDED REPORTERS OF HIS COLUMN WHERE HE USED THE WORD "SIR" TO ADDRESS THE BULLY BOY.  CLEARLY SNOW IS HOPING TO BE THE MARCI TO BULLY BOY'S PEPPERMINT PATTI.  WHILE CONDI RICE'S HAIR CLEARLY MAKES HER LUCY, THE CASTING OF LINUS IS STILL UP IN THE AIR.  DEVELOPING.
 
 
 


New Yahoo! Messenger with Voice. Call regular phones from your PC and save big.

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

THIS JUST IN! BULLY BOY TAPS IT!

BULLY BOY PRESS - DC.
 
THIS JUST IN!
 
BULLY BOY TAPS IT!
 
"HE WILL BRING A LOT . . .," SOON TO BE FORMER WHITE HOUSE LAP DOG SCOTTY MCCLELLAN BEGAN BEFORE BREAKING INTO SOBS AT THE THOUGHT OF BEING REPLACED IN BULLY BOY'S HEART BY TV PERSONALITY TONY SNOW WHO BULLY BOY HAS TAPPED TO FILL SCOTTY'S CHAIN-LINK COLLAR.
 
WHILE THIS ROUND OF AMERICAN IDOLATRY PLAYED OUT WITH ALL THE SNAP OF A CLAY AIKEN SONG, BULLY BOY COULD BE SEEN GLOATING WITH TV PERSONALITY TONY SNOW. 
 
"HIS ONLY REAL AMBITION," CONFESSED 1 CLOSE FRIEND, "WAS TO BE CENTER SQUARE ON THE HOLLYWOOD SQAURES.  THEN BULLY BOY TAPPED IT AND NOW THAT'S ALL TONY CAN THINK ABOUT IT."
 
"WHICH MUST BE WHY," OFFERED SOMEONE WHO ASKED TO REMAIN ANONYMOUS BUT SOMEONE WHO IS NOT SCOTT MCCLELLAN, "HE USES THOSE CHEAP CREST STRIPTS FOR HIS FRONT TEETH ONLY."
 
WHILE IT IS TRUE THAT TONY SNOW'S TEETH ARE FAR MORE YELLOW ON THE SIDE, BULLY BOY PRESS HAS BEEN UNABLE TO CONFIRM WHETHER OR NOT SNOW USES CREST-STRIPS.
 
BULLY BOY WAS SEEN STRUTTING THROUGH THE WHITE HOUSE, BACK SLAPPING, AND HOLLERING, "HOOO-WEEE! TAPPED IT!"
 
 
 
 
ANNOUNCEMENT FROM DANNY SCHECHTER:
 
SCHEDULE
Thanks for tuning in. I will be speaking in Boston at Emerson College on Friday at 7 PM. The film The Jihadi and the Journalist which I worked on opens at the Tribeca Film Festival on the 27th, and South African Broadcasting’s SABC 1 airs on April 26th on SABC 1 at 9 PM. Amandla!
 
 
 


Blab-away for as little as 1¢/min. Make PC-to-Phone Calls using Yahoo! Messenger with Voice.

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

THIS JUST IN! THE DEALER IN CHIEF

BULLY BOY PRESS - DC.

THIS JUST IN!

THE DEALER IN CHIEF!

TODAY, AT THE RENEWABLE FUELS ASSOCIATION, BULLY BOY SAID, "OUR ADDICTION TO OIL IS A MATTER OF NATIONAL SECURITY CONCERNS."

THEREFORE, BULLY BOY WILL BE LOWERING ENVIRONMENTAL GUIDELINES BECAUSE "EVERY LITTLE BIT HELPS."

SAME THING THE DEALER ON THE CORNER OUTSIDE THE MIDDLE SCHOOL SAYS.



Recommended: "NYT: Taking a look at the pipeline, ignoring other things"
"Law and Disorder, Iraq and more (including Jane Fonda quote)"
"flashpoints and the threepenny opera"
"Longer version of 'Quick post'"
"Cover to Cover with Denny Smithson (Interviewing Jane Fonda)"
"Antonia Juhasz on The Bush Agenda: Invading the World, One Economy at a Time"



Monday, April 24, 2006

THIS JUST IN! BULLY BOY NEEDS HELP COUNTING!

BULLY BOY PRESS - IRVINE, CA.

THIS JUST IN!

BULLY BOY NEEDS HELP COUNTING!

SPEAKING IN IRVINE, CALIFORNIA TODAY, BULLY BOY, THE OFFICIAL BULLY BOY OF THE UNITED STATES, ATTEMPTED TO GRAB A LITTLE OF THE IMMIGRATION HEADLINES TO SPIN PEOPLE'S ATTENTION FROM IRAQ.

WHEN THAT DID NOT WORK, BULLY BOY STATED THAT ON THE LARGER ISSUES, HE WOULD DO IT AGAIN, BUT MAYBE THERE WERE SOME MISSTEPS ALONG THE WAY.

MISSTEPS?

MAYBE 2389 MISSTEPS?

HAVING LOST IN THE POLLS, SPECULATIONS ABOUND ABOUT THE BULLY BOY. ONE IS "WHAT HAPPENS NOW THAT HE IS CORNERED?" THE OTHER IS "HAS HE LOST IT?"

Recommended: "And the war drags on"
"NYT: Tavernise is lost in Iraq and Weisman just lost period"
"Hawaii and we're overrun with Fluff"
"Cookie Marshmallow Cups in the Kitchen"



Friday, April 21, 2006

THIS JUST IN! FREE SPEECH DIED TODAY!

BULLY BOY PRESS - DC.
 
THIS JUST IN!
 
FREE SPEECH DIED TODAY!
 
THURSDAY, AT A JOINT APPEARANCE BY BULLY BOY AND UP AND COMING BULLY BOY WANNA' BE HU JINTAO, A WOMAN
 
WANG WENYI WAS CHARGED TODAY FOR THE CRIME OF HECKLING.  AMONG THE OFFICIAL MISDEMEANOR CHARGES LODGED AGAINST WENYI ARE "WILLFULLY INTIMIDATING, COERCING THREATENING AND HARRASSING A FOREIGN OFFICIAL."
 
INTERNATIONAL BILLIE JEAN KING LOOKALIKE WINNER AND ATTORNEY GENERAL ALBERTO GONZALES IS REPORTED TO HAVE DECLARED,  "FREE SPEECH ONLY BELONGS TO THE GOVERNMENT!  DIDN'T YOU PEOPLE PAY ATTENTION TO THE SUPREME COURT CASE ON RECRUITERS!"
 
TERRORISM BY HECKLES IS EXPECTED TO BE ENFORCED AT ALL APPEARANCES BY THE ADMINISTRATION AS WELL AS IN SOME OF THE SEEDIER LOUNGES IN LAS VEGAS.
 
JACKIE MASON WAS REPORTED TO HAVE SHOUTED, "ABOUT DAMN TIME!"
 
WITH HECKLING NOW ON THE LIST OF TERRORISM CRIMES, LEGAL EXPERTS EXPECT IT IS ONLY A MATTER OF TIME BEFORE PARODY, SATIRE AND KNOCK-KNOCK JOKES ARE ALSO BANNED.
 
AT A PLAYGROUND NEAR FOGGY BOTTOM TODAY, ATF AGENTS COULD BE SEEN OBSERVING THE KIDS AND ISSUING STERN LOOKS TO ANY CHILD WHO DARED TO SAY "KNOCK-KNOCK."
 
THE CHILLING INTIMIDATION LED TO NO RESPONSES OF "WHO'S THERE?" 
 
AS THE KNOCK-KNOCK JOKE GOES, SO GOES AMERICA.
 


Celebrate Earth Day everyday! Discover 10 things you can do to help slow climate change. Yahoo! Earth Day

Thursday, April 20, 2006

THIS JUST IN! ALBERTO GONZALES IN THE MIDST OF MADONNA UP!

BULLY BOY PRESS - DC.
 
THIS JUST IN!
 
ALBERTO GONZALES IN THE MIDST OF MADONNA UP!
 
ATTORNEY GENERAL OF THE UNITED STATES AND NATIONAL, AS WELL AS INTERNATIONAL, WINNER IN THE BILLIE JEAN KING LOOKALIKE CONTEST ALBERTO GONZALES FEELS A LITTLE NEGLETED WITH ALL THE ATTENTION ON SECRETARY OF DEFENSE DONALD RUMSFELD AND THE EVICTED WHITE HOUSE LAP DOG SCOTTY.
 
AS A RESULT, GONZALES HAS SET OUT ON A SHAMELESS ATTEMPT TO SELF-PROMOTE HIMSELF WITH A ZEAL THAT HAS NOT BEEN SINCE MADONNA GOT ALL FREAKY ON BOOKS, SONG AND FILM.
 
SPEAKING TODAY PUBLICLY, ALBERTO GONZALES DECLARED, "I HAVE SEEN PICTURES OF OLDER MEN FORCING NAKED YOUNG GIRLS TO HAVE ANAL SEX."
 
THOUGH THE NEW REVEALED POTTY MOUTH ON THE ATTORNEY GENERAL MAY GARNER HIM SOME ATTENTION MANY WONDER A) WHAT THE AG IS DOING SPEAKING IN THAT MANNER AND B) IF HE REALLY SHOULD BE SHARING WHAT HE LOOKS AT ONLINE?
 
THE SELF-PROMOTION IS INTENDED TO RAISE HIS OWN PROFILE, HENCE IT'S CODENAME "MADONNA UP," AND ALSO TO TAKE HEAT OFF DONALD RUMSFELD. 
 
SAID PROFESSIONAL CREEP JERRY FALWELL, "I LIKE IT.  I LIKE IT A LOT.  EVER SINCE MADONNA STARTED POPPING OUT BABIES, THERE'S NOT BEEN A LOT OF ME TO GET WORKED UP OVER."
 
 
 


Love cheap thrills? Enjoy PC-to-Phone calls to 30+ countries for just 2¢/min with Yahoo! Messenger with Voice.

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

THIS JUST IN! BULLY BOY CUTS THE WHITE HOUSE LAP DOG LOOSE!

BULLY BOY PRESS - DC.
 
THIS JUST IN!
 
BULLY BOY CUTS THE WHITE HOUSE LAP DOG LOOSE!
 
NO NOT BARNEY! 
 
THE OFFICIAL LAP DOG, SCOTTY MCCLELLAN.
 
SCOTTY'S BEEN IN TROUBLE FOR SOME TIME AND BEEN SNAPPISH AS A RESULT.  THERE WAS THE ARM WRESTLING WITH CONDI TO SEE TO SEE WHO GOT TO KEEP THE FIRST CODPIECE.  THERE WAS THAT DRUNKEN WOMAN WHO KEPT SHOWING UP TO HECKLE THE BULLY BOY.  BUT IF SCOTTY'S FATE WAS SEALED IT CAME WHEN BULLY BOY WENT TO CANADA AND MET SCOTT REID.
 
"WELL YOU GOT A PRETTY FACE," BULLY BOY TOLD REID GIVING HIM THE SLOW ONCE OVER.  "YOU GOT A PRETTY FACE.  YOU'RE A GOOD LOOKING GUY.  BETTER LOOKING THAN MY SCOTT ANYWAY."
 
PRETTIER AND YOUNGER, MOST IMPORTANTLY, THINNER.  BULLY BOY DON'T LIKE A FAT BOY.
 
SINCE THAT DAY, BULLY BOY'S BEEN SINGING HIS OWN VERSION OF JAMES TAYLOR'S "MONA:"
 
SCOTTY, SCOTTY
SO MUCH OF YOU TO LOVE
TOO MUCH OF YOU TAKE CARE OF
SCOTTY, SCOTTY
YOU GOT TOO BIG TO KEEP
AND TOO DAMN OLD TO EAT
 
 
SCOTTY LEFT THE WHITE HOUSE TODAY, TAIL BETWEEN HIS LEGS, WHIMPERING, "ALL OF US SERVE AT THE PLEASURE OF THE PRESIDENT."
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 



Blab-away for as little as 1¢/min. Make PC-to-Phone Calls using Yahoo! Messenger with Voice.

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

THIS JUST IN! RUMSFELD NEW CAREER MOVE!

BULLY BOY PRESS - DC.
THIS JUST IN!
RUMSFELD'S NEW CAREER MOVE!
WITH ALL THE ATTENTION ON JULIA ROBERTS AND HER UPCOMING BROADWAY DEBUT, LITTLE ATTENTION IS BEING PAID TO SECRETARY OF DEFENSE DONALD RUMSFELD'S BRAVO PERFORMANCE.
IN ADDITION TO HIS DEFENSE DUTIES AS WELL AS SQUINTING, DONALD RUMSFELD HAS TAKEN ON THE ROLE OF EFFIE WHITE.
AS HE GEARS UP FOR HIS OWN BROADWAY DEBUT (DATE STILL UNANNOUNCED AS HE CONTINUES OUT OF TOWN TRY OUTS), DONALD CAN BE HEARD SINGING HIS SIGNATURE TUNE: "AND I AM TELLING YOU I'M NOT GOING."
DAY AFTER DAY, RUMSFELD CAN BE FOUND ALL OVER DC SINGING THE SAME TUNE AS HE GEARS UP FOR HIS ROLE AS EFFIE WHITE IN THE REVIVAL OF DREAMGIRLS.


Monday, April 17, 2006

THIS JUST IN! VICE PRESIDENT DICK CHENEY IS FURIOUS!

BULLY BOY PRESS - DC.
THIS JUST IN!
VICE PRESIDENT DICK CHENEY IS FURIOUS!
"HOLLWOOD MAY HAVE ROBBED ME OF MY G*****N, F*****G OSCAR, BUT I'LL BE G*****N IF I'LL SHARE MY TUNE-TIME WITH THAT LITTLE MUTHA F****R!" NOTORIUS DICK WAS HEARD TO HOLLA.
DESPITE HIS OSCAR NOMINATION AND THE FACT THAT THE FILM WILL BE PLAYING SOON IN IRAN, BROKEDOWN DEMOCRACY BROUGHT NOTORIUS DICK NO NEW FILM OFFERS -- AND BEING 1/4 OF THE BULLIES AND THE TYRANTS ISN'T THE SAME AS BEING A SOLO ACT.
"HE'S JEALOUS," EXPLAINED DICKIE MYERS. "HE'S JUST JEALOUS. HE WON'T EVEN LET ME RECORD UNDER THE NAME 'DICK' SO I HAVE TO USE 'DICKIE."
MYERS, THE FORMER JOINT CHIEFS CHAIRMAN, IS NOW BARNSTORMING THE CHAT & CHEWS, SINGING A SONG HE HOPES IS A HUGE HIT.
EXPLAINING THAT IT WAS "INAPPROPRIATE" FOR EX GENERALS TO CRITICIZE SECRETARY OF DEFENSE DONALD RUMSFELD, DICKIE MYERS SMILED INTO THE CAMERA AND STATED, "THIS ONES IS FOR YOU DONNIE!"
AS THE CAMERA PULLED BACK, DICKIE STOOD BEHIND A FENDER COMTEMPO ORGAN WHICH HE BEGAN POUNDING ON. AS STROBE LIGHTS FLASHED AND SMOKE EFFECTS WAFTED, THREE WOMEN CAME OUT ON STAGE TO DANCE BEHIND HIM WHILE HE SANG:
Don't say nothin' bad about my baby
Oh, no
Don't say nothin' bad about my baby
I love him so
Don't say nothin' bad about my baby
Oh, don't you know
Don't say nothin' bad about my baby
He's good (he's good), he's good to me (good to me)
That's all I care about
Oh, no
AS DICKIE COMPLETED THE GERRY GOFFIN & CAROL KING CLASSIC, GEORGE STEPHANOPOULOS WALKED ON TO THE STAGE TO SHAKE DICKIE'S HAND AND EXPLAIN THAT DICKIE WOULD LIKE TO STAY LONGER BUT HAD TO RUSH TO THE NEXT STOP ON HIS TOUR.
"NO GRAVITAS," SNARLED ORIGINAL THUGSTER DICK CHENEY. "THE GUYS DON'T LIKE HIM, THE DOLLS KNOW THEY CAN BEAT HIM UP. I CAN EAT, CHEW UP AND THEN CRAP OUT THESE FRANKIE AVALON TYPES IN LESS THAN 10 MINUTES. GOTTA ROUGH NECK UP! YOU FEEL ME, YOU FEEL ME? HOLLA!"
Recommended: "And the war drags on"